Wednesday, April 28, 2010

God loving on me

Ok this one will be short I promise....:) at least that is the intention!

Just wanted to share a tidbit. I recently read a blog that talked about Miracle box Mondays so I think I will start that soon but this would be a tidbit I would put in that miracle box. I will get you info on how to do one if you would like at a later date but here is my little thing.

The last few weeks God has been moving in our lives, and in some things we need for our adoption. We know some  are obvious but some we just don't know about quite yet. God does, and He knows what we need before we need it. I am gonna step out in faith again in this sharing so bare with me just a bit.

So while we know what we need God has decided to surprise is in a round about way that would meet one of the last requirements in our adoption other than the money of course. I love how He is in the intricate details. Now I cannot share exactly what it is yet until we are absolutely sure of this but I do believe it is going to happen. He just continues to speak to me about it. I am being neutral in this because if I get my heart into it then that is when I will be in trouble.

 Anyway lets just say Bud and I did not have to be at church tonight so we dropped Tommy off there and then took Sis to Guard try-outs (she has been on guard every year both seasons but yet this is an annual routine, she still has to do) and then we went to get some ice cream. A treat for us, we do not go spend money on ice cream normally because I am picky about the price when you can get a half gallon at the store for the same price you spend on two. Anyway we were driving back and we were talking about this "gift" that God may have in store for us and as we are turning the corner to home the song, "Walk by Faith" came on. Now if you read my blog earlier you know how significant that song is to me. He sends me that song like he send the ladybugs. Just not as frequent, but it reminds me that He is in control and that I should not doubt. The funny thing was that was exactly what I was doing! So I feel in my heart He just may do this for us. Do we deserve it??NO!! Do we ever deserve the gifts He gives us, not at all! If its what God wants will we follow? YES we will, walking by faith WE WILL!! So in my memory box I will put an ice cream cone for this memory and Him reminding me He has it all under control! Thank you Lord for always knowing my heart, speaking to it and comforting me! We are indeed "Walking By Faith!"

Blessings and Ladybugs

Monday, April 26, 2010

Backing Up

I have been reading adoption blogs this afternoon and I have come to the conclusion that maybe some of you do not know the story behind God leading us to adopt from China. So if your interested here you go.

I have always had a heart for children. From the time I was little I loved being around kids and taking care of them. I use to help my Mom babysit. It seemed natural to me to love on other people's children. I was young when I got married and we started having kids. I never had an issue with taking care of them and was never burdened by the lack of sleep that is associated with little ones. I loved every minute of being a Mom to three toddlers. Now they are all teens and I still would not trade one minute of their lives.

There have been difficulties at times. When Tommy was born with Hirschsprungs disease and had to have multiple surgeries, somehow I stayed calm. God really just took care of us during all of that. I know that now looking back He was the one who walked with us daily. There is no earthly way I could have comprehended all that the disease entailed and still managed to take care of our other toddlers. God did that. He does it still! I do believe that each obstacle that my children face we face together. He has prepared me to handle pretty much anything when it comes to them. So while two were in elementary school and one in middle school God decided to surprise me to see just how much I could handle.

We had some friends that were adopting from China, two friends to be exact and they were able to walk through their journey together. I had heard of some other church members adopting and I thought it was very sweet that they were giving a child a family. I didn't think to much on it but when are friends that were adopting from China were in the waiting process, (Those of you who have adopted from China know what I mean. They were waiting for final permission to go get their girls.) I began to feel this burden to pray for them. I mean on my knees and pray for one of the two she was struggling with the waiting and was just on a roller coaster of emotions. In the midst of all this God began to speak to my heart.

He was gentle at first. A nudge here a reminder there. Then all of a sudden I was so aware of the plight of these little girls from China that I could not get it out of my head. In case you do not know China has a one child policy in their government. It started in the late 70's to limit the population growth. It was deemed to be a temporary thing but has continued and will continue through the next decade at least. Fines, pressures to abort a pregnancy, and even forced sterilization accompanied second or subsequent pregnancies.It is not an all-encompassing rule because it has always been restricted to ethnic Han Chinese living in urban areas. Citizens living in rural areas and minorities living in China are not subject to the law. However, the rule has been estimated to have reduced population growth in the country of 1.3 billion by as much as 300 million people over its first twenty years.This rule has caused a disdain for female infants; abortion, neglect, abandonment, and even infanticide have been known to occur to female infants. (about.com) Girls are discarded because boys are the ones throughout their society and history that take care of the families as they grow old. Girls will help their husbands take care of their husbands families. So little girls have been left anywhere you can think of, never in the same province that they're born in for fear of the law  in hopes of being found and being able to live and have someone take care of them. You see in China it is also illegal to abandon your baby as well. So their orphanges are full of little girls all ages needing homes to live in. The more God nudged the louder their voices were heard in my heart.

I am a reasonable person but at first I wanted no part of this. We could not afford it, we had three children of our own, we were about to go through the costly high school years. All arguments I set at with God and He just remained quiet. Signs were everywhere, I could not deny He was leading us to this. So again I thought I would negotiate with Him. Looking back not a good idea. This is the God of the universe, you know He will always win. I read the book I know how it goes :) yet my humanness had something that needed clarifying. International adoption is expensive. There are children here in America that need homes. Lord could we try and adopt one of those sweet ones? So after this negotiating He finally got a little, how would I say this, um, upset, no more like FIRM! Now I do not know if you have ever had God speak to you in prayer or dreams or through His word. That is normally how he speaks, scripture says "My sheep hear my voice and they know me." Well apparently He was done reasoning with me.

I was at work one day, at the time I worked for a contract company for immigration. Some of His reminders came across my desk daily of these sweet little chinese faces. You have to understand some of His reminders were Steven Curtis Chapmans adoption stories. His songs plus other stories as well. I remember well the day I heard that they came back from China with Maria Sue. On this particular day I was listening to my headphones along with everyone else in my area. It was dead quiet. Focus on the Family was on and Dr. Dobson had some guests on talking about adoption and then SCC came on and sort of bookended the program. During all this was when I was "negotiating" with God. At the end of the program, I said "Why not God" why not the little ones right here, its so much cheaper." And I am not kidding, I have never heard this before and have not heard it since, but there was this voice, and audible voice, loud and clear, that said, "I didn't say domestic, I said China!" I literally took off my headphones and looked around actually looking for someone. It sounded as though they were right behind me. There was no one there, everything was still quiet. I just sat back in my chair and went, WOW! That was God!! Totally blew me away. I have held on to that so many times. He knew I would need it.

So I went home and told my husband and he just sorta looked at me like what? Are you serious? Adoption?? Just sat real quiet and still. I asked him to just pray about it and see what he thought. So over the next few days I began to pray, Lord this is not something I can do on my own. If You want this then Your gonna have to put it on his heart too. A few days later I came home from work and he sat me down and looked right into my eyes and said as serious as the day he asked me to marry him, "I think we are suppose to adopt from China." So the waiting on God began.

Throughout the past six years we have done things to learn more about international adoption. We've went to seminars and gotten tons of information and God has just been very gracious to us. There are times I have tried to move forward without waiting on Him and it never goes well. We've lost money that way and we've been discouraged. It taught us a lesson though. Waiting on Him is best, trying to do it on our own, heartbreaking. I know He has taught me so many things through the waiting and I know He has more to teach me once we really begin.

I have collected things for our China girl throughout the years. Its sort of a 'faith" thing. I buy these little things stepping out in faith knowing He has promised us this and that He never goes against His word or His promises. Two things I have learned about through this, and the chinese culture, that are positive that bring me encouragement, 1)There is an ancient Chinese belief that an invisible, unbreakable red thread connects all those who are destined to be together,regardless of time or circumstance. it may stretch or tangle but it will never break. We are connected to her. 2) Is the ladybug I first started liking ladybugs when I read a bit of Mary Beth Chapmans Shaoey and Dot, it is a view of one little ladybug, Dot, who happens upon a mysterious bundle in China one sunny day. Dot stays with the little bundle as she is carried to the place "where babies come to be found" and promises to stay with the little one throughout her journeys toward getting a family. They are also said to be of good luck when it comes to Chinese adoptions. I myself do not believe in luck, so I asked God to show me one when I get discouraged and when I feel like we are "stuck" Its like getting loved on by The Father. He has been wonderful to oblige my silliness.

Lately I feel as though we have begun to move forward, small steps but important ones. My husband is still hesitant because he does not want our hearts broken again. But God has been very affirming in what we are doing lately. All I need is baby steps to get to my girl. One step one nudge and one ladybug at a time. Please join us on our journey to get our own sweet little ladybug that God has promised us, "Not domestic, China!!" Thanks for reading today. Tell me what you think of our awesome God and His promise to us.

Blessings and Ladybugs!





Monday, April 19, 2010

Being Still

My house is crazy 90% of the time. We have two teens at home and one in college and let's just say our schedules are normally always packed with something. They are all busy kids and I find myself loving just being with them no matter what they are "in to" its nice when it is something I like though always a plus! The last few weeks have been relaxing, no place to run too other than church! This week however is gonna be busy 2 concerts in one week and then Tommy has Large group band festival this weekend in Springfield, and Ernie is bringing two friends home to stay the weekend with us! Busy again! I don't mind, remember I love a full house! :) Its just sometimes when I want to get alone with God, I have to squeeze it in. That is NOT fun and God does not like it when we "squeeze" Him in! So I have come up with a new plan!

You see as your children grow their schedules change, they get up earlier and stay up later, and if your teens are like mine, they love to talk into the wee hours of the night. Now I am a night owl but there is only so long I can stay up until my body reminds me that I do not have the body of the teens that live in my house! But I don't want to miss a minute of time with them. I mean if they need to talk its because its important or they just want to "be with me" I find that comforting! That even in the middle of the teen years, my kids still want to be with me!! They love hanging out with their friends don't get me wrong, and I tend to embarrass them in front of them now and again. (I promise not on purpose) So trust me they ARE normal! But we have this bond. It is hard to describe, but I think it is like the bond that we have with God. We go off and do the things we have to do in this world, like work and the things life requires and we too like hanging out with our friends. I find though that we are at most peace, and feel the most love, when we are in the presence of our Heavenly Father! Lately I have been just craving that time with My Father. I need it, it fuels me and fills me up. It reminds me I am loved beyond anything I can every imagine. I pray I relay that to my children like God does for me, course nothing in comparison could I offer them like He does me, but I want them to feel that kind of unconditional love.

So I have found my way to spend even more time with The Father, my special "sit in His lap time". I have to break it up but its kind of like saying "Good morning Lord, and then later in the day "Goodnight Lord thanks for getting me through this day." I have found myself to be praying more, and listening more and loving more! So I think it is working. You really have to "Be Still and know that He is God" to get this sometimes. Do you know what I mean when I say I crave that time with Him? Its like a breath of fresh air or a drink of cool water. He loves us so very much! So very much!

For instance, (of course I have to give you an example, you should know me by now :) ) I have began to read Max Lucado's "Fearless" its his new book that just came out. Its truly amazing I highly recommend it! Can change your life forever! So I am reading this chapter called "The Villagers of Stiltsville" its about fearing that you do not matter, seeming insignificant. Have you ever felt that way? Oh I have believe me. I feel insignificant in other peoples life's, like when they get around to me they will spend time with me, or if there was more time in the day they would drop a line or a call or text just to say they are thinking of me, or there are those whom you adore and you aren't always sure how to tell them, because you already feel insignificant so if you look vulnerable or "not perfect" it will just get worse. Yes I have felt that way. God showed me something in this chapter. That in the middle of me letting this fear seep in that our sweet daughter in China may feel this way as well. The reason I say this is because Max mentioned it to the letter about orphans in China! Don't believe me take a look at page 24! I was being all "me me me" and God reminded me this chapter is not really about me its about her! When I do not even have her on my mind which lately has been rare, but I was completely focusing on what God was telling me here and He just had to plug that in. It was not a little thing either it was a full page about these sweet orphans and it was hard to read through my tears. I stopped right there and praised Him for putting adoption in our lives and on our hearts. I have to confess it made me want her home RIGHT NOW though! Especially when the chapter said how the children weeped over getting books brought in by a friend of Max's one of his children's box had been translated into Chinese so they could read them. They cried because someone thought of them, thought they were "significant" It just broke my heart! Can you imagine?? No one ever really loving you or being there to hold you and read to you? Can you imagine that, feeling that insignificant? Oh how it makes me hurt for them! I would bring them all home to live with me if I could!

Again more tears but He brought me comfort too! Psalm 139:15 "You were fearfully and wonderfully made (I was thinking of her) Psalm 139:14, 18 He can't stop thinking about you! If you could count His thoughts, "they would be more in number than the sand" Read that again. Can you imagine that?? God thinks about us THAT much!!! Oh how that brings joy to my hurting heart! I want my baby girl home and He knows how much I hurt and how much I want that because He wants that too. I know that He is teaching me to just wait on Him and love on Him in the wait. It's tough but It is the only way this will work. I know I have tried before to push this forward. This time feels different, this time I truly feel He is leading every step. The last words of this chapter from Max is this, He is talking about when the Carpenter came to Stiltsville this is what it says,
since the Carpenter came
and refused to be stilted.
He chose low over high,
left the system tip-tilted.

"You matter already,"
he explained to the town.
"Trust me on this one,
Keep your feet on the ground."

So we are trusting Him as always. Proverbs 3:5-6 came to me today in a text. I thought it fitting. Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart, lean NOT on YOUR own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge Him for He will make your path straight. Fitting indeed! It is my youngest son's favorite Bible verse too. God is so sweet to love on us. Praise Him for all the wonderful things He does in your life, from the littlest things to the most beautiful thing you can think of, all from HIM!!!

I'm not going back,
I'm moving ahead,
I'm here to declare to you,
my past is over,
In You, All things are made new,
Surrender my life to Christ,
I'm moving, moving FORWARD!!

Please continue to pray for us and join us on this journey "Moving Forward" Its a great song we sing in church and I just love it very much!! Praising you Father for what Your doing and what Your going to do!

With Blessings and love :)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

He is still at work!

God still amazes me every single day it seems the last week!! I have tried to just sit back and soak in the little things He is doing but it seems to be one thing after the other and I begin to laugh!!

Recently I feel God is leading me to start an in home day care. Not sure of how or when it could start but I felt earlier this winter He was leading me to start in the summer. Well I prayed and prayed and I'd get one bite or two here or there, but nothing substantial. Then the events of this past week began to unfold and all of a sudden I had friends here and there saying I might have a mom for you to watch her little one! I was truly amazed!! Then I began to pray Lord I have nothing to start this with. My kids are all grown. No baby things or cribs or anything for someone to even lay in to rest their sweet heads. And just like that in a matter of 24 hours I was blessed with 3 Pack N Plays!!! 3!!! Not sure why I need 3 but He knows!! So I do believe I am moving in the right direction!! Now for some toys and books and blocks and we could actually get this thing off the ground in a month and a half! He is indeed still working!! Could it be that this is truly the beginning of bringing our baby girl home to us??? It could very well be, in this way I could still work and be home with her! I am so blessed to have a God who knows exactly what I need before I need it!!

On another quick note! I feel like I have been on a "God High" all week!! Just waiting to crash face down into the dirt and go back to crying and wailing and "knashing my teeth" :) But He has not let me fall! He just holds me close in His arms and continues to love on me! What a wonderful Savior we have!! This morning in church our sweet Music Minister (Love ya Lee) always knows what songs to pick out to truly worship our Father! He picked Mighty to Save and a new one He "sang over us" and my heart just was overflowing with Love for the Father! As we got to the line in Mighty to Save,  "Savior He can move the mountain!" I began to weep I mean the tears were rolling down my cheeks! Remember I told you He gets to me in song, I love to worship its one of my favorite things. At that moment though all I could worship with was my tears! Thank You Lord that you know my heart! He truly can move this mountain in front of us! He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and provides our needs everyday! Adoption is HIS plan so I know HE will be the one to bring us through it each step of the way. From getting things organized and straight at home, to the finances, and even more waiting, and the travel and finally holding our girl in our arms, and bringing her home to her forever family and our friends to share Jesus with her everyday!!! So I ask this Lord, PLEASE move this mountain! Jesus be our guide every step of the way!!! We will not go where You do not lead!!! Still waiting to fall but praying He just keeps holding on tight to me and my family!! He indeed IS Mighty To SAVE!!!

Oh one other thing, Picked up Max Lucado's book Fearless, cannot wait to read it. I am sure it will help calm all my fears and get them out of the way so that The Father will have my whole attention and heart. "Holy Is The Lord, God Almighty!" Praising Him always!!!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Signs of Hope

God makes me laugh out loud sometimes! He just brings me such joy when I am not expecting it. Just when I get down He reminds me He is in complete control. Remember earlier this week I requested information about the Waiting Child program from China? Well that was Sunday afternoon. Monday came no response, Tuesday came no response. I began to wonder if this was what God really wanted for us to do, just wonder. So He just put upon my heart late Tuesday night to jump back into my bible again for the second time. So I did and He led me to Psalm 145-146 some specifc passages that just "stuck" with me are these.

Psalm 145:4-8
One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.
They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.
They will tell of the power of your awesome works
and I will proclaim your great deeds
They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
V.13b The Lord is faithful in all his promises
and loving toward all He has made
V19-20
He fullfills the desires of those who fear him:
he hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watched over all who love him

Psalm 146:5-9
Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob
whose hope is in the Lord his God
V6b the Lord who remains faithful forever
V7 He upholds the cause of the opressed
and gives food to the hungry.
V9 The Lord watches over the alien
and sustains the fatherless and the widow.

I read those passages and thought ok Lord I know you are going to take care of us. I understood all of them but wondered what exactly they had to do with us, except the last verse. That verse basically says He is watching over our daughter in China and will take care of her until we arrive. But the rest was just good stuff, not personal but good. But remember I said that God makes me laugh out loud sometimes? Normally that is followed by tears of joy. Well after I was done reading that and praying and thanking Him for His word. I decided to check my email for some reason. Now I don't normally check it this late but I felt I should ( a nudge perhaps?) I had checked around 7 and nothing was there. It was nearly 11 and I was so tired but I checked anyway. Guess what was in there? The email I was expecting about the WC program. Now I don't share this to make you think I am nuts I share this because I want you to see what God is doing in our lives and you can judge for yourself. The email was very uplifting and brought pure joy to my heart, and I laughed out loud because God was just reminding me of the passage He just sent me to in the bible. I have to say I had so much excitement in me just seeing the return name on the email I had butterflies.

So the next morning I went to work. For those of you who don't know I work with 2 year olds all day that I simply love! I was sharing this sweet information with two of my closest friends and they were happy for us. Remember this too, I serve a mighty God, the creator of the universe! He was not finished yet! He just shows off sometimes and I love it!!!!

I got home from work and my hubby was all smiles at me. We had been expecting some city income tax back and he had gotten it. But that was not why he was smiling. Hiding behind his back (he loves to tease me) was a white envelope. He asked playingly "How much do you love me?" I said "what is this about you know how much I love you" He said, "Bet I can make you smile" I told him "you just did" He said "smile bigger" I'm like ok I'll bite, "Go for it." He pulled the white envelope out and on the front was stamped our adoption agency. I was excited and smiling just like he said! I froze and said "Look what you have in your hands" He said "What?" I said look at your right hand (had the money in it) so he looked and then I said "Look in your left" (it was the adoption packet) I said "I do believe God is trying to give you a sign now" He looked back and forth at his hands and just smiled saying "Maybe so, you think?" I do believe so!! Now don't take that wrong it is not near enough money to get us started but it was "HOPE" God is working wonders! I sat down opened the packet and there peaking through that pearl blue window was the sweetest face of a sweet Chinese girl staring back at me. His signs and wonders are everywhere.

I read through the packet and was just excited. Nothing suprised me and nothing took me off guard. I even read through some more information about the WC program and it just got my heart beating fast. This indeed is the way we should go. God is in the details of all the intricate details of this adoption before time began! I will follow hard after Him. Please keep praying my faithful friends. There are so many things that have to fall into place before we can even begin this journey but my God is a mighty God and I have faith in HIM alone!  We are just getting started! I cannot wait to see what He reveals to us and unfolds in this wonderful plan of His. We don't know when the next step will start but indeed we will be waiting and praying and serving Him and will be anxious to see Him began. 

Oh one other thing I get that "God wants you to know thing on Facebook, This is what it said yesterday (same day as the packet and money came) On this day God wants you to know, that decision is only wishful thinking until you take that first irreversible step. You can tell yourself that you have already decided, that nothing now can stop you, but if that step backwards is so much safer than step forwards, what will hold you true to your path when the going gets tough? Sometimes, the right thing to do is to take that first irreversible step, the one after which you cannot go back. And now, for you, is one of those times.

One other thing the name we have picked out for our sweet ladybug means "Our Father's "HOPE and FAITHFULNESS :)

He is good ALL the time! Watch and see what The Lord will do! Please stay tuned :)
Matthew 19:26 "With Man this is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible!"

Sunday, April 4, 2010

God is preparing me!

So last night I was journaling to our China girl. Just telling her today was Easter and how Jesus died for us all despite our sins. He loves us that much! I was also listening to music and one of my very favorite songs came on from Steven Curtis Chapman. If you remember my earlier posts God speaks to me through music. The song was "When love takes you in." I have all the words writen in her journal at the very beginning. Its been like an anthem for her. I haven't listened to it in quite a awhile its just painful, it makes me cry and hurt not having her here already. I had to write some words of that song to her just to remind her we love her. There was another song too I wrote down a few lines from. SCC's What Now, he wrote about his third Chinese little girl Maria right before they adopted her. The verse goes:

I saw the face of Jesus,
In a little orphan girl,
She was standing in the corner,
On the other side of the world.
Then I heard the voice of Jesus,
Simply whisper to my soul,
Didn't you say you wanted to find me,
Here I am, here you go.

Powerful stuff and heartwrenching. I began to pray Lord if this is not what you want from us, take it away, take the desire, the longing, the hurt, the ladybugs away. I don't want to hurt like this especially if this is not Your will. I have always known it was His will but lately I wonder. Maybe I doubt, because we are SO far from beginning this. Nothing is in place, nothing at all. Its not where we need it, desire it or want it. So for us to move forward would be impossible. Ah but you forget I read the bible! There is a verse in there that speaks to my soul! Matthew 19:26 With man this is impossible. But with God ALL things are possible! I serve The Almighty where nothing is impossible. How come then I cannot wrap my head around it sometimes? I began to doubt. I fell asleep prepared for God to take it all away. Sure I would hurt but I do not want to go anywhere He does NOT lead. It would be wasteful and useless.


For some reason I remembered the ladybug that appeared on my window on Friday. One ladybug! If you remember Friday it was raining like crazy. Where did this one ladybug come from and why was it out in this weather? It was clinging to my window while going down the highway at 65 mph. See Ladybugs are significant in Chinese adoptions. I asked God along time ago to show me a ladybug when I was feeling sad or concerned ab this not happening and He has obliged me! This was my first ladybug of the season and she hung on tight!! Just like we are hanging on to God right now for direction. 

There are times when I am just not sure if or when or HOW this can ever happen. I pray and pray and wait and wait. We remain patiently (well as patient as I can be after 6 years! Don't pray for patience, this is what you get!) waiting for His next step. Prepared to step away if that is what He wants.

So this morning I awoke, to Easter Morning prepared to just love on The Father. That I did! I worshipped with all my heart. I laughed and cried with my church family. Praised Jesus sacrifice on the cross for my sinfulness, for my "hang-ups" as our Pastor worded it. Loved being there! Got loved on by my friends and I was content! No signs from God, He remainded quiet on that front.

We were headed for Easter dinner with family. I had told my husband the night before that if I felt God nudging that I would have this indepth discussion with my in-laws about all this adoption stuff. It had dawned on me the other day that we really hadn't discussed it with them completely. I felt God asking me to do that. My husband was fine with it. We were close to leaving and I mentioned the night before's conversation with him and he said, "No now is not the time." I was bummed but listened to him, almost completely. :) I had to mention on the way out to my mother and father in law that there was something important I wanted to discuss with them, when there was more time. It wasn't a hurry but I really wanted to share my heart with them. They were prepared to listen then, but I listened to my hubby and decided to wait. As I am about out the door, my sweet father in law says "I enjoy reading your blogs. Lots of stuff in there about Chinese adoption" I smiled kinda like a little joke between me and God. Told him that was what I wanted to talk with them about later. First I was giddy!! I didn't have this awkward moment of how do I begin this so important conversation, that engulfs my heart?  Second He reads my blog!!! I had no clue he did that!!! Happy Happy Happy as I walked out the door. IF that was not a sign from God I am not sure what is!! I want them to love her like we do and want this for her like we do! I want them to be part of her life just like the rest of our sweet ones. It was a very important moment to me! Thanks Dad!!! You made my heart soar!

We came home finished the garden from the day before we had started and went about the evening. I got on here earlier to check on our college kid to see if he had a wonderful Easter, and in the mean time, a nudge!!! You know from who by now right?! God said go to the adoption agency website and just look at a few things. So I did, with joy! I like following where He leads! Its better that way anyway!

The last few weeks it came to our attention that our sweet China girl just very well may be in the Waiting Child program whenever that happens we should possibly check that out. The Waiting Child program is a classification of "special needs" orphans. Now some of these kids may have a scar or birth mark or they may be older, therefore they are "special needs" some have more serious issues, some issues that could be difficult and some that could be easy to deal with. Our youngest son would be classified as special needs in China. Do you know hIm? Have you met him? He is far from special needs! He is a riot!! Its sort of basic some of these kids need medical attention, or some have gotten it but need follow up. They aren't "perfect" by China's standards. Guess what? neither am I!! She will fit right in here! No one in our home is perfect. So guess we are all  "special needs" as well!! :) So by God's nudging, I requested information on the Special needs program, from here on out referred to as "The Waiting Child program" these sweet ones are able to be adopted faster because of this program. I am not sure what will become of the info lets just say it is very likely that we will choose this program. I mean we have been waiting 6 years already. Average wait time for a healthy child is 43-46 months, average wait time for a Waiting child 12-24 months. They all need homes. I would love to bring more than one home but our finances will not allow that right now, so one at a time, for as many as God will allow. This is just a step we are not beginning yet, we just cannot do it at this time.

I also happened on a blog about chinese adoption that was telling stories of Waiting children and on the side it listed special needs. I clicked on it and it listed all the medical issues of some of the children in this Waiting Child (WC) program. I began to read. I know God is preparing me and my heart for this as I read these issues and began to pray and God showed me, you can deal with that one, and that one and that one and on and on and on. He has confidence in me! Is that a wonderful concept or what?!

Thank you Lord for the miracle of adoption! For adopting us into Your eternal family! I guess I have been adopted twice if you think about it. Once by my Heavenly Father, and once by my in-laws. I am not part of their "family" yet they adopted me so I can be part of their "family" :) Use us Father to glorify You! Let this play out in a way that honors You and You will receive all of the praise!!! Please hold onto our Ladybug and love her and comfort her and her Mommy wherever they may be. Let her know her forever family loves her so and You are with her. Bring her home to us soon! Sorry Blogger friends this is so long. God just worked on me today and I had to share! One more thing for Jesus,

I'm Amazed that You love me!
I'm Amazed that you care,
Through your precious blood I found pardon,
And my sins are washed there all washed away,
All my sins are washed away!

Thank you for Easter sweet Jesus!! He is Risen! It is finished the stone is rolled away!! Praise Him for all that He does in your life!