Profile Playlist by TT :o)

Profile Playlist by TT :o)

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This New Normal

Today is the first Saturday after school starting and I am sitting here in the quiet. There is a new "normal" in the house and I am still not sure how to deal with it. This week has been so busy that now in the quiet I am really feeling this new "normal" I know my heart is not suppose to be sad, God has a beautiful plan and He is unfolding it before our eyes, yet I long for a laugh, a hug and an I love you from my son. He has been so busy that he hasn't called much. I knew to expect that but still feels weird. The week went fine, but today, today when he is normally here, hanging out with us or doing family stuff, today is when its hard. I have a hundred things to do but yet I find myself just sitting here missing him. The night time is hard too, right before bed, I find myself going down to say good night and he is not there, so I text him. Don't always get a response which makes it a little unnerving but I know he is safe. He has made some new friends, and had some laughs, and even already yes had some disappointments, I reassured him of Jeremiah 29:11. God new this would come, and He already had something else in mind for him and it will be fine. I so wanted to hug him and protect him, but it is just the beginning of life's disappointments, that is why our hope is in The Lord! He is the only one who can bring us peace and the beauty that He has for us!! So for this week, I am sad, tears come and go, and I often just need his hugs. And I wonder since he loves to hug SO much, he always has, I think he came out of the womb huggging, will someone hug him? He so thrives on affection. It fuels him. So I just pray that The Lord will wrap him close and hug him when he needs it. Thank you Lord for this new "normal" please guard each of our steps so that we reflect you. I know it's hard but I am holding you to your promise, both for him and for me. You will never leave us nor forsake us! Thank you for Ernie and all the blessings you have for him and for him to share with others. Please protect my son like you protected yours. In my Saviors name I ask these things!! Love you!! Love Ernie and I thank you for all you are!! Wipe my tears, and his if he has any. Still getting use to this weird new "normal" I know hundreds of moms all over the world are experiencing the same thing, so why do I feel so alone? I just think of him laughing on the phone the other night and I know he is where he should be. That is my reassurance and the joy that God brings to my heart. He is serving Him and loving every minute of it, just like I knew he would!

In less than a week...

I have been running around all week trying to finish some important things up, and as I sit here I am suddenly reminded how my life will change in less than a week. You see in less than a week, we will know longer be a family of five under one roof, in less than a week, when trying to figure out where to sit when we all pile in the van, there will be no fighting over who gets the captains chairs, in less than a week, there will be no loud laughing and wrestling noises rising slowly and loudly up the basement stairs, in less than a week, my heart will be carried off to another town in another place to live. In less than a week, when we go to dinner it will be less wait because there is less people to share with, in less than a week, my baby will no longer be my baby, but a college man, not needing me in the same capacity. In less than a week, my whole life will change.

I have been preparing for this all summer long, but yet I sit here with tears streaming wondering, Did I teach him all he needs to know to survive with kindness and love in this cruel world? He is ready! With plans in his head and shoes in his feet, he will not travel down the wrong way street (Dr. Seuss) He will move mountains, with The Lord, He will bring people close to The Lord. I know he will share all he is and all God has taught him with others. See in less than a week, Ernie will be headed down to Southwest Baptist University to college because he is following what The Lord has called him to do, our son when finished with all his classes and all his learning and growing and loving and knowing will be serving. Serving The Lord as a Youth Pastor! How could I ask for more?! Will he still need me? Yes he will. Will he still want to share with me? I am sure he will. Will he miss me? I pray he will. Will he enjoy every minute of loving on The Lord? You bet he will!!

Still its hard, watching your baby grow into this tall handsome man. His feet are big and his dreams are too. His heart is full of the gospel and he wants to share it with everyone. I am scared, scared his heart will be broken, scared he will be lonely, and feel unloved, scared that he will wonder if he made the right choice. Then I am reassured by his own words, Mom, he says, I would not be doing this if I didn't think for one minute that God would leave me alone in this. Hasn't left me yet has he? I look up into those beautiful eyes of his and say, No, no son he hasn't. I still see the little fingers holding tight to my hand and the sweet jumps up into my lap to hug my neck tight and say mama I love ya! Those little toes that use to curl around my feet when he wanted to stand on them. The baby kisses, the sweet sweet baby kisses and giggles. But that is not who stands before me now. The person that stands before me now, is a confident, bright, intelligent, loving sweet sweet man. The man God has made him and saved him to be, simply breathtaking. My heart will yearn for him and will pray for him and will get excited for him. In less than a week, my baby will be a man! Will you pray for him? I will cry and be blessed just like I have every single day I have got to call him my son. In less than a week, my life will change forever.

Hot Summer Days

This week our kids have been at Youth Camp. We had this week planned of all we wanted to do (minus work, which we both still had to do), but the heat has overtaken our town and it is just SO hot out that we just want to sit in some air conditioning after being in and out of the heat all day. Needless to say our week alone has not produced much excitement. We have talked a lot! Which is hard sometimes with three kids running everywhere, ya don't always get a chance to breathe sometimes let alone talk. We have been shocked at the news lately with all the celebrities dying, not that we were attached to any of these people, but to watch the country change all their focus onto this is shocking. I am a believer that God is first and He is to be our only focus that takes us away from everyday life. Just shocked I guess!

We did have a wonderful conversation about China! My husband and I so desire to add to our family through adoption from China! God has promised us this years ago. First a whisper, then a nudge and then an out right verbal command! ASK me about it sometime, its remarkable! So we prayed and talked with our then middle school and elementary age children (now whom all our in High School or going off to college) and asked them what they thought. There was NO hesitation they would LOVE to have a baby sister from China, and to this day they feel the exact same way! We pray and we wait and we watch, but still God says "Be Still and Know That I am God! I have all this prepared for you." Trust me I have tried to jump ahead of His plans but He stops me in my tracks. So the other day during our conversation (my hubby and I) he asked me this? "Don't you think it's about time to get things in order so we can bring our daughter home from China?" Normally he just waits on me to get things going, but I was so relieved to know he was thinking about this and really wanted me to be happy and headed towards that long wait of adoption. I have always told my friends who are in the middle of the waiting process to go get their daughter from China, this, I am praying for you that your days are short but know this I would give ANYTHING to be in the middle of that waiting with you, instead of wondering when will we ever begin. So my hubby is ready for a plan!! You don't understand he procrastinates about everything and never really plans much, so for him to be ready for a plan makes my heart soar!!! So this weekend when the kids come home we are going to sit down as a family (because they are old enough now to do this with us) and plan our "plan". We are praying that God will be in it and He will guide are steps, that THIS will be the time He has in His wisdom. Will it be easy? Absolutely NOT!! Will we sacrifice? You bet! Will it be worth it? Oh to hold her picture in our hand and begin the wait....Absolutely!! Our daughter is waiting not yet born I know, but nevertheless, she is Waiting for her forever family to bring her home and share the love of Jesus with her, and who knows how many she will be able to share it with as well! We want to leave a legacy! Keep you posted! Off to get my kiddo's this afternoon and give them a great big Mom hug and tell them how much I LOVE them and miss them!!

Love, Me

Hello Everyone

Let Me introduce myself, I am wife to a great husband, Bud and a mom to three great kids, Ernie Vickie and Tommy. We have had our share of blessings and frustrations but in the midst of all this God has always been there to guide our steps. I am so thankful for each blessing that he pours out on me, and dare I say for each trial that he puts us in and brings us through. I love my family more than anything second only to The Lord himself. I just wanted a place to share all their accomplisments and all the things God has in store for them, and for us. So follow along and see what great things He has for us! Welcome to my blog, oh and did i mention, someday, in His perfect timing and wisdom, only He knows the hour and day, He will add to our family through adoption of a sweet little girl from China. Praying sooner rather than later. Come along on our journey called Life!