Update and a fundraiser

It has been a crazy summer. Lots going on and some things I am not at liberty to discuss. Let's just say God has been busy and in the works of making His Will known. We were able to get our Dossier to China (DTC) on July 2nd right before we made a cross country trip to see our son who is serving this great country. One week later our Dossier was logged into the system. (LID) then we got an email from our agency about a week later saying it is "In Translation". And that my friends is where we sit. We have been LID for 50 days now and we are anxiously waiting for our next step to have our LOA. An LOA is the Letter of Acceptance the last paperwork if you will saying that Ch*na says YES she is your daughter forever. There are a few more steps after that to get her home but that LOA is our YES for sure!!

We are desperate for our daughter to be home! But we are also raising funds to get her here. Because my friends adoption is expensive and it is a hard journey! But we would not trade it for anything! We have also gotten an update while we've been waiting. Our little Ladybug has not grown much. She is about the size of a one year old. She is 28 months old now so she is TINY!! Her little feet are a mere 4 inches long!! Is that tiny or what!!



I thought you might enjoy what we like to call  her "Karate stance" We are crazy smitten about this girl!!

And this one we think is her "I just woke up from a nap face"

She loves her blocks

We cannot wait to get her home!

In the mean time this is what we have been up to. Please join us in bringing her home!Our Tshirt fundraiser is in full swing. I am so excited about this fundraiser. We have put our hand and hearts into it to make it perfect!! This is very special to me in many ways. I do not have much family left so God brings people into my life to fill the gap. We like to call them our OHANA! They are not blodd but they define the word FAMILY perfectly!! I am sure you all have someone in your life that isn't related to but who is more like family than anything. They are your Ohana. Abby is part of our family now, not by blood but by LOVE! I feel that is how God makes OHANA'S, by LOVE! There are a LOT of you out there that we consider our OHANA. I really hope you know who you are. Please join us in this fundraiser, yes to help raise money, but also to bring awareness to how God makes a family, an Ohana, by LOVE!! Excited to share this with you!!

Here are the details: These t-shirts are really soft shirts.

If you are between sizes please order the next size up to be safe.

All shirts are $22.00 shipped. $2.00 more for 2XL & 3XL

If you are local then there is no shipping charge, which makes the shirt $20.00 (plus $2.00 extra for bigger sizes)

Sizes available

Adult sizes Small, Medium, Large X-Large, 2XL and 3XL

Colors Dark Heather Grey or Berry

Youth sizes Small, Medium, Large

Colors Dark Heather Grey or Berry

Toddler sizes 2T, 3T, and 4T

Colors Black or Pink

We do have to meet a very minimum amount to place each order in each category. So once those minimums are met I will place the order and your shirts should arrive to me in 7-10 days and I will sort and ship them immediately.

You may pay by check or by our Paypal or cash is always welcome if you are local. Let me know the sizes and colors you need, your address, if you aren't local and I will get you the information for payment. You can also make a donation through our Gofundme page. The link is on the side of this blog!

Thank you SO much for helping us bring Abby home!!!!

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

This Adoption journey just keeps getting better

For those of you just joining us. Let me tell you our story rather quickly. We are a family of 5 almost 6 that God set us on this journey called adoption 11 years ago now! We watched and waited and prayed and watched some more as we began to fall more in love with those sweet Asian faces with the almond shaped eyes. There is a lot to all those years of waiting but just know God prepared us in every single way possible to begin the journey we are on now. He built up our faith SO strong that when He finally said "GO" this past summer we did not hesitate one bit! There have been some road blocks along the way even since He said "GO" but we just kept trusting Him to get us through. Some were to the point of "this journey may not be seen till through the end" BUT GOD! Oh when those words appear in scripture you know big things are going to happen!! 

We trusted and we watched Him show off time and time again!! When others said: 

"you aren't worthy enough,"

"this will not happen,"

"be prepared for a no"

"are you sure you really want to do this?"

"I just don't understand why you are doing this."

"aren't you too old?"

"it's really expensive."

"you already have kids"

and the list goes on.... we said God called us to this! Told us with His own voice and reaffirmed it over and over again for 10 years, THIS is exactly what we are supposed to be doing! But still the hurdles came and the mountains looked steep from where we were. We just kept knocking on those doors and jumping hurdles and asking God to move the mountains if this was His Will. Time after time He did just that!! Do we still have a ways to go? Why Yes! But do we trust Him with everything He has called us too? ABSOLUTELY! This journey was never about us or even or sweetheart waiting for her family. Oh we like to think it is, but it is NOT! It is about our faith and our walk and the greatness and powerfulness of a call on our lives. IT is and always will BE about HIM!!! So as another No gets put into a YES in His book we praise Him once again!!

Today after waiting a mere 30 days, others just prior to us have waited 60-90+ days we were told YES!! All of our paperwork went to USCIS (United States Citizen and Immigration Services) to see whether we were a worthy family to adopt an international child. Let me tell you, our past is not perfect in the worlds eyes. We fought tooth and nail to be honest and try and divulge everything we could. There was one thing forgotten and finding that out before we got all the way to immigration both freed us and frightened us. Because that forgetting could have been our NO! And that NO could have been the end to our journey. Sounds simple to fix but it is NOT when you are looked at with a fine tooth comb through a looking glass. Again we are SO thankful that God's answer continues to be YES!

There is always extra paperwork to send to backup what the mistake was. I was tired of paperwork, tired of being exposed, tired of all the judgement. BUT I would do whatever it took to bring our daughter home. So we asked God that if it was His will, that this process go fast and we would loved to be approved and would LOVE not to have to send MORE paperwork in to explain even more of what they already had in our packet. My Spirit was calm as I prayed but as the wait got closer to a possible time that our file would be assigned to an officer I began to doubt. I became afraid and began to worry. Just this morning I asked God to forgive me for all that and He reassured me with one of my favorite bible verses! Jeremiah 29:11 our adoption verse I like to call it!

I had peace after that. It was like He just smiled GREAT BIG at me! I finished up my quiet time and went about my day. Bud had just got home from work and we were talking. I got a ping on my phone that I had an email. Earlier in the morning every ping made me nervous, but this one I didn't think anything about. I hit the button and there in my inbox was the words NBC HAGUE (the dept that handles adoptions for immigration) I clicked on it without even thinking and these words appeared.....Good morning. Your file was approved yesterday!! Have a great day!!! YESTERDAY!! WHAT!!! I expected, "Your file has not been assigned an officer yet, or we need more paperwork or blah blah blah blah blah, but the words APPROVED totally did not register. It took me a whole second to start screaming my husbands name!! He was 5 feet away from me not even kidding! I just kept repeating his name in this sing son voice over and over again!! Ok maybe I was screaming with excitement! He comes over and says what? I said LOOK!!!! And began to JUMP up and DOWN laughing and praising Our GOOD GOD who always has a YES when we follow His plans!! I have been on cloud 9 all day long! It was not just a, "this MIGHT be something you will have a yes on in the FUTURE." It was an ABSOLUTE YES you ARE qualified and you ARE worthy to be a parent to an international adopted child! We just kept praying that their Yes would line up with God's YES and the two collided today!!!! 

We are so thankful that His plans are far greater than our plans! We know what Satan intended for evil, God intended for good!! We will trust Him on this journey as we are one step closer to our baby girl!! This is a huge leap forward and in a matter of weeks our dossier will be ready to send to Ch*na! But that my friends is another blog!! Please continue to pray for our family and for our little girl. She has had a few of her friends adopted in the last few months and I am sure she might be wondering where her family is. We still have tons of funds to raise so stay tuned for fundraisers and ways you can help us bring her home! We are so thankful for each of you following along and praying for us on this journey and for those who have truly stepped up and are walking this journey with us!! It is not easy but it'll all be worth it when we get to hold our sweetheart in our arms and tell her how Jesus got her home!! We love you Ladybug!! Momma and Daddy are coming just hold on!! Please continue to follow along as we give God all the praise and glory and watch this journey unfold. All for Your Glory Lord!! All for Your Glory!!

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

Updates galore!

Hello friends!
Thanks for sticking with us. Is there maybe 2 or 3 out there still following along? If not I will just keep this going to document our journey. First and foremost so thankful God is in control of this crazy journey of life. He sure knows how to throw in the twists and turns. We just hang on for dear life and watch Him work!

We have gotten 2 updates on our little Ladybug since last time I blogged. One right before Valentines day saying she was doing well and has only grown a smidgen. She is definitely our littlest so far!

We finished up our Home study and began working on some fundraisers and then it was time to ask for a cake to be sent to Abby for her 2nd birthday! Now for those of you who do not know, when you ask for a cake to be sent you do not get to choose the cake. You are just very grateful that they get them a cake. We have an amazing contact lady through our agency that does a beautiful job getting packages to our sweetheart. This is our first one sent. We simply just asked for a cake. They send normally 5 pics back to you from the party, we got 15! Yes we were in heaven watching our youngest enjoy cake! And she LOVED it! Not even exaggerating! We giggled at the size of the cake compared to her!

 It is so very pretty. They have a way of making cakes there that just stun you! I think it is the prettiest toddler birthday cake I have ever seen! I do not know what it says on top. Maybe Happy birthday and her Ch*nese name. But here is the picture we just giggled at....

It is bigger than she is! Not even kidding! But the girl loves that cake and put it away! Course she shared with her friends too!

Love how she is licking her fork. Take a look at that plate. She had a pretty good size piece when she started. I think Vickie might have to have her as her taste tester when she gets home! We truly enjoyed celebrating in this manner. We also celebrated here at home, praying that she knew she was loved!

We cannot wait for her next birthday to celebrate all together! We are crazy about our little sweetheart! We have been asking God to protect her and prepare her for our family and also asking for a little bit of joy in these updates. 

Our family has been through some tough changes the last few months. One son is off to start his career and calling on his life. It has been a very tough few months but we are so proud of him!!! Very thankful that God is protecting him in this endeavor. I would love to share with all of you about this but for his safety I cannot do that here. Just please pray for our youngest and his new journey. If you knew what he was doing you would be just as proud of him as we are! 

So as our family adjusts to changes we began more paperwork for the adoption. We have sent off our I800A which is asking our government for permission to find our family suitable to adopt our sweetheart. We would love your prayers in this part of the journey. This is a lot of waiting and praying in this stage on our part. We want them to approve us and we want them to do it quickly because there are always deadlines looming. An important one is coming up for us. Please keep our family in your prayers. In the mean time we are gathering our last bit of paperwork (Thank you JESUS! Feels as if we have been paper pregnant FOREVER.) to complete our Dossier (the 13 pieces of very important paper that will be sent to Ch*na to capture exactly what our family looks like) as we wait on the I800A approval. Stay tuned this ride just keeps going! 

While we wait, it was time to ask for another update on our sweetheart since that one back in February. So while sending off our I800A we also asked our agency to update us on how our Ladybug was doing! They are great about doing this. They got in touch with her SWI (Social Welfare Institution) or you would call it her orphanage, to answer another round of questions from her family! I love asking these questions because they give us insight into her daily life and her personality. So we began the wait for a response. YES more than half of the adoption you spend waiting on one thing our another. These waits are normally pretty good. They did not disappoint! This time 2 more pics and a video!!! We were so excited about the video! But the pics stole our heart!

Here she is working a puzzle. We got video of this and let me tell you what. this girl is SO smart!! They keep telling us she is just the sweetest little thing. I see glimpses of that here and there. But this, this right here did me in!

This is the first time we have seen her smile! Oh how it melts my heart! I just get giddy every time I look at it! Our prayers have been answered in this one single picture of our little Ladybug! She is still the tiniest thing but oh how we are crazy about her!! Asking God to do mighty things to get her home and then through her life! Praying we are worthy enough to be her parents! 

List of prayer requests for us:

Please pray for our family if we come to mind. 

Pray for Abby and her heart to be prepared for us. 

Pray for Tommy and his safety on the journey God has him on. 

Pray that the I800A approval goes smooth and quickly

Pray that God will continue to show up and show off in every area of this adoption and our lives!!

Pray for His continued provision through out this journey. (there is a link to our gofundme page on the side of this blog if you feel led to share with anyone)

Pray that we will not loose sight of His face during all of this.

Thank you for following along with us on this journey (if you are still with us thank you SO much). I promise to update more often! We love that you are watching God unfold His plan for us. His ways are not our ways and His ways are better than we could every hope for our imagine!

Trusting the One who is writing this story!

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

This IS The Year!!!! $20 for 20!

Hello friends!
2015 is upon us and we are SO excited that this is the year we are fulfilling God's calling on our lives and bringing home our little girl!! Abby is waiting for us in Southern China and we cannot wait to go get her!! Here is how you can help! We are asking 250 people to donate a one time $20.00 donation in the next 20 days to our Gofundme account account located on the side of this blog! After every 25 donations made I will do a drawing. The chosen winner will receive a great prize. I have some wonderful friends who have offered to donate lots of different items. I will keep you posted here on each milestone and what the next prize will be. The first prize we will give away will be a few scentsy bars!! If you love these like I do then this is an awesome prize!!!! You will find all the info here and on our fb page. Thank you so much for your generous donations!! Don't forget to share and stay tuned!!!

Lots of love and Ladybugs! :)

We have a daughter! Part 2

After getting our girls file in our email and waiting patiently for Bud to get home, we opened up what would change our lives!

We began looking over her file and talking and praying. Our girl was in jeopardy of her file being sent back to Ch*na so we needed to make a decision on all this information given whether God was telling us she was ours or not. The file could be sent back any day and without putting it on hold or locking it in there may be no way to find her again. So we took the weekend, seemed like a very long weekend to me, to decide. At first we discussed in full but then we just needed time on our own and then together and then again on our own to see what God was saying. By Sunday night I was sure she was ours. My beloved however needed more time. He left for work Sunday afternoon and my heart was heavy. I just pleaded with God to speak to his heart and make it clear what His Will was. I truly felt the spiritual battle going on in my heart. Bud promised to pray and just seek what it was the Lord was telling him. I gave him the time needed.

Monday morning rolled around and I needed to get some professionals to take a look at her file. I needed to know what we would be dealing with if/when she was ours. So I got on the phone to specialists and then close friends who had friends with medical knowledge. The weird thing was I didn't care to much about what they said in making this decision. I knew in my heart she was ours. I did care however for their opinion on how we would take care of her when we got home. People always told me that once you know the child is yours, the special need won't matter, and won't be what you see. They were right!!

I got a few answers from some medical personnel, but the info I needed from our local children's hospital was not forthcoming quickly. We knew we were in a time crunch to decide but we were trusting God in all this. Bud was still undecided, lots of things on his heart. By Tuesday morning I just said "Honey what is God telling you?" He asked what it took to lock her file in, I said we needed to decide first if she was ours! That was his way of saying, "Honey I think she is ours." So we called our agency and said please put her on hold while we gather (even more) paperwork for her LOI (Letter of Intent) to adopt her. The clock began to tick quickly we had 72 hours to be sure AND to gather all this paperwork.

Being that we are towards the end of our Home Study there was a few things left to do that we hadn't done yet because of timing. But now all of a sudden those things needed to be done within 72 hours. One place we needed copies of something, their computers were down. Then we called our dr's to see if we could get our medical's and found out (without a prior letter from them) that the practice had disbursed! Just as we thought "OK, maybe she isn't ours" our agency called and said that since we were healthy adults that we just needed a letter signed saying that and could get the medical later, as well as a letter to replace the one needed from the place that the computers were down. Just like that God made the impossible POSSIBLE! Oh how he loves us! I stayed up till late that night filling out these pages of paperwork in order NOT to loose our daughter. Sent them to our Case Worker and fell into bed tired but at peace. I would have to wait till the next morning to see if I had done it right!

Email in my inbox Wednesday morning said "We have sent off your LOI for this sweet little girl" now to wait for PA (pre-approval) from Ch*na saying it was OK to move forward with this adoption and that yes indeed she was our girl! Agency said 2 weeks, so we settled in! We weren't in a hurry but knew waiting was just part of this whole thing. You always seem to hurry and wait. We had another Home Study visit the following Wednesday and spoke with our Social Worker about the waiting. She had recently adopted and said it took the full two weeks to get her PA back, and not to be anxious. I thanked her for her knowledge and her help along the way! We truly are blessed with an amazing Agency and Social Worker for our Home Study! Many of you who have adopted in our area have had the same Social Worker so you know what I mean! She is simply heaven sent! Grateful for her!

The following day I was at a sweet friends house doing what I love to do every week, and Bud was at work driving his long drive home. He happened to call me and asked if I had gotten an email. I said "No, should I've?" He said "You better check your email then call me back." I said "OK? is everything alright?" He said "Just go check!" So I hung up but before I could get to the email I had a voice mail. I clicked on the voice mail and the sweetest voice on the other end of the line said words that would change my life forever and bring me to my knees in tears and praise! My caseworker said "Hi Tammy I just wanted to let you know we have received your PA from Ch*na!! Congratulations you have a daughter!!

I was in tears, I could NOT stop crying! I had prayed for this day for 10 years and just like that they said YES! We knew God had already said Yes but we had to get through her country's list of qualifications! I called Bud (still in tears) he couldn't read his email because he was driving. So of course when he answered he was concerned. He asked, "What happened? Is everything ok?" with anxiety in his voice I could tell he was concerned. I mustered the words through tears and sobs "We have PA!" and the reaction from my husband was priceless! His step of faith just one week prior allowing God to do whatever it was He asked of us, came back with a "THANK YOU JESUS" from my husbands lips as loud as he could! He was so happy and giddy and just kept repeating those words. See what happens when you follow His will! He was not able to be home that night but we celebrated with joy here and Chinese food!!

So without further anticipation and with much joy, may I introduce you to the newest member of our family! Waiting for us to finish all this paperwork and to bring her home!! Our second daughter and our fourth child......Our Ladybug Abigail Hannah.......

 Abby!!!!

The journey has only begun! Please join us in celebrating our good God and all He has planned for us! Praise Him with us for our littlest sweetheart!! We are smitten! We have found out she LOVES music and is very shy and quiet. Once she gets to know you they tell us she is a happy girl. She loves it when people smile and doesn't like it when people are serious! I can live with that! We are a pretty happy family! Sounds to me like she is going to fit right in!!! And Abby makes 6 Tatertots!!! We would love it if you would walk this journey with us! Oh what great things The Lord has planned! Don't miss it!! 

Totally blessed and feeling very thankful!

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

We have a daughter! Part 1

Oh friends, what joy fills my heart!! We have a daughter and she is beautiful!! The Lord works in wonderful ways. We had not planned to really look at kiddo's until we were further along in this process of adoption but God had other plans!! There have been a few kiddo's files we looked at, and one we even asked more about but God just told us to wait. So here is the story.

One Friday afternoon I was looking at an advocacy website for kiddo's from Ch*na. This page took me to our agency's website not by surprise. I was there to check out this little one they were advocating for, not for my interest but so I could share her with others. She was not someone who we felt comfortable moving forward with. While I was there, I did my normal, scroll through the waiting kids, just to see, maybe if our daughter was there. So I kept scrolling, little eyes staring back at me, but God didn't give me any inclination that any of them were ours. I got to one little one who "fit" (for lack of a better word) into the broad spectrum we had given our agency that we would adopt. I clicked on her link that had a video and the hair on my arms stood up! I thought to myself, surely she has a family matched with her. I just non nonchalantly emailed our agency just to see. What you don't know is that we never just email the agency. When there is a child we think possibly might be ours, my hubby and I stop and talk and pray and seek God's will. So this was totally out of the norm. I didn't even mention her to Bud till later.

So the email was sent asking if she had a family that had her locked in or even on hold. I just knew with her background SOMEONE had to have said, "Yes" to her already. Not only had no one said yes, but no one was interested. I thought hmmmm.... our awesome Social worker replied with this info PLUS her file! A file contains pertinent information about a child such as health info, daily routine, what they like, how many times they've been to the Dr, their special need, where they were found, as well as what province and their birth date.

I was visiting a friend that day so I would've normally jumped all over this. I was patient and waited till I got home and called the hubby. One other thing we do is once we get a file we look at it together and pray over it. He was working that night so I had to wait for him to get home later in the evening. It was killing me to wait. I did call him and tell him what I had done. He was very calm and said OK we will look at it when I get home. I was so giddy. I could hardly wait. I mean there it was in my inbox just begging me to look at it. I however honored my hubby with great reluctance and waited!!

This is a long story so I will do it in two parts......

to be continued....

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

Our very first Adoption fundraiser!

OK friends here is the latest update on our adoption! We are knee deep in Home study paperwork. Lots of questions and tons more answers. But we are SO excited!! We are having our very first fundraiser and would love your support and prayers!!

God is so so good and loves us more than we can ever ask or imagine!! He is answering prayers we have been praying for 10 years and opening up doors that were closed! ALL in His plans and timing!Praying Jeremiah 29:11 over this whole adoption! 

Here is the link to our fundraiser! And Abby makes 6!

We are so excited to watch God unfold His plans for us! Ready for the ride of our lives!

Lots of love and Ladybugs! :)

The Journey Begins!!!!!!!

Boy have I been waiting to say that for a LONG time!

I can announce with such joy and happiness that our adoption journey has begun! I have been praying and asking God for a long time to open doors and show us His Will to lead us down His path! He never ceases to amaze me! Things didn't go as we thought they should in the beginning because...well God didn't want us to go that way. So after prayer and much investigation we have followed His path and are moving full steam ahead with this adoption!!

I love that after 10 years of waiting and praying and watching. God picks the perfect time to say "Go"! This journey will not be without turmoil or frustration. But I know that the end will far outweigh everything we will face in the journey! We literally will hold His promises in our arms! To say we are excited is an understatement! We are over the moon!!

Our application has been sent in, a few fee's have been paid. We have done some preliminary paperwork and it gives us great joy to share with you an adoption term we have learned over the years because now our Homestudy begins! We are.....

which simply means we will begin gathering all the paperwork necessary (and its a LOT) to bring our daughter home to her forever family! God has not revealed who she is to us yet but we will be sure to share that with you as soon as we are able to. There are rules and all! But we are so giddy rules aren't bothering us at all! So come along with us on our journey to bring home our Ladybug!! We are in love with her already and do not even know her yet!! So thankful again for God's timing! Pay attention you never know what He may be asking you to do! No matter what it is just "Do Something!"

Join us on our journey as "baby" makes 6!

Lots of Love and Ladybugs!! :)

The Tarter Family! 

A Mom's Perspective.....Happy 21st Birthday Princess

Today 21 years ago our prayers were answered. After having a sweet baby boy just 2 years and one week prior we prayed that this gift God was giving us was a beautiful bundle of pink joy. God did not disappoint! While lying there on that OR table and Bud excitingly squeezing my hand and wiping my face, we waited expectantly to hear boy or girl? When the doctor said "Congratulations it's a girl!" We sobbed! I truly think our hearts were so full of joy it just spilled out of our eyes! Daddy had his little Princess and I, I had my prayers answered and this perfect pink sweetheart lying in my arms!

Now if you know our girl, that term "sweetheart" still fits her to this day! She really is a very sweet person! So full of love and kindness. She goes out of her way to help anyone. Her and Ernie when they were little were the best of friends! He used to climb up on her crib and just watch her. She would smile that big beautiful smile of hers right back at him, as if to say he would be her life long friend and he would gaze at her with that "I will always protect you" look. And that he still does! She hates it sometimes, but that is just part of being a big brother. She too was equally blessed when she got to become the big sister. She adores her little brother and they too truly are the best of friends!

I remember her being so tiny compared to our boys, both nearly 10 lbs respectively. She was this little tiny 8lb baby girl (yes I know that is an average baby size, but when you have two that are nearly 2 lbs more than she, she looked tiny). What a different dynamic she has brought to our family. At first it was pink ruffles and sweet girl smells, then it turned it to tons of baby dolls and stuffed animals and pink! Lots of pink! That was her favorite color growing up! She loved flowers and bows and ribbons in her hair. Bud used to do her hair in a pony tail (he left the pigtails to me :) ) and she would always ask for a barrette or a ribbon in her hair. Then when she got in school it was Barbie's and Girl Scouts. There she had her heart filled with love because there she met her life long friend Michelle! And her heart was broken when she had to witness the awful torment of cancer taking away a friend she adored. To this day she still thinks of Hayley and talks about her often. Our girl at a young age figured out how sacred life really is. Her heart and her actions still reflect that today.

As middle school came around there was the girl drama that she always hated. She never wanted to be a part of that but somehow got dragged in just a bit. She managed to right herself and pull away from that and I truly think the youth group at church helped with that immensely! Thanks to an awesome Pastor and some wonderful friends, and leaders, our girl fell crazy in love with Jesus even more than she already was! High School came and she tried something new, a little hesitant but she tried Color Guard. Boy did she ever come out of her shell! She loved it! AND she was really good at it! There was still the girl drama and after every long season of both Color/Winter Guard she would say she was done. We would just give her the down time she needed and when try-outs came back around (which was only a few weeks after each season) she would go at it again because she "missed it". Well of course she missed it, she was meant to do it! By her Senior year she had it down pat and I had by that time become a seasoned Marching Band Mom. I had 3 kids in that band at one point. I wore that name very proudly. Not only did she do band but she was also in the choir as well during High School. Music was just in her bones!

While in High School she also found another passion. One that would carry her way beyond the walls of school. She fell in love with making pastries. From the age of 16 she has taken classes upon classes and is still honing the process but it just comes naturally to her. It's as if God gave her those hands to bake and make people happy! She can also cook too. When you go to Culinary college they make sure you can not only bake if that is the field you are going in, but that you can make a meal as well. She already had that advantage, she just got better at it.

I am so very proud of the Woman she is becoming. That sweet little bundle of pink placed in her Daddy's and my arms 21 years ago has touched a lot of lives! So today on her birthday, as always she is trying to make a difference. She has a heart for the orphan and she wants to help end slavery in her generation. If you see her today she is sporting a giant red X on her hand to join others around the globe in the "End it movement" that slavery needs to stop now! God really has something going on in our sweet girls heart. We are just privileged to sit back and watch His plan unfold in our Princess' life! There is more in her heart as well. She is talking about mission trips and possibly joining us on our journey to China to adopt. God only knows what is in store for her! We are just thanking Him for the gift of our daughter!!

Happy 21st birthday Princess Vickie! Your Daddy and I will always be proud that you are ours! We will always "Love you more"!


Blessings and Ladybugs! :)

The Makings of a Mother....Happy Birthday Ernie!

Today is a very special day in our family. 23 years ago today God made us a family. 23 years ago He laid this perfect 9 lb 15 oz baby boy in my arms after having an emergency C-Section. Our lives were forever changed. We were no longer just a married couple but we were parents, flesh and blood laid right there in our arms! To say I was scared and worried was an understatement. Being 17 had enough worries of its own, but for God to entrust me with this little miracle was beyond imagination. My life up to then (besides the time with my husband) was a mess. There was not a good role model in my life for raising a normal baby. I had been tormented most of my pregnancy about how young I was and what a mistake this was and on and on and on. Laying that baby in my arms I knew that none of that mattered. God had granted us a miracle! This not only was a gift from heaven but a part of each one of our hearts walking around outside my body. He was US together! It was tough the first few years. Had I known then what I know now I would have done a few things different. Not much, but a few! God knew what He was doing when He gave us this sweet boy to love! And love we did! Because we didn't know how to DO anything else. We adored each other so therefore of course we adored that sweet baby boy!

Looking back over the years to all the things he has done. Our son is such a blessing to us. From the 3 am feedings to the snuggles on the couch with Daddy after work. From bringing him home a baby sister (which he adored) and then a baby brother to that first day of Kindergarten. He was always on loan to us, only for a little while. He always belonged to God! We know that now, back then not so much!

As he has grown into a man now I think back of all the things I miss. Swinging on the swing set, hot wheel tracks and big truck races in the mud, snuggling to read books after bubble baths. Learning to read and write and count and sing. Learning to make friends and how to respond to them when they weren't so nice. Birthday balloons, and hot fudge sundaes. Cookies and milk! (The boy is still a cookie monster!) Middle school snuck in there and my little boy started changing. He became quiet and reserved and contemplated a lot! You could always see his mind working. The kid was smart as can be! There was always something going on in that head of his. Baseball came and went, we found out although he didn't like playing all that much, the boy could run! He had stamina! That worked right into playing a Tuba. The first time I saw my little guy holding that giant instrument I thought he would crash under the weight of it. He grew into it and was amazing with it! High School brought Marching Band, and Robotics and girls and confusion. Through all of that He kept his heart on Jesus! See Jesus was always a part of His life and I think the real reason he made it through High School pretty much unscathed.

Off to college he went, Southwest Baptist University! I was scared out of my mind. I must have blinked because all I could see was that little boy walking into Kindergarten but yet there stood  a man where that boy used to stand. Life has not always been easy on Ernie but one thing I know for sure. He has a heart of gold, loves his family, and more importantly loves His Savior!

So for that shy 17 year old girl standing by the man that she loved and God blessing her with a sweet baby boy. I can pretty much say that is where the calling on my life began. I may not have known it but God ALWAYS meant for me to be a Mom. I may not always be the best at it, because I make mistakes every.single.day! I do know that God called me to this for a reason. I know that God brought the two of us together and kept us together nearly 25 years because HE has a better plan for us than we can imagine! I am SO thankful to God for giving us our son Ernie! We love him more than our hearts could ever say! Yes God knew exactly what He was doing laying that sweet baby boy in our arms all those years ago!

Happy 23rd birthday Ernest Charles James! Your Mom and Dad have adored every single minute of our lives with you. We wouldn't trade one moment for anything in the world! We love you more!!!


Lots of love and ladybugs :)

Forward

Happy New Year everyone!
I am going to try and do better about updating my blog. I have tons on my heart to share, just need to let it flow through God first.

So time for the New Year's resolution stuff right? Nope! I have tried that in the past and to no avail, fail miserably. So last year I tried something new and it worked! Choose one word and focus on that word for the whole year. Allow it to change your life and penetrate the walls of whatever you may be holding back.

My word last year was TRUST! God was telling me to choose to Trust Him.

I thought OK this could be a little hard, but it's God who else better to trust. The first part of the year was going great! Life was moving right along and trust seemed easy.

Then April came and my world began to fall apart, not very quickly so I just continued to trust. As the worries and strains of life piled ever more tediously on top of me I felt I was going under. God gave me a little somewhat of a reprieve when I just flung it at His feet and said "I TRUST You Lord I cannot do this anymore." That was October, but slowly I began to sink again as the pile began to grow again. I kept reaching for Him but could not SEE Him for the storms whirling around me. He of course was still there, the hope was still there, but my joy was being squashed. Then Christmas came and try as I might all I could do was focus on Him solely. I couldn't see the season, nor the joy, nor even the things that go along with it. I felt spiritual, physically, and mentally sick. I just kept reaching for Him and pleading with Him to remind me He was there. There were little glimpses that would lift my spirits but nothing to pull me completely out of the muck. Christmas for me was just sad, I could barely function, just went through the motions. Then I read something about Mary being so young and frightened and feeling so alone during her pregnancy with Jesus. She had HIM growing inside of her and was feeling the same as I was. I mean WOW! He was right there with her.

It reminded me

He is STILL right here with me.

TRUST HIM to make it through these storms.

He has always been there before, why would He not be here still?! You know what I had forgotten? You know what I had done? Listened to the enemies lies. "He has left you, you aren't good enough, why would He rescue you again?, You're not worthy." Then I got mad! Satan had made the wrong person mad I had enough!

I am a child of the ONE TRUE King HE lives inside of me!

His love, His power, His trust, right there inside me!

I had forgotten to "get out of the way" and let HIM be, HIM!

I knew I could not do any of what I was facing on my own, but He could do it all!

Proverbs 3:5-6 kept coming to mind "Trust in the Lord, with ALL your heart, lean NOT on your own understanding. In all your ways ACKNOWLEDGE Him and HE will make your path straight."

See that had nothing to do with me, this was all about HIM! Trusting HIM, allowing HIM to unfold His plans for me. Stop trying to do it on my own. And as I let go completely this time, things have gotten a little bit better. I can breathe a little. It's not all solved but I am still trusting Him to work all things according to His glory, for those who love Him (Rom 8:28). I will carry this trust into the new year.

He gave me a new word just this morning for this new year. That is just how God is, He won't leave you where you are. He wants to make us better. So as I thought of what my word could be this year, He just kept whispering this word.

We are no longer going to live "back there" in the past. It is time to move Forward. Not going to dwell on all the mistakes and all the heartache. We are going to go FORWARD and see what new things He has in store for me. Hang on, not to tightly lest I boast, to all the great things that happened and love that was shared. But walk in freedom and move Forward! This scripture comes to mind actually its been hurled at me multiple times today! :-) Love when God does that!

Isaiah 43:18-19 "Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new. Now it will spring forth;Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the dessert."

There it is right from His heart. Let go of the past, move forward and watch what I will do in your hard times. Beauty from ashes! A new thing!! I cannot wait! I am on board and excited to SEE what this "new thing" is! Knowing God like I do, it will be fabulous and ALL for His glory! Hang on friends! Allow Him to change you like He has me. Pick your word for the year. No resolutions that you cannot stick to, just one word. Allow God to use that word to make you new! Forward here I come!

lyrics to a beautiful song we sing in church, guess what the name of it is....

Moving Forward

Oh, hey, what a moment You have brought me to?
Such a freedom I have found in You
You're the healer who makes all things new, yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to You my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward, oh

You have risen with all power in Your hands
You have given me a second chance
Hallelujah, hallelujah, yeah, yeah, yeah


I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to You my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
moving forward

Not going back, moving ahead
Here to declare to You, my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward


You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward, oh
You make all things new
You make all things new and I will follow You forward

You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward
You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward

I will follow You forward!

Happy New Year! Lots of love and Ladybugs! :-)

My Thanksgiving Post

This is my thankful post! Not for the "things" I am thankful for. Things just fade, we cannot hang on to things. So we fix our eyes on what is eternal! Today I am choosing to share my thankfulness for the people who have helped shape my walk with Christ the eternal stuff!

When I was 10 years old I accepted Jesus in a Baptist Church in Lucedale MS. The Pastor just loved on me through my brokenness and showed me Jesus. Now you have to understand I only got a bit of church back then. I do believe throughout my life though The Holy Spirit led me even when I was unaware. You see I knew Jesus but I didn't have a relationship with Him. I hadn't fallen in love with His word, or Him yet. There were people throughout my young life that would plant little seeds to remind me Jesus loved me during the tough times. My moral compass would always keep me on the right track too. Looking back I know that was Jesus as well.

Bud and I were married in a small Baptist church in Butler. I do believe at that point is when Jesus truly began to mold our hearts towards Him. Although we were not listening, there was something there. How else do you explain how we got through all the hurt and loss at the beginning of our marriage! Then we moved here to Blue Springs and God just got a hold of me and persisted that we get to church. We started going on Sunday to First Baptist and just sat in the balcony...at the back....at the very, very top! It was a picture of our lives, we were afraid of all this. But as Pastor Paul began to preach we felt as though God was talking right through him. Y'all know how He does that?! So as we got "closer" to God we began to get closer to the front of the church. I find this hilarious looking back! Each week we would move a little closer to the front of the church. First to the front of the balcony, then to the back of the lower section. Eventually moving forward till like Jesus in our hearts we were at peace! Jesus kept talking through Paul and we kept falling in love with Jesus! We then took the "Bases" class or the membership class at church. (I cannot help but think that maybe Joey had a hand in naming it! Always disciplining, always tying baseball in. I could be wrong though) We also started going to bible study on Wednesday night with Joey Butler. He would tell it like it was, never beating around the bush. His heart was full of urgency and love! He would make us laugh, make us think, but more importantly gave us a love for Scripture and in turn for Jesus! I will never forget that man as long as I live! OH how I will miss him! My life is forever changed by him, and the others I am SO thankful for. I have some Joey stories I will be sharing later.

We began to attend Sunday School with Bob and Libby Comfort, those two people just set you on fire for Jesus and loved on us as a young couple who didn't know a thing! That is where I met my dear dear friend Stephanie and her awesome hubby Kip! As well as Greg and Ally Massey love their hearts for Jesus! And for the Orphan!!! That class got so big because Bob and Libby are awesome, so we had to branch out! In comes our fearless leader Brian and the lovely Marne. They allowed me to start to share my heart about Jesus and in turn helped my husband to accept Christ as well! Connie and Tim, Karin and Ron, Kimberly and Jeff plus numerous others in that class helped to mold us as well! I will forever be grateful for my "roots" being planted deep in the word in this class! In the mean time we always had Pastor Jerry keeping us on track as well!

Then for my kids and then eventually us as we began to help with the Children's Ministry was the lovely and wonderful Ms. Shirley! There are not enough words to describe my love and gratitude I have for this wonderful Godly woman! I just love and adore her! She is like my spiritual Mom and my kids Spiritual Grandmother! She has helped our kids love Jesus. They were always SO excited to go see Ms. Shirley and I am sure there were times they drove her crazy. Ah but being the woman she is, she never let that show! She just loved on them like crazy and has maintained that relationship with them as adults. We just simply and equivocally adore her with all that we are! She is the picture perfect example of Jesus! To this day she always has that beautiful smile on her face and love just radiates out of her! We are so thankful to Leo for sharing her with us all these years!

Through the years we just continued to serve in any way we could and allowed God to stretch us. In these years He has given us a huge heart for the Orphan and for Christian Music and to just worship. About 7 years ago God began another awesome work and brought Pastor Randall and Donna and Brooks to our church to just love on the people! This family has a special place in my heart because just like those before them they invested into our lives and our children's lives personally! Love you so much!!! Thank you for your love and gifts that you share daily! We are so blessed! Course then because I have a heart for worship Lee and Casey have truly opened up doors in my heart that I did not know were there! Thank you to you both for allowing us to just simply WORSHIP our Jesus! Your hearts for Him are so evident in what you do and how you treat us and each other! Oh you make us laugh, and love and cry (good tears) but oh you open our hearts for worship!!! Those are not just words we sing, those are prayers and praises to The Father!! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You give your all for Him and too Him, and to us! There are no words but we love you and appreciate you so much!!!

Then recently there is our life group! So many wonderful people in this group! Thank you for your hospitality and love for The Father! For sharing that with us. There is no condemnation or judgement going on in this group, just an evident love for others and more importantly for Jesus! Thank you Robin and Steve, Sharon and Greg, Karen, Melanie, Susan and Brian and everyone else in this group that just invests in each other and the Kingdom! Blessed beyond measure!!

There is also two other people who are our dearest friends Lisa and Mike! We truly have walked through this faith thing together. No matter our differences at the heart of our relationship is that we ALL love Jesus!! That has gotten us through everything! Thank you for your continued investments into our lives! There are not enough words to say thank you enough! Love you for eternity!

One other person I cannot help but thank is my sweetheart Bud. Your love for Jesus is so evident, from the day you and the kids were baptized together! (Best day of my life besides when I accepted Christ) to the everyday, mundane, day to day walk. Jesus is always there in you! Thank you for sharing Him with me and helping me to fall more in love with Him daily! I love you SO!! For the kids too! You know I adore you!!

There are tons more people out there who have invested in our lives to help us love Jesus if I didn't mention you please don't think you weren't important I just cannot remember everyone off the top of my head! You know what that means? I go to a church that everyone invests in each other and shares the love of the Father!! So thankful for that! We truly are about "being the church" So thankful today!!

Remember life is short, take time to tell those you love how you feel and what they mean to you. You may not get a second chance! Thank you all for your investment into my walk with Christ! I am forever changed!!!!

Blessings and Ladybugs :)

Teresa Bartlinski; What I learned from a Princess!!!

Teresa Bartlinski is a little heart warrior Angel adopted by the Bartlinski family. If you are on adoption blogs, or heart blogs I am sure you have heard of sweet little Teresa. Teresa's diagnosis in the orphanage was terminal. This sweet little one was born with "half a heart". Without proper care in the orphanage she should not have lived. BUT GOD, (don't you love it in the Bible when it says "but God? means He has more planned) had a wonderful plan for sweet little Teresa "Fang Fang". She was in Half the Sky orphanage and they were taking wonderful care of her but they could not give her the care she needed. All Teresa ever asked for was a family of her own, and she was determined and strong willed enough to fight to get that family. Half way across the world, the Bartlinski's heard of Teresa's plight, and was drawn to her. They prayed and asked for guidance, but all the guidance they needed was placed in their hearts by God. They knew little "Fang Fang" was to be their daughter. They were warned that she may not even make the flight home, her situation was so dire. However, those people did not know little Teresa the Princess Heart Warrior! She fought and she made it home with her forever family! Did I mention Teresa has 8 brothers and sisters?! 4 of which were special needs adoptions from China as well. Boy did she have a beautiful family waiting on her!! They all loved her very much! She fought through lots of surgeries and her  health issues were worse than they knew. Not only did Teresa need a new heart, but new lungs as well. A transplant would be critical, but dr's were afraid her little body could not handle a double transplant of both lungs and heart. One day last month God did a miracle in sweet little Teresa!

Her lungs somehow healed enough to be able to have the single transplant of her new little heart! Teresa was excited! She and her family took her packed bags and headed off to the hospital!

Teresa's whole life was a miracle and now they were asking God to do another miracle. Sweet little Teresa needed to have this heart work. 

But that wasn't the case, her "hero heart" was rejected. But Teresa fought on! She was bleeding and needed transfusions and her little chest cavity was just too small. The doctors decided that since her body had rejected this heart that she needed to be added to the top of the donor list again. In the mean time she needed to have her "hero heart" removed and put in the artificial berlin heart. Her Mommy's blog really tells this whole story in detail about all the fighting she did and how strong willed Teresa was. Here you can read the complete story. Her blog is Our Place Called Home. People all over the world prayed for Teresa last Monday when the berlin heart was being transplanted. We knew this could be it, exactly what she needed! Teresa was a Princess! Wore her Princess Teresa crown and ball gowns everywhere! So that day we all changed our profile pictures to something with Teresa on it, or something like this

to let her family know we were all praying and we wouldn't stop fighting for our little Princess and her heart!

Our sweet little Teresa fought and fought but her little body just could not handle it anymore. Teresa rode her  Princess bike without oxygen into the arms of Jesus on July 1, 2013 at 3:23 pm. Oh but she loved her Jesus! She knew Him and had accepted Him into her heart and life when she was just four years old! So Teresa had much joy knowing she would meet her Jesus one day! That day came sooner than anyone wanted. We know that she is safe and secure in His arms and that brings everyone comfort!

Now let me tell you what Teresa has done in my heart! I prayed for this little one for so long and asked others to pray for her as well. I knew she was a fighter! I never met her personally and don't know her parents but through her Mommy's blog and her video's and stories of Teresa I fell in love with her! Never have I prayed so drastically for someone I didn't know or hadn't met. I just felt God moving saying, keep praying! So I did! I am also a member of a group on Facebook that asked for prayers for this sweet one. I have to tell you I just watched God do some amazing things through this little one! Over 5,000 people were praying for her all over the world! Only God can use an orphan to bring together SO many people. It did not matter race, or religion or nationality, we just all prayed! And when Ann told us that Teresa went home to be with Jesus, I cried! My heart was broken. How could someone so little I have never known get into my heart like that? Only through our Jesus! She also put an urgency on my heart about our own adoption. Life is too short, kids need families. Some kids are in dire situations and need us to help them get the medical attention they so desperately need! We cannot stand by and let these children die when sometimes simple medical care is all they need. Won't you join us in advocating for these sweet ones?! Every child deserves a forever family just ask Teresa Bartlinski! See how much her family made a difference in her life, and even more important how much she made a difference in theirs! Imagine what she is doing for the Kingdom! Teresa we "Won't forget about you" sweet one! We love you MORE!!! Your whole life was a miracle!! 

In loving memory of Teresa Bartlinski the Little Princess Warrior who now resides with our King!

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

I Refuse

I admit it, I am a music lover!! Love it to my core! God made me to love all types of music, but when we get down to it Christian music touches my soul! I can't imagine going through one day without music. I love to listen to it, I love to sing it! I love to sing it so much that I cannot listen to it while going to bed, otherwise I just lie awake and sing! God gets me through each day with music, and He speaks to me through music more than anywhere else. So what better than to combine what Scripture says with music. The perfect combination! As most of you know I have a heart for orphans and adoption. God calls us to look after orphans and widows, that He is the Father to the fatherless. We are suppose to take up this cause, I believe more than anything. These are children who need loving families, to share with them what you have, the simple every day things. Not necessarily extravagant things, these kiddo's normally have nothing, so what you offer them is their basic necessities met. More important you offer them love of a family, and if you are a believer the love of our Jesus! What could be easier! If God calls you to adopt, then believe me when I say this, He will move mountains to make sure it happens. Will it be easy? Absolutely not! Will it be worth it? I believe YES with every fiber of my being! Children deserve to be in a forever family, no matter the circumstances.

This song was written by Josh Wilson and it should be ALL of our hearts cries! I am refusing! Will you refuse with me??? (You can hear it on my playlist at the bottom of the blog)

Sometimes I

I just want to close my eyes

And act like everyone's alright

When I know they're not

This world needs God

But it's easier to stand and watch

I could say a prayer and just move on

Like nothing's wrong

But I refuse

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care

I don't want to say another empty prayer

Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else

To do what God has called me to do myself

Oh, I could choose

Not to move but I refuse

I can hear the least of these

Crying out so desperately

And I know we are the hands and feet

Of You, oh God

So, if You say move

It's time for me to follow through

And do what I was made to do

Show them who You are

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care

I don't want to say another empty prayer

Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else

To do what God has called me to do myself

Oh, I could choose

Not to move but I refuse

To stand and watch the weary and lost

Cry out for help

I refuse to turn my back

And try and act like all is well

I refuse to stay unchanged

To wait another day, to die to myself

I refuse to make one more excuse

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care

I don't want to say another empty prayer

Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else

To do what God has called me to do myself

Oh, I could choose

Not to move but I refuse

I refuse

I refuse

To learn more about how you can help an orphan find a forever family visit Show Hope an orphan ministry from Steven Curtis Chapman and his family after they adopted, or visit America World Adoption  or any other number of Adoption Agencies.

Won't you answer the call of the cry of the fatherless?

Looking forward to sharing our adoption journey as it unfolds.


Love and Ladybugs :)