This Adoption journey just keeps getting better

For those of you just joining us. Let me tell you our story rather quickly. We are a family of 5 almost 6 that God set us on this journey called adoption 11 years ago now! We watched and waited and prayed and watched some more as we began to fall more in love with those sweet Asian faces with the almond shaped eyes. There is a lot to all those years of waiting but just know God prepared us in every single way possible to begin the journey we are on now. He built up our faith SO strong that when He finally said "GO" this past summer we did not hesitate one bit! There have been some road blocks along the way even since He said "GO" but we just kept trusting Him to get us through. Some were to the point of "this journey may not be seen till through the end" BUT GOD! Oh when those words appear in scripture you know big things are going to happen!! 

We trusted and we watched Him show off time and time again!! When others said: 

"you aren't worthy enough,"

"this will not happen,"

"be prepared for a no"

"are you sure you really want to do this?"

"I just don't understand why you are doing this."

"aren't you too old?"

"it's really expensive."

"you already have kids"

and the list goes on.... we said God called us to this! Told us with His own voice and reaffirmed it over and over again for 10 years, THIS is exactly what we are supposed to be doing! But still the hurdles came and the mountains looked steep from where we were. We just kept knocking on those doors and jumping hurdles and asking God to move the mountains if this was His Will. Time after time He did just that!! Do we still have a ways to go? Why Yes! But do we trust Him with everything He has called us too? ABSOLUTELY! This journey was never about us or even or sweetheart waiting for her family. Oh we like to think it is, but it is NOT! It is about our faith and our walk and the greatness and powerfulness of a call on our lives. IT is and always will BE about HIM!!! So as another No gets put into a YES in His book we praise Him once again!!

Today after waiting a mere 30 days, others just prior to us have waited 60-90+ days we were told YES!! All of our paperwork went to USCIS (United States Citizen and Immigration Services) to see whether we were a worthy family to adopt an international child. Let me tell you, our past is not perfect in the worlds eyes. We fought tooth and nail to be honest and try and divulge everything we could. There was one thing forgotten and finding that out before we got all the way to immigration both freed us and frightened us. Because that forgetting could have been our NO! And that NO could have been the end to our journey. Sounds simple to fix but it is NOT when you are looked at with a fine tooth comb through a looking glass. Again we are SO thankful that God's answer continues to be YES!

There is always extra paperwork to send to backup what the mistake was. I was tired of paperwork, tired of being exposed, tired of all the judgement. BUT I would do whatever it took to bring our daughter home. So we asked God that if it was His will, that this process go fast and we would loved to be approved and would LOVE not to have to send MORE paperwork in to explain even more of what they already had in our packet. My Spirit was calm as I prayed but as the wait got closer to a possible time that our file would be assigned to an officer I began to doubt. I became afraid and began to worry. Just this morning I asked God to forgive me for all that and He reassured me with one of my favorite bible verses! Jeremiah 29:11 our adoption verse I like to call it!

I had peace after that. It was like He just smiled GREAT BIG at me! I finished up my quiet time and went about my day. Bud had just got home from work and we were talking. I got a ping on my phone that I had an email. Earlier in the morning every ping made me nervous, but this one I didn't think anything about. I hit the button and there in my inbox was the words NBC HAGUE (the dept that handles adoptions for immigration) I clicked on it without even thinking and these words appeared.....Good morning. Your file was approved yesterday!! Have a great day!!! YESTERDAY!! WHAT!!! I expected, "Your file has not been assigned an officer yet, or we need more paperwork or blah blah blah blah blah, but the words APPROVED totally did not register. It took me a whole second to start screaming my husbands name!! He was 5 feet away from me not even kidding! I just kept repeating his name in this sing son voice over and over again!! Ok maybe I was screaming with excitement! He comes over and says what? I said LOOK!!!! And began to JUMP up and DOWN laughing and praising Our GOOD GOD who always has a YES when we follow His plans!! I have been on cloud 9 all day long! It was not just a, "this MIGHT be something you will have a yes on in the FUTURE." It was an ABSOLUTE YES you ARE qualified and you ARE worthy to be a parent to an international adopted child! We just kept praying that their Yes would line up with God's YES and the two collided today!!!! 

We are so thankful that His plans are far greater than our plans! We know what Satan intended for evil, God intended for good!! We will trust Him on this journey as we are one step closer to our baby girl!! This is a huge leap forward and in a matter of weeks our dossier will be ready to send to Ch*na! But that my friends is another blog!! Please continue to pray for our family and for our little girl. She has had a few of her friends adopted in the last few months and I am sure she might be wondering where her family is. We still have tons of funds to raise so stay tuned for fundraisers and ways you can help us bring her home! We are so thankful for each of you following along and praying for us on this journey and for those who have truly stepped up and are walking this journey with us!! It is not easy but it'll all be worth it when we get to hold our sweetheart in our arms and tell her how Jesus got her home!! We love you Ladybug!! Momma and Daddy are coming just hold on!! Please continue to follow along as we give God all the praise and glory and watch this journey unfold. All for Your Glory Lord!! All for Your Glory!!

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

We have a daughter! Part 2

After getting our girls file in our email and waiting patiently for Bud to get home, we opened up what would change our lives!

We began looking over her file and talking and praying. Our girl was in jeopardy of her file being sent back to Ch*na so we needed to make a decision on all this information given whether God was telling us she was ours or not. The file could be sent back any day and without putting it on hold or locking it in there may be no way to find her again. So we took the weekend, seemed like a very long weekend to me, to decide. At first we discussed in full but then we just needed time on our own and then together and then again on our own to see what God was saying. By Sunday night I was sure she was ours. My beloved however needed more time. He left for work Sunday afternoon and my heart was heavy. I just pleaded with God to speak to his heart and make it clear what His Will was. I truly felt the spiritual battle going on in my heart. Bud promised to pray and just seek what it was the Lord was telling him. I gave him the time needed.

Monday morning rolled around and I needed to get some professionals to take a look at her file. I needed to know what we would be dealing with if/when she was ours. So I got on the phone to specialists and then close friends who had friends with medical knowledge. The weird thing was I didn't care to much about what they said in making this decision. I knew in my heart she was ours. I did care however for their opinion on how we would take care of her when we got home. People always told me that once you know the child is yours, the special need won't matter, and won't be what you see. They were right!!

I got a few answers from some medical personnel, but the info I needed from our local children's hospital was not forthcoming quickly. We knew we were in a time crunch to decide but we were trusting God in all this. Bud was still undecided, lots of things on his heart. By Tuesday morning I just said "Honey what is God telling you?" He asked what it took to lock her file in, I said we needed to decide first if she was ours! That was his way of saying, "Honey I think she is ours." So we called our agency and said please put her on hold while we gather (even more) paperwork for her LOI (Letter of Intent) to adopt her. The clock began to tick quickly we had 72 hours to be sure AND to gather all this paperwork.

Being that we are towards the end of our Home Study there was a few things left to do that we hadn't done yet because of timing. But now all of a sudden those things needed to be done within 72 hours. One place we needed copies of something, their computers were down. Then we called our dr's to see if we could get our medical's and found out (without a prior letter from them) that the practice had disbursed! Just as we thought "OK, maybe she isn't ours" our agency called and said that since we were healthy adults that we just needed a letter signed saying that and could get the medical later, as well as a letter to replace the one needed from the place that the computers were down. Just like that God made the impossible POSSIBLE! Oh how he loves us! I stayed up till late that night filling out these pages of paperwork in order NOT to loose our daughter. Sent them to our Case Worker and fell into bed tired but at peace. I would have to wait till the next morning to see if I had done it right!

Email in my inbox Wednesday morning said "We have sent off your LOI for this sweet little girl" now to wait for PA (pre-approval) from Ch*na saying it was OK to move forward with this adoption and that yes indeed she was our girl! Agency said 2 weeks, so we settled in! We weren't in a hurry but knew waiting was just part of this whole thing. You always seem to hurry and wait. We had another Home Study visit the following Wednesday and spoke with our Social Worker about the waiting. She had recently adopted and said it took the full two weeks to get her PA back, and not to be anxious. I thanked her for her knowledge and her help along the way! We truly are blessed with an amazing Agency and Social Worker for our Home Study! Many of you who have adopted in our area have had the same Social Worker so you know what I mean! She is simply heaven sent! Grateful for her!

The following day I was at a sweet friends house doing what I love to do every week, and Bud was at work driving his long drive home. He happened to call me and asked if I had gotten an email. I said "No, should I've?" He said "You better check your email then call me back." I said "OK? is everything alright?" He said "Just go check!" So I hung up but before I could get to the email I had a voice mail. I clicked on the voice mail and the sweetest voice on the other end of the line said words that would change my life forever and bring me to my knees in tears and praise! My caseworker said "Hi Tammy I just wanted to let you know we have received your PA from Ch*na!! Congratulations you have a daughter!!

I was in tears, I could NOT stop crying! I had prayed for this day for 10 years and just like that they said YES! We knew God had already said Yes but we had to get through her country's list of qualifications! I called Bud (still in tears) he couldn't read his email because he was driving. So of course when he answered he was concerned. He asked, "What happened? Is everything ok?" with anxiety in his voice I could tell he was concerned. I mustered the words through tears and sobs "We have PA!" and the reaction from my husband was priceless! His step of faith just one week prior allowing God to do whatever it was He asked of us, came back with a "THANK YOU JESUS" from my husbands lips as loud as he could! He was so happy and giddy and just kept repeating those words. See what happens when you follow His will! He was not able to be home that night but we celebrated with joy here and Chinese food!!

So without further anticipation and with much joy, may I introduce you to the newest member of our family! Waiting for us to finish all this paperwork and to bring her home!! Our second daughter and our fourth child......Our Ladybug Abigail Hannah.......

 Abby!!!!

The journey has only begun! Please join us in celebrating our good God and all He has planned for us! Praise Him with us for our littlest sweetheart!! We are smitten! We have found out she LOVES music and is very shy and quiet. Once she gets to know you they tell us she is a happy girl. She loves it when people smile and doesn't like it when people are serious! I can live with that! We are a pretty happy family! Sounds to me like she is going to fit right in!!! And Abby makes 6 Tatertots!!! We would love it if you would walk this journey with us! Oh what great things The Lord has planned! Don't miss it!! 

Totally blessed and feeling very thankful!

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

Teresa Bartlinski; What I learned from a Princess!!!

Teresa Bartlinski is a little heart warrior Angel adopted by the Bartlinski family. If you are on adoption blogs, or heart blogs I am sure you have heard of sweet little Teresa. Teresa's diagnosis in the orphanage was terminal. This sweet little one was born with "half a heart". Without proper care in the orphanage she should not have lived. BUT GOD, (don't you love it in the Bible when it says "but God? means He has more planned) had a wonderful plan for sweet little Teresa "Fang Fang". She was in Half the Sky orphanage and they were taking wonderful care of her but they could not give her the care she needed. All Teresa ever asked for was a family of her own, and she was determined and strong willed enough to fight to get that family. Half way across the world, the Bartlinski's heard of Teresa's plight, and was drawn to her. They prayed and asked for guidance, but all the guidance they needed was placed in their hearts by God. They knew little "Fang Fang" was to be their daughter. They were warned that she may not even make the flight home, her situation was so dire. However, those people did not know little Teresa the Princess Heart Warrior! She fought and she made it home with her forever family! Did I mention Teresa has 8 brothers and sisters?! 4 of which were special needs adoptions from China as well. Boy did she have a beautiful family waiting on her!! They all loved her very much! She fought through lots of surgeries and her  health issues were worse than they knew. Not only did Teresa need a new heart, but new lungs as well. A transplant would be critical, but dr's were afraid her little body could not handle a double transplant of both lungs and heart. One day last month God did a miracle in sweet little Teresa!

Her lungs somehow healed enough to be able to have the single transplant of her new little heart! Teresa was excited! She and her family took her packed bags and headed off to the hospital!

Teresa's whole life was a miracle and now they were asking God to do another miracle. Sweet little Teresa needed to have this heart work. 

But that wasn't the case, her "hero heart" was rejected. But Teresa fought on! She was bleeding and needed transfusions and her little chest cavity was just too small. The doctors decided that since her body had rejected this heart that she needed to be added to the top of the donor list again. In the mean time she needed to have her "hero heart" removed and put in the artificial berlin heart. Her Mommy's blog really tells this whole story in detail about all the fighting she did and how strong willed Teresa was. Here you can read the complete story. Her blog is Our Place Called Home. People all over the world prayed for Teresa last Monday when the berlin heart was being transplanted. We knew this could be it, exactly what she needed! Teresa was a Princess! Wore her Princess Teresa crown and ball gowns everywhere! So that day we all changed our profile pictures to something with Teresa on it, or something like this

to let her family know we were all praying and we wouldn't stop fighting for our little Princess and her heart!

Our sweet little Teresa fought and fought but her little body just could not handle it anymore. Teresa rode her  Princess bike without oxygen into the arms of Jesus on July 1, 2013 at 3:23 pm. Oh but she loved her Jesus! She knew Him and had accepted Him into her heart and life when she was just four years old! So Teresa had much joy knowing she would meet her Jesus one day! That day came sooner than anyone wanted. We know that she is safe and secure in His arms and that brings everyone comfort!

Now let me tell you what Teresa has done in my heart! I prayed for this little one for so long and asked others to pray for her as well. I knew she was a fighter! I never met her personally and don't know her parents but through her Mommy's blog and her video's and stories of Teresa I fell in love with her! Never have I prayed so drastically for someone I didn't know or hadn't met. I just felt God moving saying, keep praying! So I did! I am also a member of a group on Facebook that asked for prayers for this sweet one. I have to tell you I just watched God do some amazing things through this little one! Over 5,000 people were praying for her all over the world! Only God can use an orphan to bring together SO many people. It did not matter race, or religion or nationality, we just all prayed! And when Ann told us that Teresa went home to be with Jesus, I cried! My heart was broken. How could someone so little I have never known get into my heart like that? Only through our Jesus! She also put an urgency on my heart about our own adoption. Life is too short, kids need families. Some kids are in dire situations and need us to help them get the medical attention they so desperately need! We cannot stand by and let these children die when sometimes simple medical care is all they need. Won't you join us in advocating for these sweet ones?! Every child deserves a forever family just ask Teresa Bartlinski! See how much her family made a difference in her life, and even more important how much she made a difference in theirs! Imagine what she is doing for the Kingdom! Teresa we "Won't forget about you" sweet one! We love you MORE!!! Your whole life was a miracle!! 

In loving memory of Teresa Bartlinski the Little Princess Warrior who now resides with our King!

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

While In The Waiting

I guess I have been absent for awhile! Well I am back and instead of catching you up I am just going to go forward. I have decided that I need to put down what God has been telling my heart before I forget. Because we are a very forgetful people. He blesses us, we praise Him, then we forget! We have this awesome God who takes care of all our needs but when we get into this mess of "life", we forget what He has brought us through. So I am going to try and blog as much as possible because I do NOT want to forget His goodness!

The hubby and I are moving in a direction that we truly see God's hand in. He has brought us through some things these past few months that we have been fighting our whole marriage. Just junk, you know the kind, the stuff you THINK you are stuck with. He just got a hold of us and said, it's time to let me have it and move forward in a positive way. Oh how HE loves us!! It's not an easy journey but its one that needed to be done. Is any journey worth doing, easy? It is preparing us for MUCH bigger things!! :)

As you all know we sponsor this sweet little girl Hope at An Orphan's Wish that we are just crazy about. Every time we get an update our hearts soar. We continue to pray that she will find her forever family and that her life in the orphanage will end with a beautiful family to love her. That has been our prayer through everything she has gone through. She is sure growing beautiful!

I had just read an update to my hubby and showed him her updated photo's late one Saturday night and he smiled sweetly at her in that fatherly kind of way, and said she is adorable. The next morning while standing in church our pastor had mentioned that if anyone felt a burden or needed to pray about something to just come down front to one of our pastors. We began to sing our worship music and my family really loves to worship, but something wasn't right with the hubby. He just stood there kind of still and wasn't singing a word. He whispered something in my ear that I could barely hear. He said I think we need to pray for Hope. I said sure but we always pray for Hope. He said "I know just pray with me." Which he is pretty quiet about his prayer life, not one to just bust that out. So him, our daughter and I stood right there by our seats and prayed. But the words he prayed were not just any words. They were direct words from God. Now we are continuing to pray to see where this leads. But the hubby didn't even remember praying these words. Our daughter and I heard them clearly. He prayed, "Lord, I want to pray for Hope, that you would find her family and bring her home to them, I know in my heart that she is our daughter ( my ears perked WAY up and I began to weep) Lord we ask that you move whatever obstacles that may be in the way so that one day we may adopt her...and his prayer went on, he asked in the mighty name of Jesus and we closed the prayer. But he was NOT done! He felt such a burden that he went down front and prayed with one of our pastors. Now you have to know something. He is a quiet man about these sort of things, we talk privately and when he needs to share in Sunday School he does, but he is not one to share something like this unless he is sure! I was so emotionally excited that he got a word from God. He went down front and the pastor he prayed with actually is an adoptive dad himself. Only God friends only God!! They prayed for Hope and all that may entail. God is SO good! We do not know God's plan, but we don't have too. We just have to listen and follow it when he reveals each step.

Adoption has been burdening me a lot lately. The horrible news that came out of Russia broke my heart! So I have felt this urgency, about so many things about adoption. Ever since my hubby heard from God, I have been bombarded once again with things about adoption and so has he. This time feels different. After the storm we have been through and coming out with God's help this feels different. I am praying daily for wisdom to seek His will. That is what we want HIS will. It has been HUGE things everyday for the past two weeks. From people that you would not expect the word "adoption" to come out of their mouths. It makes my laugh out loud at God, going look I can use those people too! He is SO good. Now we have not began anything and Hope is not even up for adoption. But I know my God can and will do what it takes to fulfill His plans. So would you pray for us? That we would just be open to His voice, that He would make things crystal clear as to what we are supposed to do. That whatever He asks, we will step out in faith without hesitation? We will be praying these things as well. I don't know where we are headed, I do know if God is going, we are going with Him!! One step at a time, one foot in front of the other!

Please pray for us and as our story unfolds, we will share what God is doing!

Lots of love and Ladybugs! :)

Tommy's Story Pt. 2

Tommy has always been a happy kid! Ask anyone who has EVER known him!

The kid will make you SMILE! Even if you're trying not to, he brings out the best in everyone. When he started Kindergarten he kind of held back some just to see how everyone would react. It did not take him long to make friends. He has always been like that. He often reminds me of another man in my life who seems to always love adventure and makes friends easily and loves new places. Our son is a LOT like this person! And I love that about him! It brings great joy to mine and my hubby's heart that he is so much like this one we love! 

Tommy is also somewhat of joker. OK I am lying! He IS a joker!! The kid will pull pranks, try things that you just don't think you could dare try. He gets in the middle of everything!

 He also tends to be the class clown. Which can benefit him and a few times got him into some trouble and mischief.

Another thing about Tommy is he LOVES to sleep!!! I have SO many pictures of this kid sleeping its unbelievable!

So put the class clown and the sleep thing together and you have  the makings for a prank. So that you know Tommy, I am going to share a prank that got pulled on HIM because of all his silliness. His Freshman year of H.S. he was in this one class and one day he fell asleep in class. The kids knowing how much fun Tommy is decided to pull a prank on him. Oh did I mention Tommy loves to eat too?!

Tommy fell asleep with his head on his desk and his mouth open and during his sleep one of the guys in class decided to put cheez-its in his mouth. Tommy just chewed and chewed away not waking up once! This kid is a riot! A few days later in another class he fell asleep again and this time the teacher got in on the prank. The story goes, apparently Tommy was snoring in class. So as quiet as they could the whole class, teacher included got up out of their seats and left the room. Tommy woke up a bit later trying to figure out what was going on. He went to the office asked where his class was, wandered to the library but no one knew where they were. He headed back to class and their they all were sitting as quiet as can be back in the classroom. When Tommy came back in they all busted out laughing!! Normally he is the one instigating these pranks but this time, he got it pulled on him! He just laughed and HAD to come home and share it with us. Twice in a week was pretty funny!! However it did not teach him a lesson, he still occasionally falls asleep in class!

Another thing about our Tommy is he loves deep!! He loves his family and he will do whatever he can to protect them. If you ever get the privilege of this kiddo loving you, it will be for life!!

He just has this way about him. People who know him know that about him. He reels you in and then once your hooked, your hooked for life. He just steals your heart!

I do not know ANYONE who really knows him ever doubt his heart. And oh how he LOVES Jesus!! I SO love that about him, it's my favorite thing!! When he was about 6 years old in Sunday school, our dear Children's Minister Mrs. Shirley (who BTW loves him to pieces too!...still....to this day!) was teaching the books of the bible to the 1st graders. Tommy was so on the ball he just soaked it all in. Every week when asked who could recite the books up until where Mrs. Shirley taught them, the kids would raise their hand. As she added more books and it got a little harder you would see less and less hands raised, but there was Tommy's always raised and anxious to share what he knew about his Jesus. Funny thing was sometimes his excitement would over take him and he would just blurt it out. At one point Mrs. Shirley asked Tommy ever so politely, to see if they could give the other kids a chance to recite them. Tommy shouted out "Sure Mrs. Shirley!" She loved his enthusiasm. He still has that passion for Jesus only not so much in memorizing bible books but sharing Jesus love for others. There are times this kid has me on my knees constantly praying for him about whatever he is going through. So much prayer for this one, because he is a little dramatic and he tends to be in and out of trials so much. Always till the last minute then somehow God just pulls him right out of it and Tommy (&me) thank Him for it!!

I can say one of my very favorite things about Tommy is his genuineness, his love, and his hugs!!! He gives the best hugs!! And he makes you feel SO much better when you are sad! Come on friends out there who know him, y'all know this is true!! When I would cry and he was little he would take his little hands all the way up to my eyes and wipe, and wipe and wipe and wipe the tears away, completely away, till not one drop was left and I was smiling! He still does that now and then. And when he had his surgeries and I had mine right after this past year, he was never very far away asking me if I was OK. He was in no shape to help me but I knew in his heart if he could have jumped up and got me something he would have. This is one of my kids that when he hurts (which is not often at all) I hurt deeply inside of my soul! We just have this bond, unbreakable! Dare I say he is a sweet, strong, tough, man, but he is a Mama's boy to the core! He will admit that in a heart beat! He loves his Mama!! He can never be mad at me even if he tries!

Don't get me wrong my other kids love me deeply too, but it is something that Tommy is never afraid to admit! He was one when he was little if someone said something bad about his Mama he would go on the defense in an instant! He just has this pure heart!!

In a few weeks my little boy with the pure heart and the funny laugh and his silly impersonations of others, lately he has been walking around talking with a British accent that just cracks me up!!

But our sweet little boy that God saved all those sweet years ago (oh what a blessing he is to his family every SINGLE day!!

will graduate from High School!! This has been a tough thing for him. He is not the type of kid to sit in a class room, unless he is sleeping ha ha!! He would rather be out playing and learning things.

He is a hands on kind of kid. He learns in an instant that way. So any class he took hands on he did awesome in. He struggled with the the required classed, but by God's grace, Our boy will graduate!! He has 4 days of school left and next Tuesday at Senior breakfast will get his cap and gown and then Memorial weekend he will walk across that stage (and I am sure do something funny!) and get his diploma and make it official!!

This is a little insight into our boy! This boy who has become a man will one day soon go out and defend our country for our freedom.

Love this boy!

This little boy that God saved will go put his life in harms way to protect others. Oh that is so much like our Jesus. After all he is made in HIS image!!! Thank you Father for loaning us this precious child to be our son for us to raise to love you, and in turn loves us so dearly. Words cannot express how much we adore this sweet young man!!

Leave a word of "hope" for our graduate if you would like, or a few words about him to share his heart!! Oh how we love our Tommy Tunes!! Thomas Patrick you make your family proud!!! Always love you son!!

One blessed Mama! 

Thank you Lord for the blessing of this son!!

Blessings my friends!! and ladybugs :)

The Graduate...Tommy's Story

Ok I know I have not updated in awhile what the family has been up to so I thought I would start with our soon to be graduate!! Wait didn't I do this last year..oh yes we did! :) So in order to catch you up I must share a little bit of back ground about our youngest child...(so far ;) )

Tommy was born July 4th 1994 a beautiful healthy baby boy 9lbs 12 oz! Or so we thought. Delivery went well the day following went well, then the doctor came in with bad news. Tommy had not had his first movement. (Sorry not trying to be graphic but this is a huge part of his story, there is more of this to follow so bear with me please?) Being a mom for the 3rd time I was not to awful concerned until the Dr explained that this was not normal and that they needed to rush him to our nearest children's hospital 45 minutes away. I panicked! My hubby had went home to pick up our other 2 kiddo's so we could take pictures and then take Tommy home. That was not in the plan. As soon as he arrived with the kids and two other family members. I had to tell them they had sent Tommy by ambulance to the children's hospital (Thank You Lord for one being so close!) We were heartbroken.

When we arrived at C*H they quickly took us up to the NICU to see our son. He was all hooked up with wires and we had to scrub up to see him. This would not be the last time that happened. We spoke with the Dr's to see what the plan would be. They said they would do a procedure and he should be fine, nothing to bad but it would cause him to be able to get the meconium out and he would be great! We were so relieved! So everything was going good after that. We took him home and he did fine for a few days then it all happened again. We went back and forth to the dr but they couldn't figure it out. So we took him back to C*H to see what they thought. They ran some tests. One for CF the other for Hirschsprungs Disease. We waited for days to get results back but no one knew anything. Meanwhile my baby boy was suffering tremendously.

After Dr regiments for moving his bowels that didn't really seem to work we were just worried. Finally through a friend and we know by God's hand we found a pediatric surgeon. We went in to the office distraught and tired and confused and explained to him the situation. He immediately got on the phone and got the test results which were inconclusive. So he scheduled the 1st surgery for Tommy. A simple same day surgery to do a more invasive test. Keep in mind he is about 6 weeks old by this time. You don't really wanna hear the word invasive when it comes to a 1 1/2 month old. It took a week to get those results back. The Dr called in the middle of the day in the middle of the week and said words I will never forget, "You need to bring him in right now for surgery! If we wait any longer he may not make it."  Not to be graphic but by this time Tommy could not have a movement at all and when he did eat he would regurgitate it from his upper intestines. That day we found out Tommy indeed has Hirschsprungs Disease. It is a hereditary disorder of the intestines. I called my hubby who was at work 1 1/2 hrs away and he met us at the hospital. The surgery lasted 4 hours. Numbers I remember 4 hr surgery 7 week old, 3rd child. I did not understand why we were all going through this. IT was heart breaking sitting there waiting. They took out 8 inches of his Large Intestines and made a colostomy on the left side of his tummy, so tiny but so lifesaving! God was in the details let me tell you!!

 He would require an additional surgery that lasted 5 hours to reconnect his intestines  later on when he got bigger! That happened when he was 7 months old. God truly saved our sons life. There have been side effects to all this. Potty training was very hard and he has some other issues that can sometimes be funny or embarrassing. But if you know Tommy at all you know he makes those "issues" funny and just lets them roll off of him like they don't matter!

Next Post: Growing up with our Boy...now the graduate

Wait

I ran across this about 2 years ago, 6 years after God prompted us to adopt. It still fits to this day. Still Waiting on Your direction Lord. Through the years I have been watching His plans unfold. Things that weren't possible at the start of this calling are now become clearly possible now. So I wait on His timing, most of the time very painfully I wait, but none the less, it is after all HIS plan! This fits anyone but it spoke volumes to my heart about our adoption journey. For you though, it could be about whatever struggle He is taking you through, just remember He see's the WHOLE picture. This is by Russell Kelfer.

Wait

Desperately, helplessly, longly I cried,

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate...

and the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait?, You say Wait?" my indignant reply,

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know, why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.

My future and all to which I relate,

hangs in the balance and you ask me to wait?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a 'no', to which I'll resign.

"You promise, dear Lord, that if I believe,

We need, but ask, and we shall receive.

Lord, I've been asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly I learned of my fate,

as my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

and grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting.....for what?"

He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine....

And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun,

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you see and pleased you would be,

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint,

You'd not know the power I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in me, 

When darkness and silence are all that you see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love,

When the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give and I save, as a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

The glow of my comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask,

From an Infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My Grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent my child, and in time you will see,

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still, Wait."

Blessings and Ladybugs :)

God is Gracious

Well friends, sorry its been a bit since I blogged but things are crazy around here. Feel like I have said that before, guess it goes with being a mom!

 As some of you are aware I have been searching for a job for awhile. I love kids and I love just sharing and teaching them. I love to get in the floor and play with them, and hug them when they are sad. God has just given me a heart for little kids whether its at church or just taking great care of them. Guess that is why God has called us to adoption and advocating on behalf of the orphan. So my prayers have been lately on the job front, to honor Him and the gifts He has given me when it comes to a job. I put my application in at lots of places, but got nothing. I finally just picked up the phone book and started calling childcare centers. Some were taking applications, some were hiring but did not sound very happy at all. Made me think twice about going to work at a place where people seemed sad. Didn't seem like an atmosphere to spend time in. The last person I called was happy and cheerful and was hiring! They asked if I had experience and I said YES!! Then I asked when I could come in and do an application. I went the next day, and asked for an interview right there on the spot. She was excited and told me they would get back with me the beginning of the next week. I got home told my hubby it went well and we were both praying and content waiting on God to see what He would do. They called back within hours and let me know they would call my references and gave me the rundown as to the next steps. I got a little anxious late Monday night but God whispered to me, it is not today do not worry! It will be Wednesday when you go in. So I relaxed. Sure enough Tuesday midday they called and asked me to come in Wednesday for training! God is so good and so trustworthy! I am happy to say I have been happily employed for a week and a half!! I love my job! I love the kids! They are so adorable! I have a different mindset this time unlike before when I worked in childcare centers. This is not just a job, its a way to share love, Gods love, with all the kids who may not get to know His love. I look at each child as if He were looking at me asking me to love them like He does, and it really has made a HUGE difference. Thank you Father for Your blessings and provisions!

On another note I have been able to see God's goodness and faithfulness in one of my friends lives! He is really just walking with her and taking wonderful care of her. He has surrounded her with great friends and wonderful doctors and an awesome group of prayer warriors surrounding her. I am so blessed by her and blessed God has brought her in my life. I love that He is "showing off" in her life! He is so gracious!


On another note, my family and I did a walk yesterday in honor of my bro-in-law Brian who lost his battle with Osteosarcoma (bone cancer) almost 2 years ago. Brian was diagnosed in his early 20's and was just days from his 30th birthday.
 It was a very emotional day! We were grateful to be there and be part of something so wonderful. It was a walk to help find a cure for childhood cancer. We also lost a dear sweet little girl 10 years ago at the age of 8 to the same disease. She was a wonderful bright cheerful little girl, who was in my girl scout troop, with my daughter and her friends. I have been able to look at this disease with two different perspectives. One from a Mom's point of view for Hayley and to watch my little girl grieve through that process was one of the most heart wrenching times in my life. With Brian it was the view from a sister. My heart broke over and over and over again for my Sis-in-law and my brother and nephew. Brian was so full of life and love and was never afraid to try anything and he loved Jake as much as I do! His saying about cancer was "It is what it is" He loved his Sister so much and entrusted her to all the details of his life and she handled it with honor. So this walk was about Brian but it was also about his family and their struggles to go on without him.
. It has been tough but they have held on to his love and strength to get through this. I am extremely proud to be part of their family. It was so good to honor Brian, and to honor Hayley yesterday. The balloon release I think was the most beautiful and the most heartfelt thing I have witnessed in awhile. God was  gracious and was honored yesterday and we could feel our loved ones with us. Thank you Father for being with us and taking care of them for us till we get there to be with them! We know life is hard without them but we also have faith that we will see them again. Until then there will be times when life is painful without them and then there will be times it will be joyful remembering them and all the love and joy they brought to our lives. When we share that with others we are sharing them and all the love in our hearts that we have for them. This place is not our home, we are just passing through. Lets remember to live our lives as if we are waiting on Heaven. That way God will be honored and our loved ones who have gone on before us will be remembered with love and joy! We know while we are here God has a plan for us and we need to do that plan to the best of our ability with His help and in His will. As the song they played yesterday reminded us, yes "I will remember you!" Both of you, because you have touched my life in a very special way. I will carry you with me always!!

Love and Ladybugs :)

Lots to Blog about, Moving Forward as well

Hi friends! Just back from a wonderful concert at my church! Dino from Branson MO stopped by and shared his beautiful talents with us, and a double duty had my Mom with me for her 60th birthday. She LOVED it!! Lots of birthdays this weekend. My sweet sweet nephew turned 5 today and can I tell ya, that little one gets cuter every time I see him! What a privilege it is to be his Aunt TT :) See how cute he is!

I just love this little guy he stole my heart the first time I held him! And has had it wrapped around his little fingers ever since! Love love LOVE him to pieces!! (AJ I stole this pic from your fb page hope ya don't mind its just too cute!) Anyway so we celebrated with a Toy story themed party. His Mommy is an awesome party thrower let me tell ya. He loved it and all his cute little friends loved it too. Although I am not sure who was worn out most, all the kids or my sweet Sis in law Autum! Way to go girl you rocked it!! What a fun time we all had, and Jake will always remember it!!!!!!!!!!

So this is the first blog I am typing from our new home! We love it! We are very very humbled by it and are honored that God is allowing us to be here at this time, praying its permanent but knowing we will go wherever He leads. It is more than I could ever have imagined or dreamed. We are adjusting well. Things are put away except I have not done the dreaded hang up all the pictures things, and I find myself wanting to get new stuff to put in here (the house is bigger than we have ever had) but I am controlling myself. I have a bigger goal in mind at this time and that stuff can wait. (although that is harder to do sometimes when I find the cutest little *whatever* to fill whatever space I think it would fit perfect) but I am stickin to my guns!! :)

Kids are in the second full week of school and they are doing great. The first few weeks are not so bad time wise, but look out next week we will kick into full band mode! Tired and running full steam for 2 straight months! Lots going on. Both kids are doing the CTC program this year. Sis is continuing in her Culinary Arts program and Tommy will be doing Auto tech and repair. He loves it!! Then he too will attend college at a local school to get his degree in that specific field. He was truly meant to do this stuff, its amazing to watch him, its in his blood! Ernie is doing well back down at SBU. I am just praying for him to find a job so he can feel better about some things. If you pray would you pray for him as well? He really needs this job for multiple reasons. I am one proud Mom of all my kids!!

Now on to some interesting news. You know how sometimes you overlook things or you completely miss them? Well back in July I was in a conversation with a bloggy friend about meeting a certain requirement to start this adoption. I just have known for awhile there is no way we would meet it for awhile. Well she commented back on how exactly it could be done, but the thing is for some reason I missed that comment till yesterday!! Oh my goodness when I opened up the comments link on the blog dashboard (which BTW I always knew it was there but just never accessed it) there was the complete instructions on how exactly we could meet this requirement!! Might I also add that it was midnight when I read this comment and everyone except my daughter was asleep. So I ran into where she was, jumping up and down so excited I wanted to pop!! I had to hug someone and tell someone right then!! Now here is the funny thing. I do believe if God would have allowed me to see that comment back in July I would have been sad, too much was going on and I had my plate full at that moment. But now, now I can digest it and take care of a few things, and BAM we will meet the requirement! Now I have NO idea where any of the money will come to fund this adoption, not even the application fee but I have FAITH in my GREAT BIG GOD that He can take care of it!! After all He owns a cattle on a thousand hills, and caring for orphans is a command that He gives us!

 Our Pastor asked us last week, How big are your prayers? Your prayers are only as big as you allow God to be. Well I know how BIG my God is so I am stepping out with BIG prayers for lots of things so that we can begin this adoption!! Is this finally IT????? Oh my goodness Oh my GOODNES, Oh MY GOODNESS, OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! After all this time waiting could this actually be it??!! Please pray with me friends that God will open the right doors if this is truly it and that He will give us clear signs on how to proceed! I am calling on the Power of the Resurrected God to show us each step and how to proceed! There is POWER in His name Jesus!! WOOHOO!! Here am I Lord, SEND ME!! OK I am a bit excited, just thinking of the possibilities!! Wonderful night worshipping our living God! And the words to these two sweet songs this morning from our worship pastor, Pastor Lee. Love ya Buddy!! Thanks for your faithfulness in serving and sharing the gospel through music!

Here are the words to those songs (just parts of them)

Savior He can move the mountains (our mountain is the financial aspect of this adoption)

My God is mighty to save He is mighty to save,

Forever author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave

Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see (CHINA)

Were singin for the glory of the Risen King

Savior He can move the mountain

My God is mighty to save! He is mighty to save!

The other song is this:

What a moment you have brought me too,

All the freedom I have found in you,

Your the healer you make all things new

Yeah Yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah Yeah

I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead

I'm here to declare to you

My past is over, in you

All things are made new

Surrender my life to Christ

I'm moving, moving Forward!!

So my friend, Our God will move the mountains to bring our sweet baby girl home from China for us, He promised me all those years ago. And I myself am moving Forward with Him leading the way, surrendering all the fear and frustration and misunderstanding and anxiety over to Him. He is MY Savior and Redeemer and If God is for us, Then who can be against us?!!! Lord please bring our Ladybug home to her forever family! I'm trusting you with everything and I say that with a big grin on my face and tears in my eyes!!

Lots of love, and lots and lots of Ladybugs!

Tammy :)

P.S. For those of you who have heard my story about God sending me ladybugs, when we moved into this home, there were HUNDREDS of Ladybugs (albeit dead) in the window sills of the basement and some by the front door!!!!!!, and then God sent one to my HUBBY! in the grocery store the other day, of all places! He saw it from a distance and went over and rescued it to take it outside!! God is SO good!! We do NOT deserve His blessing but we are praising Him for them anyhow!!

Thankful for my blessings

Lots going on around here. Hubby and our youngest at scout camp. Our college boy just got back from a canoe trip with our college ministry. Our daughter is still going strong at band camp. Tommy is missing out this week because of scout camp but I think he is probably suffering in this heat a bit down there. In the middle of all this, there are still things going on. Dr's appointments, dentist appointments, enrollment for school filled out and ready for next week. Then the normal things families have to do, oh and yeah I forgot, I am packing up a storm! 11 days till we move!! Talk about crazy! So I am sitting here thinking of all the things I am thankful for.

My husband, who has stood by me for all these years, (20+) how could I not be thankful for him?! He is something else. You who know him, know what I mean. I told him the other day that I mentioned him in my blog and he said "Me? why would anyone want to hear about me? I am NOT important!" Then he smiled that ornery smile of his and went on about what he was doing. When my life gets crazy or I begin to over think things, he brings me back to where I need to be and reminds me everything will be alright. Wish he was here right now to remind me of that, I am just a bit freaked out! He makes me laugh, makes me smile, makes me crazy but he is my best friend and my perfect mate! He is a godly role model for our children and loves us so very much! I am SO thankful to God for him. See this is my blog so I can brag all I want about him and he can't do a thing about it! :) Love you honey!!

Then of course I am thankful for my kids! They are all special in their own way and have made my life better just by being my kids! They too make me laugh, make me cry, make me crazy, but bring so much joy to our home. I can honestly say I would not be the same person without them in my life. Even their constant picking on me out of fun about how short I am, makes me smile! They bring so much depth and sincerity to my life, things I would have never imagined discussing with them, has come up. It just makes my heart happy to know they feel they can come to me about anything. I love the sound of teenagers in my house! Well for that matter, the sound of any kids in my house! My kids make my heart grow fuller with love every single day! Love you all bunches!!

Also thankful for my brother and sis in law and my sweet nephew Jake! What a joy it is to have them in my life! Words cannot express how much I love them or how much they mean to me. Tony and Autum and I have practically grown up together! We have been through things only families that love each other can endure. Then sweet little Jake came along and just brightened our world even more. I love that boy to pieces!! He reminds me of his daddy quite often when he was little. Thank you Lord for the blessing of these three. My life would not be complete and my heart would not be whole without them! Love you always you three!!! So blessed to have you in our lives!

Then of course my Mom and Bud's parents! Life would not be complete without parents! Thank you for guiding us and standing by us! And for loving us even when we were not so lovable and even when you did not understand us. We are blessed and thankful and love you very much! And I am also thankful for my Dad who is not with us anymore, he went to be with Jesus in 1994 but is forever part of my life and in my thoughts and on my heart! Love ya Dad! Miss you tons! All these people have taught me the best they know how, how to be an adult! Thank you for that!

Then there are those in your life who you cannot begin to imagine how they came to choose you as their friends but are blessed everyday to know they are there for you no matter what. God just somehow brought them into your life for a reason. There are time I cannot begin to imagine my life without them, when did I NOT know them. Seems they have always been there. Seems they have always cared. Not only about me, but about my husband and my kids and that for me is priceless! So to my very special friends out there who have stood by us through all these years. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and I love you very much! To The Landis's, seems we have been friends since the very first time we met! God just brought us together and we clicked! Our kids love each other and get along great with each other and we always had something in common or something we just HAD to do together! What would our lives be like if our sweet little girls had not met each other way back in kindergarten? My life would NOT be the same. Thank you for loving us and caring about us and understanding the depths of our hearts! We love you SO SO SO very much and I know our friendship must have been ordained in heaven because otherwise you would never have any reason to stick by us all this time. I love you all very much and it is my privilege to watch your sweet kids grow into remarkable godly young adults! Thank you for allowing us to be your friends and allowing us to be part of your lives! Your the best!!

Then there are some other friends whom I confide in and know my heart is better for knowing you and loving you. To Betty: You are like my Sister, you crazy silly woman I love you to pieces!! You make me laugh so hard I can barely breathe sometimes. Then I laugh harder because I am laughing. I sometimes forget why I am laughing but I always know you my sweet friend, bring joy and laughter to my life! My heart is always lifted and I never wanna leave when we have spent time together! Thank you for loving my tater tots as your own! You are a remarkable blessing and I love you and sweet Miss Angela with all my heart and soul and your sweet Cuban family as well! I am truly blessed to have walked in the bus lot all those years ago and was able to call you my friend!! 14 years later, you still make me laugh so hard I wanna cry! Love you Sis!!

Then there is Teri, girl what can I say about you other than I love you bunches and you truly have grown up with me, what was I like 14 or something when we met? Maybe younger who knows. I liked you from the very beginning and our friendship has grown so much through all these years! Love ya tons and I am so grateful you are coming back home so we can spend more time together. We have endured quite a lot in our years together and I am just thankful God has kept us together. Love you sweetie!!

Last but by no means least is my sweet friend Jenny! I cannot tell you how much your friendship means to me. You have been there for me the last few months when I cannot think straight, but you have stood by me! I love your kids and I love you very much! I am so thankful God brought you into my life! You mean the world to me! Now don't be upset I have no pictures of you but I think we need to remedy that! Love ya sweetie, thank you for being my friend! I know God will continue to bless this new friendship and I look forward to lots more time together. Thanks for loving all of us!

Also I must not forget a sweet young lady who recently came into our lives by way of our oldest son. Lizzie you have brought so much love and joy to Ernie's life and I am thankful that you are part of our lives as well. We all love you very much and are thankful you make Ernie happy. Look forward to spending more time with you and watching the two of you together as well. Love you sweetheart!!

Now just because I have not mentioned you by name on this blog please don't think I am not thankful for my other sweet friends and family out there. You all have played a special part of my life and I love you very much too. I just don't have room to put everyone on here. Although I would if I could get away with it! LOL :) Each of you have came into my life for a reason and I am so very thankful that you are part of my life. I pray that each one I have mentioned and each one I have not will know you have a special place in my heart and I pray will walk along side of us in this journey we call life and this journey of adoption. I love you all and am truly blessed more than I could ever imagine. Thank you Lord for you overflowing blessings and your faithfulness to love me through these people and through your word and our church family! I don't deserve these blessing but I am SO thankful for them!

Truly blessed today!! :) and thinking of my Ladybug as well :)