The Journey Begins!!!!!!!

Boy have I been waiting to say that for a LONG time!

I can announce with such joy and happiness that our adoption journey has begun! I have been praying and asking God for a long time to open doors and show us His Will to lead us down His path! He never ceases to amaze me! Things didn't go as we thought they should in the beginning because...well God didn't want us to go that way. So after prayer and much investigation we have followed His path and are moving full steam ahead with this adoption!!

I love that after 10 years of waiting and praying and watching. God picks the perfect time to say "Go"! This journey will not be without turmoil or frustration. But I know that the end will far outweigh everything we will face in the journey! We literally will hold His promises in our arms! To say we are excited is an understatement! We are over the moon!!

Our application has been sent in, a few fee's have been paid. We have done some preliminary paperwork and it gives us great joy to share with you an adoption term we have learned over the years because now our Homestudy begins! We are.....

which simply means we will begin gathering all the paperwork necessary (and its a LOT) to bring our daughter home to her forever family! God has not revealed who she is to us yet but we will be sure to share that with you as soon as we are able to. There are rules and all! But we are so giddy rules aren't bothering us at all! So come along with us on our journey to bring home our Ladybug!! We are in love with her already and do not even know her yet!! So thankful again for God's timing! Pay attention you never know what He may be asking you to do! No matter what it is just "Do Something!"

Join us on our journey as "baby" makes 6!

Lots of Love and Ladybugs!! :)

The Tarter Family! 

Teresa Bartlinski; What I learned from a Princess!!!

Teresa Bartlinski is a little heart warrior Angel adopted by the Bartlinski family. If you are on adoption blogs, or heart blogs I am sure you have heard of sweet little Teresa. Teresa's diagnosis in the orphanage was terminal. This sweet little one was born with "half a heart". Without proper care in the orphanage she should not have lived. BUT GOD, (don't you love it in the Bible when it says "but God? means He has more planned) had a wonderful plan for sweet little Teresa "Fang Fang". She was in Half the Sky orphanage and they were taking wonderful care of her but they could not give her the care she needed. All Teresa ever asked for was a family of her own, and she was determined and strong willed enough to fight to get that family. Half way across the world, the Bartlinski's heard of Teresa's plight, and was drawn to her. They prayed and asked for guidance, but all the guidance they needed was placed in their hearts by God. They knew little "Fang Fang" was to be their daughter. They were warned that she may not even make the flight home, her situation was so dire. However, those people did not know little Teresa the Princess Heart Warrior! She fought and she made it home with her forever family! Did I mention Teresa has 8 brothers and sisters?! 4 of which were special needs adoptions from China as well. Boy did she have a beautiful family waiting on her!! They all loved her very much! She fought through lots of surgeries and her  health issues were worse than they knew. Not only did Teresa need a new heart, but new lungs as well. A transplant would be critical, but dr's were afraid her little body could not handle a double transplant of both lungs and heart. One day last month God did a miracle in sweet little Teresa!

Her lungs somehow healed enough to be able to have the single transplant of her new little heart! Teresa was excited! She and her family took her packed bags and headed off to the hospital!

Teresa's whole life was a miracle and now they were asking God to do another miracle. Sweet little Teresa needed to have this heart work. 

But that wasn't the case, her "hero heart" was rejected. But Teresa fought on! She was bleeding and needed transfusions and her little chest cavity was just too small. The doctors decided that since her body had rejected this heart that she needed to be added to the top of the donor list again. In the mean time she needed to have her "hero heart" removed and put in the artificial berlin heart. Her Mommy's blog really tells this whole story in detail about all the fighting she did and how strong willed Teresa was. Here you can read the complete story. Her blog is Our Place Called Home. People all over the world prayed for Teresa last Monday when the berlin heart was being transplanted. We knew this could be it, exactly what she needed! Teresa was a Princess! Wore her Princess Teresa crown and ball gowns everywhere! So that day we all changed our profile pictures to something with Teresa on it, or something like this

to let her family know we were all praying and we wouldn't stop fighting for our little Princess and her heart!

Our sweet little Teresa fought and fought but her little body just could not handle it anymore. Teresa rode her  Princess bike without oxygen into the arms of Jesus on July 1, 2013 at 3:23 pm. Oh but she loved her Jesus! She knew Him and had accepted Him into her heart and life when she was just four years old! So Teresa had much joy knowing she would meet her Jesus one day! That day came sooner than anyone wanted. We know that she is safe and secure in His arms and that brings everyone comfort!

Now let me tell you what Teresa has done in my heart! I prayed for this little one for so long and asked others to pray for her as well. I knew she was a fighter! I never met her personally and don't know her parents but through her Mommy's blog and her video's and stories of Teresa I fell in love with her! Never have I prayed so drastically for someone I didn't know or hadn't met. I just felt God moving saying, keep praying! So I did! I am also a member of a group on Facebook that asked for prayers for this sweet one. I have to tell you I just watched God do some amazing things through this little one! Over 5,000 people were praying for her all over the world! Only God can use an orphan to bring together SO many people. It did not matter race, or religion or nationality, we just all prayed! And when Ann told us that Teresa went home to be with Jesus, I cried! My heart was broken. How could someone so little I have never known get into my heart like that? Only through our Jesus! She also put an urgency on my heart about our own adoption. Life is too short, kids need families. Some kids are in dire situations and need us to help them get the medical attention they so desperately need! We cannot stand by and let these children die when sometimes simple medical care is all they need. Won't you join us in advocating for these sweet ones?! Every child deserves a forever family just ask Teresa Bartlinski! See how much her family made a difference in her life, and even more important how much she made a difference in theirs! Imagine what she is doing for the Kingdom! Teresa we "Won't forget about you" sweet one! We love you MORE!!! Your whole life was a miracle!! 

In loving memory of Teresa Bartlinski the Little Princess Warrior who now resides with our King!

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

The Graduate...Tommy's Story

Ok I know I have not updated in awhile what the family has been up to so I thought I would start with our soon to be graduate!! Wait didn't I do this last year..oh yes we did! :) So in order to catch you up I must share a little bit of back ground about our youngest child...(so far ;) )

Tommy was born July 4th 1994 a beautiful healthy baby boy 9lbs 12 oz! Or so we thought. Delivery went well the day following went well, then the doctor came in with bad news. Tommy had not had his first movement. (Sorry not trying to be graphic but this is a huge part of his story, there is more of this to follow so bear with me please?) Being a mom for the 3rd time I was not to awful concerned until the Dr explained that this was not normal and that they needed to rush him to our nearest children's hospital 45 minutes away. I panicked! My hubby had went home to pick up our other 2 kiddo's so we could take pictures and then take Tommy home. That was not in the plan. As soon as he arrived with the kids and two other family members. I had to tell them they had sent Tommy by ambulance to the children's hospital (Thank You Lord for one being so close!) We were heartbroken.

When we arrived at C*H they quickly took us up to the NICU to see our son. He was all hooked up with wires and we had to scrub up to see him. This would not be the last time that happened. We spoke with the Dr's to see what the plan would be. They said they would do a procedure and he should be fine, nothing to bad but it would cause him to be able to get the meconium out and he would be great! We were so relieved! So everything was going good after that. We took him home and he did fine for a few days then it all happened again. We went back and forth to the dr but they couldn't figure it out. So we took him back to C*H to see what they thought. They ran some tests. One for CF the other for Hirschsprungs Disease. We waited for days to get results back but no one knew anything. Meanwhile my baby boy was suffering tremendously.

After Dr regiments for moving his bowels that didn't really seem to work we were just worried. Finally through a friend and we know by God's hand we found a pediatric surgeon. We went in to the office distraught and tired and confused and explained to him the situation. He immediately got on the phone and got the test results which were inconclusive. So he scheduled the 1st surgery for Tommy. A simple same day surgery to do a more invasive test. Keep in mind he is about 6 weeks old by this time. You don't really wanna hear the word invasive when it comes to a 1 1/2 month old. It took a week to get those results back. The Dr called in the middle of the day in the middle of the week and said words I will never forget, "You need to bring him in right now for surgery! If we wait any longer he may not make it."  Not to be graphic but by this time Tommy could not have a movement at all and when he did eat he would regurgitate it from his upper intestines. That day we found out Tommy indeed has Hirschsprungs Disease. It is a hereditary disorder of the intestines. I called my hubby who was at work 1 1/2 hrs away and he met us at the hospital. The surgery lasted 4 hours. Numbers I remember 4 hr surgery 7 week old, 3rd child. I did not understand why we were all going through this. IT was heart breaking sitting there waiting. They took out 8 inches of his Large Intestines and made a colostomy on the left side of his tummy, so tiny but so lifesaving! God was in the details let me tell you!!

 He would require an additional surgery that lasted 5 hours to reconnect his intestines  later on when he got bigger! That happened when he was 7 months old. God truly saved our sons life. There have been side effects to all this. Potty training was very hard and he has some other issues that can sometimes be funny or embarrassing. But if you know Tommy at all you know he makes those "issues" funny and just lets them roll off of him like they don't matter!

Next Post: Growing up with our Boy...now the graduate

Back in the swing of things

Ok I confess, I have been a horrible blogger lately. Time just gets away from me and I am exhausted some days. I am going to try and publish once a week as an update if anything else for awhile.

On the home front, our sweet daughter graduated in May, boy was that a crazy time. Lots of joy and lots of friends stopping by to say their "good-bye's", "I love-you's" and "Wish you well's" I will try and post some pics of the graduate soon. It was emotional for me. We are close, very close, and the thought of another one of my sweet one's heading off into this big world, worried me. She won't be going to far though, only about 45 minutes away. College is doable by staying home and commuting. She will be attending The Art Institute and Majoring in Baking and Pastry. Sounds yummy huh? Can't wait to be her gunniea pig lol!! No honest she is an awesome baker and does lovely work already. This will just make her even better!! So excited for her!!

Our oldest son has moved out on his own this weekend actually. He is NOT staying close however, a 2.5 hr drive away. He promises to stay in touch and keep his worried Momma in the loop. He'll be close to school and close to friends and he is happy and excited. I am sure I will be on my knee's quite often for him! Life is tough this world can be tough, so I am just praying that God will guide each step and that He will be honored in that. After all Ernie belongs to Him anyway, right?

Tommy is doing good. He is officially a Senior now! (see why all the emotions, lots of changes really quick!) He and his sister are at Youth camp this week and I am sure I will hear tons of stories when they return (my fav part!) I also pray they fall deeper in love with Jesus! Tommy has hurt his foot and has been in a walking boot for a few weeks, and in a few more weeks will require surgery. So if you could, remember to pray for our sweet kiddo and this surgery. He is a bit worried. He has been through more invasive surgeries when he was little, but he does not remember those. He has been at band camp the past few weeks and has one more week of it when he returns from Youth camp. I just ask myself where does the time go??!! Really??!!

My hubby is doing great, working tons but he loves the second job! We are doing all we can to get ahead and plan for this adoption! I don't think my heart could take a home without children in it for very long.

 My job is going well too. I just love the kids so much!! I have had to take some time of this past week because of an injury but its healing nicely (finally!) and I will be back to work tomorrow!! God has been so good to us and we are so thankful for His provisions and love! There have been days when I have been an emotional wreck for one reason or another, but he is unwavering in His love for me! So thankful that He never changes!! I was thinking today as Ernie left, and my heart was aching,....is this what God felt when He sent Jesus to be with us?? The heartache knowing the life He would lead, but the joy in the ending? I know life will be hard at times for Ernie, if it isn't he isn't walking with Jesus. I know Satan leaves us alone if we are complacent and life seems easy, but as soon as we are all in it for Jesus, life can get difficult at times. So I have comfort today, knowing that maybe God felt a little of what my heart feels for my son, when He sent His Son to pay the ultimate price for our sin. Thank you Lord for loving me that much!! There is good news in our family as well, cannot wait to share but I haven't quite been given permission to do that yet, but as soon as I can I will!!! God is SOOOOO good!! Did I mention I love sweet little ones?! Thank you Lord for the blessings of children! My own, and others as well!!

Love and Ladybugs!!

God's Healing Hands

I love how when your going through the thick of things in life, you know when its really tough, God makes His presence known! I want to share something vaguely that happened last week. The details aren't important but the outcome and suffering is, but God was with us. 

You have heard about my Mom and how she came to live with us after her open heart surgery in September. The conditions she was living in was not a healthy situation in all aspects, relationally, spiritually, and health wise. So after much conversation she decided to come live with us. She has done really well in every area. She started going to church with us and really getting to know God. It was wonderful. She also was doing better health wise and we were excited, it was exciting. She started visiting with friends and getting out there again. So last Sunday while visiting a friend, she called me. She told me she had made a decision (out of no where) that she was going back to the situation she was in before the surgery, including marriage. This situation was difficult when she first moved here because of the underlying issues but lets just say we were drug through the mud from the other party. It was heart wrenching to watch and to be a part of because it was not only her going through it but us as well, Satan was attacking. We had gotten through it and God had protected us all. So to receive that call Sunday, I was floored. She proceeded to move out on Monday and has not looked back. We were left......dare I say abandoned. I felt that way at least and I knew that I could not be a part of all that again. We had gone through so much and I could not put my family through it anymore. It came down to having to choose between that and her choices and my family. She is married now, they did that on Friday, and has not really had much to do with us since. I am not sure what happened or why but I know God has held us close to His heart this week.    

My kids are old enough to understand as much as there is to understand so they were kind of shocked and hurt too. They are better now, I however being her daughter have had an emotional roller coaster of a week. Here is the point in this. Its not to tell you what things we have been through or what choices we have made to bring this on, because really we didn't choose this. The point is, God knew it was coming and He stood next to us and even at times this week as held me and comforted me. 

I have really known what it feels like to be a daughter of The King this week. He has comforted me when I cried and lifted me up and encouraged me. Even today when she called and left a message that was not very kind, He comforted me right then. He reminded me that He has all this in his hands and that He loves me despite of all the pain I have been through in this and in my childhood with my parents. He is the ultimate Father! Who could ask for anyone better?! I feel    

like I have been through the stages of grief again like I did when my Dad passed away. I am telling you I just sobbed and sobbed for a few days, then I was angry and then sad and numb, and today, today with God's words in my heart I am beginning to heal. My friends have come along side me and prayed and loved on me. I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for. I really do believe that God gives you friends to help to stand in the gap where your family chooses to not stand with you. So I have come to understand this week that this was a choice she made and that I have no say so in it, it is NOT my responsibility to make her choices and choose how to treat me. It is my responsibility to walk a Christian life and honor my Heavenly Father in all this. He has revealed things to me and shown me He is really what I need above everything else or anyone else. I am so thankful that HE loves me enough to stand with me and to send others to love on me and help me heal. And I am so thankful for my husband, children, brother, sister and nephew that loves me unconditionally, and friends who are like family to me.I wish I could say that about everyone but that is unfortunately not the case. I am ever more thankful that God through my life and sin and bad choices that He loves me anyway, and He loves her too. So now we have decided to move forward, one foot in front of the other. When the days get difficult I will lean on Him above anyone and anything else. Thank you Father!! Thank you!! He reminds me "I will love you for you, not what you've done or what you have become, I will love you for you!" What He has MADE me for and made me to be, to love Him and worship Him and that is what I will do with ALL my heart!!

Thankful for my blessings

Lots going on around here. Hubby and our youngest at scout camp. Our college boy just got back from a canoe trip with our college ministry. Our daughter is still going strong at band camp. Tommy is missing out this week because of scout camp but I think he is probably suffering in this heat a bit down there. In the middle of all this, there are still things going on. Dr's appointments, dentist appointments, enrollment for school filled out and ready for next week. Then the normal things families have to do, oh and yeah I forgot, I am packing up a storm! 11 days till we move!! Talk about crazy! So I am sitting here thinking of all the things I am thankful for.

My husband, who has stood by me for all these years, (20+) how could I not be thankful for him?! He is something else. You who know him, know what I mean. I told him the other day that I mentioned him in my blog and he said "Me? why would anyone want to hear about me? I am NOT important!" Then he smiled that ornery smile of his and went on about what he was doing. When my life gets crazy or I begin to over think things, he brings me back to where I need to be and reminds me everything will be alright. Wish he was here right now to remind me of that, I am just a bit freaked out! He makes me laugh, makes me smile, makes me crazy but he is my best friend and my perfect mate! He is a godly role model for our children and loves us so very much! I am SO thankful to God for him. See this is my blog so I can brag all I want about him and he can't do a thing about it! :) Love you honey!!

Then of course I am thankful for my kids! They are all special in their own way and have made my life better just by being my kids! They too make me laugh, make me cry, make me crazy, but bring so much joy to our home. I can honestly say I would not be the same person without them in my life. Even their constant picking on me out of fun about how short I am, makes me smile! They bring so much depth and sincerity to my life, things I would have never imagined discussing with them, has come up. It just makes my heart happy to know they feel they can come to me about anything. I love the sound of teenagers in my house! Well for that matter, the sound of any kids in my house! My kids make my heart grow fuller with love every single day! Love you all bunches!!

Also thankful for my brother and sis in law and my sweet nephew Jake! What a joy it is to have them in my life! Words cannot express how much I love them or how much they mean to me. Tony and Autum and I have practically grown up together! We have been through things only families that love each other can endure. Then sweet little Jake came along and just brightened our world even more. I love that boy to pieces!! He reminds me of his daddy quite often when he was little. Thank you Lord for the blessing of these three. My life would not be complete and my heart would not be whole without them! Love you always you three!!! So blessed to have you in our lives!

Then of course my Mom and Bud's parents! Life would not be complete without parents! Thank you for guiding us and standing by us! And for loving us even when we were not so lovable and even when you did not understand us. We are blessed and thankful and love you very much! And I am also thankful for my Dad who is not with us anymore, he went to be with Jesus in 1994 but is forever part of my life and in my thoughts and on my heart! Love ya Dad! Miss you tons! All these people have taught me the best they know how, how to be an adult! Thank you for that!

Then there are those in your life who you cannot begin to imagine how they came to choose you as their friends but are blessed everyday to know they are there for you no matter what. God just somehow brought them into your life for a reason. There are time I cannot begin to imagine my life without them, when did I NOT know them. Seems they have always been there. Seems they have always cared. Not only about me, but about my husband and my kids and that for me is priceless! So to my very special friends out there who have stood by us through all these years. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and I love you very much! To The Landis's, seems we have been friends since the very first time we met! God just brought us together and we clicked! Our kids love each other and get along great with each other and we always had something in common or something we just HAD to do together! What would our lives be like if our sweet little girls had not met each other way back in kindergarten? My life would NOT be the same. Thank you for loving us and caring about us and understanding the depths of our hearts! We love you SO SO SO very much and I know our friendship must have been ordained in heaven because otherwise you would never have any reason to stick by us all this time. I love you all very much and it is my privilege to watch your sweet kids grow into remarkable godly young adults! Thank you for allowing us to be your friends and allowing us to be part of your lives! Your the best!!

Then there are some other friends whom I confide in and know my heart is better for knowing you and loving you. To Betty: You are like my Sister, you crazy silly woman I love you to pieces!! You make me laugh so hard I can barely breathe sometimes. Then I laugh harder because I am laughing. I sometimes forget why I am laughing but I always know you my sweet friend, bring joy and laughter to my life! My heart is always lifted and I never wanna leave when we have spent time together! Thank you for loving my tater tots as your own! You are a remarkable blessing and I love you and sweet Miss Angela with all my heart and soul and your sweet Cuban family as well! I am truly blessed to have walked in the bus lot all those years ago and was able to call you my friend!! 14 years later, you still make me laugh so hard I wanna cry! Love you Sis!!

Then there is Teri, girl what can I say about you other than I love you bunches and you truly have grown up with me, what was I like 14 or something when we met? Maybe younger who knows. I liked you from the very beginning and our friendship has grown so much through all these years! Love ya tons and I am so grateful you are coming back home so we can spend more time together. We have endured quite a lot in our years together and I am just thankful God has kept us together. Love you sweetie!!

Last but by no means least is my sweet friend Jenny! I cannot tell you how much your friendship means to me. You have been there for me the last few months when I cannot think straight, but you have stood by me! I love your kids and I love you very much! I am so thankful God brought you into my life! You mean the world to me! Now don't be upset I have no pictures of you but I think we need to remedy that! Love ya sweetie, thank you for being my friend! I know God will continue to bless this new friendship and I look forward to lots more time together. Thanks for loving all of us!

Also I must not forget a sweet young lady who recently came into our lives by way of our oldest son. Lizzie you have brought so much love and joy to Ernie's life and I am thankful that you are part of our lives as well. We all love you very much and are thankful you make Ernie happy. Look forward to spending more time with you and watching the two of you together as well. Love you sweetheart!!

Now just because I have not mentioned you by name on this blog please don't think I am not thankful for my other sweet friends and family out there. You all have played a special part of my life and I love you very much too. I just don't have room to put everyone on here. Although I would if I could get away with it! LOL :) Each of you have came into my life for a reason and I am so very thankful that you are part of my life. I pray that each one I have mentioned and each one I have not will know you have a special place in my heart and I pray will walk along side of us in this journey we call life and this journey of adoption. I love you all and am truly blessed more than I could ever imagine. Thank you Lord for you overflowing blessings and your faithfulness to love me through these people and through your word and our church family! I don't deserve these blessing but I am SO thankful for them!

Truly blessed today!! :) and thinking of my Ladybug as well :)