Forward

Happy New Year everyone!
I am going to try and do better about updating my blog. I have tons on my heart to share, just need to let it flow through God first.

So time for the New Year's resolution stuff right? Nope! I have tried that in the past and to no avail, fail miserably. So last year I tried something new and it worked! Choose one word and focus on that word for the whole year. Allow it to change your life and penetrate the walls of whatever you may be holding back.

My word last year was TRUST! God was telling me to choose to Trust Him.

I thought OK this could be a little hard, but it's God who else better to trust. The first part of the year was going great! Life was moving right along and trust seemed easy.

Then April came and my world began to fall apart, not very quickly so I just continued to trust. As the worries and strains of life piled ever more tediously on top of me I felt I was going under. God gave me a little somewhat of a reprieve when I just flung it at His feet and said "I TRUST You Lord I cannot do this anymore." That was October, but slowly I began to sink again as the pile began to grow again. I kept reaching for Him but could not SEE Him for the storms whirling around me. He of course was still there, the hope was still there, but my joy was being squashed. Then Christmas came and try as I might all I could do was focus on Him solely. I couldn't see the season, nor the joy, nor even the things that go along with it. I felt spiritual, physically, and mentally sick. I just kept reaching for Him and pleading with Him to remind me He was there. There were little glimpses that would lift my spirits but nothing to pull me completely out of the muck. Christmas for me was just sad, I could barely function, just went through the motions. Then I read something about Mary being so young and frightened and feeling so alone during her pregnancy with Jesus. She had HIM growing inside of her and was feeling the same as I was. I mean WOW! He was right there with her.

It reminded me

He is STILL right here with me.

TRUST HIM to make it through these storms.

He has always been there before, why would He not be here still?! You know what I had forgotten? You know what I had done? Listened to the enemies lies. "He has left you, you aren't good enough, why would He rescue you again?, You're not worthy." Then I got mad! Satan had made the wrong person mad I had enough!

I am a child of the ONE TRUE King HE lives inside of me!

His love, His power, His trust, right there inside me!

I had forgotten to "get out of the way" and let HIM be, HIM!

I knew I could not do any of what I was facing on my own, but He could do it all!

Proverbs 3:5-6 kept coming to mind "Trust in the Lord, with ALL your heart, lean NOT on your own understanding. In all your ways ACKNOWLEDGE Him and HE will make your path straight."

See that had nothing to do with me, this was all about HIM! Trusting HIM, allowing HIM to unfold His plans for me. Stop trying to do it on my own. And as I let go completely this time, things have gotten a little bit better. I can breathe a little. It's not all solved but I am still trusting Him to work all things according to His glory, for those who love Him (Rom 8:28). I will carry this trust into the new year.

He gave me a new word just this morning for this new year. That is just how God is, He won't leave you where you are. He wants to make us better. So as I thought of what my word could be this year, He just kept whispering this word.

We are no longer going to live "back there" in the past. It is time to move Forward. Not going to dwell on all the mistakes and all the heartache. We are going to go FORWARD and see what new things He has in store for me. Hang on, not to tightly lest I boast, to all the great things that happened and love that was shared. But walk in freedom and move Forward! This scripture comes to mind actually its been hurled at me multiple times today! :-) Love when God does that!

Isaiah 43:18-19 "Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new. Now it will spring forth;Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the dessert."

There it is right from His heart. Let go of the past, move forward and watch what I will do in your hard times. Beauty from ashes! A new thing!! I cannot wait! I am on board and excited to SEE what this "new thing" is! Knowing God like I do, it will be fabulous and ALL for His glory! Hang on friends! Allow Him to change you like He has me. Pick your word for the year. No resolutions that you cannot stick to, just one word. Allow God to use that word to make you new! Forward here I come!

lyrics to a beautiful song we sing in church, guess what the name of it is....

Moving Forward

Oh, hey, what a moment You have brought me to?
Such a freedom I have found in You
You're the healer who makes all things new, yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to You my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward, oh

You have risen with all power in Your hands
You have given me a second chance
Hallelujah, hallelujah, yeah, yeah, yeah


I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to You my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
moving forward

Not going back, moving ahead
Here to declare to You, my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward


You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward, oh
You make all things new
You make all things new and I will follow You forward

You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward
You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward

I will follow You forward!

Happy New Year! Lots of love and Ladybugs! :-)

My Thanksgiving Post

This is my thankful post! Not for the "things" I am thankful for. Things just fade, we cannot hang on to things. So we fix our eyes on what is eternal! Today I am choosing to share my thankfulness for the people who have helped shape my walk with Christ the eternal stuff!

When I was 10 years old I accepted Jesus in a Baptist Church in Lucedale MS. The Pastor just loved on me through my brokenness and showed me Jesus. Now you have to understand I only got a bit of church back then. I do believe throughout my life though The Holy Spirit led me even when I was unaware. You see I knew Jesus but I didn't have a relationship with Him. I hadn't fallen in love with His word, or Him yet. There were people throughout my young life that would plant little seeds to remind me Jesus loved me during the tough times. My moral compass would always keep me on the right track too. Looking back I know that was Jesus as well.

Bud and I were married in a small Baptist church in Butler. I do believe at that point is when Jesus truly began to mold our hearts towards Him. Although we were not listening, there was something there. How else do you explain how we got through all the hurt and loss at the beginning of our marriage! Then we moved here to Blue Springs and God just got a hold of me and persisted that we get to church. We started going on Sunday to First Baptist and just sat in the balcony...at the back....at the very, very top! It was a picture of our lives, we were afraid of all this. But as Pastor Paul began to preach we felt as though God was talking right through him. Y'all know how He does that?! So as we got "closer" to God we began to get closer to the front of the church. I find this hilarious looking back! Each week we would move a little closer to the front of the church. First to the front of the balcony, then to the back of the lower section. Eventually moving forward till like Jesus in our hearts we were at peace! Jesus kept talking through Paul and we kept falling in love with Jesus! We then took the "Bases" class or the membership class at church. (I cannot help but think that maybe Joey had a hand in naming it! Always disciplining, always tying baseball in. I could be wrong though) We also started going to bible study on Wednesday night with Joey Butler. He would tell it like it was, never beating around the bush. His heart was full of urgency and love! He would make us laugh, make us think, but more importantly gave us a love for Scripture and in turn for Jesus! I will never forget that man as long as I live! OH how I will miss him! My life is forever changed by him, and the others I am SO thankful for. I have some Joey stories I will be sharing later.

We began to attend Sunday School with Bob and Libby Comfort, those two people just set you on fire for Jesus and loved on us as a young couple who didn't know a thing! That is where I met my dear dear friend Stephanie and her awesome hubby Kip! As well as Greg and Ally Massey love their hearts for Jesus! And for the Orphan!!! That class got so big because Bob and Libby are awesome, so we had to branch out! In comes our fearless leader Brian and the lovely Marne. They allowed me to start to share my heart about Jesus and in turn helped my husband to accept Christ as well! Connie and Tim, Karin and Ron, Kimberly and Jeff plus numerous others in that class helped to mold us as well! I will forever be grateful for my "roots" being planted deep in the word in this class! In the mean time we always had Pastor Jerry keeping us on track as well!

Then for my kids and then eventually us as we began to help with the Children's Ministry was the lovely and wonderful Ms. Shirley! There are not enough words to describe my love and gratitude I have for this wonderful Godly woman! I just love and adore her! She is like my spiritual Mom and my kids Spiritual Grandmother! She has helped our kids love Jesus. They were always SO excited to go see Ms. Shirley and I am sure there were times they drove her crazy. Ah but being the woman she is, she never let that show! She just loved on them like crazy and has maintained that relationship with them as adults. We just simply and equivocally adore her with all that we are! She is the picture perfect example of Jesus! To this day she always has that beautiful smile on her face and love just radiates out of her! We are so thankful to Leo for sharing her with us all these years!

Through the years we just continued to serve in any way we could and allowed God to stretch us. In these years He has given us a huge heart for the Orphan and for Christian Music and to just worship. About 7 years ago God began another awesome work and brought Pastor Randall and Donna and Brooks to our church to just love on the people! This family has a special place in my heart because just like those before them they invested into our lives and our children's lives personally! Love you so much!!! Thank you for your love and gifts that you share daily! We are so blessed! Course then because I have a heart for worship Lee and Casey have truly opened up doors in my heart that I did not know were there! Thank you to you both for allowing us to just simply WORSHIP our Jesus! Your hearts for Him are so evident in what you do and how you treat us and each other! Oh you make us laugh, and love and cry (good tears) but oh you open our hearts for worship!!! Those are not just words we sing, those are prayers and praises to The Father!! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You give your all for Him and too Him, and to us! There are no words but we love you and appreciate you so much!!!

Then recently there is our life group! So many wonderful people in this group! Thank you for your hospitality and love for The Father! For sharing that with us. There is no condemnation or judgement going on in this group, just an evident love for others and more importantly for Jesus! Thank you Robin and Steve, Sharon and Greg, Karen, Melanie, Susan and Brian and everyone else in this group that just invests in each other and the Kingdom! Blessed beyond measure!!

There is also two other people who are our dearest friends Lisa and Mike! We truly have walked through this faith thing together. No matter our differences at the heart of our relationship is that we ALL love Jesus!! That has gotten us through everything! Thank you for your continued investments into our lives! There are not enough words to say thank you enough! Love you for eternity!

One other person I cannot help but thank is my sweetheart Bud. Your love for Jesus is so evident, from the day you and the kids were baptized together! (Best day of my life besides when I accepted Christ) to the everyday, mundane, day to day walk. Jesus is always there in you! Thank you for sharing Him with me and helping me to fall more in love with Him daily! I love you SO!! For the kids too! You know I adore you!!

There are tons more people out there who have invested in our lives to help us love Jesus if I didn't mention you please don't think you weren't important I just cannot remember everyone off the top of my head! You know what that means? I go to a church that everyone invests in each other and shares the love of the Father!! So thankful for that! We truly are about "being the church" So thankful today!!

Remember life is short, take time to tell those you love how you feel and what they mean to you. You may not get a second chance! Thank you all for your investment into my walk with Christ! I am forever changed!!!!

Blessings and Ladybugs :)

Teresa Bartlinski; What I learned from a Princess!!!

Teresa Bartlinski is a little heart warrior Angel adopted by the Bartlinski family. If you are on adoption blogs, or heart blogs I am sure you have heard of sweet little Teresa. Teresa's diagnosis in the orphanage was terminal. This sweet little one was born with "half a heart". Without proper care in the orphanage she should not have lived. BUT GOD, (don't you love it in the Bible when it says "but God? means He has more planned) had a wonderful plan for sweet little Teresa "Fang Fang". She was in Half the Sky orphanage and they were taking wonderful care of her but they could not give her the care she needed. All Teresa ever asked for was a family of her own, and she was determined and strong willed enough to fight to get that family. Half way across the world, the Bartlinski's heard of Teresa's plight, and was drawn to her. They prayed and asked for guidance, but all the guidance they needed was placed in their hearts by God. They knew little "Fang Fang" was to be their daughter. They were warned that she may not even make the flight home, her situation was so dire. However, those people did not know little Teresa the Princess Heart Warrior! She fought and she made it home with her forever family! Did I mention Teresa has 8 brothers and sisters?! 4 of which were special needs adoptions from China as well. Boy did she have a beautiful family waiting on her!! They all loved her very much! She fought through lots of surgeries and her  health issues were worse than they knew. Not only did Teresa need a new heart, but new lungs as well. A transplant would be critical, but dr's were afraid her little body could not handle a double transplant of both lungs and heart. One day last month God did a miracle in sweet little Teresa!

Her lungs somehow healed enough to be able to have the single transplant of her new little heart! Teresa was excited! She and her family took her packed bags and headed off to the hospital!

Teresa's whole life was a miracle and now they were asking God to do another miracle. Sweet little Teresa needed to have this heart work. 

But that wasn't the case, her "hero heart" was rejected. But Teresa fought on! She was bleeding and needed transfusions and her little chest cavity was just too small. The doctors decided that since her body had rejected this heart that she needed to be added to the top of the donor list again. In the mean time she needed to have her "hero heart" removed and put in the artificial berlin heart. Her Mommy's blog really tells this whole story in detail about all the fighting she did and how strong willed Teresa was. Here you can read the complete story. Her blog is Our Place Called Home. People all over the world prayed for Teresa last Monday when the berlin heart was being transplanted. We knew this could be it, exactly what she needed! Teresa was a Princess! Wore her Princess Teresa crown and ball gowns everywhere! So that day we all changed our profile pictures to something with Teresa on it, or something like this

to let her family know we were all praying and we wouldn't stop fighting for our little Princess and her heart!

Our sweet little Teresa fought and fought but her little body just could not handle it anymore. Teresa rode her  Princess bike without oxygen into the arms of Jesus on July 1, 2013 at 3:23 pm. Oh but she loved her Jesus! She knew Him and had accepted Him into her heart and life when she was just four years old! So Teresa had much joy knowing she would meet her Jesus one day! That day came sooner than anyone wanted. We know that she is safe and secure in His arms and that brings everyone comfort!

Now let me tell you what Teresa has done in my heart! I prayed for this little one for so long and asked others to pray for her as well. I knew she was a fighter! I never met her personally and don't know her parents but through her Mommy's blog and her video's and stories of Teresa I fell in love with her! Never have I prayed so drastically for someone I didn't know or hadn't met. I just felt God moving saying, keep praying! So I did! I am also a member of a group on Facebook that asked for prayers for this sweet one. I have to tell you I just watched God do some amazing things through this little one! Over 5,000 people were praying for her all over the world! Only God can use an orphan to bring together SO many people. It did not matter race, or religion or nationality, we just all prayed! And when Ann told us that Teresa went home to be with Jesus, I cried! My heart was broken. How could someone so little I have never known get into my heart like that? Only through our Jesus! She also put an urgency on my heart about our own adoption. Life is too short, kids need families. Some kids are in dire situations and need us to help them get the medical attention they so desperately need! We cannot stand by and let these children die when sometimes simple medical care is all they need. Won't you join us in advocating for these sweet ones?! Every child deserves a forever family just ask Teresa Bartlinski! See how much her family made a difference in her life, and even more important how much she made a difference in theirs! Imagine what she is doing for the Kingdom! Teresa we "Won't forget about you" sweet one! We love you MORE!!! Your whole life was a miracle!! 

In loving memory of Teresa Bartlinski the Little Princess Warrior who now resides with our King!

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

I Refuse

I admit it, I am a music lover!! Love it to my core! God made me to love all types of music, but when we get down to it Christian music touches my soul! I can't imagine going through one day without music. I love to listen to it, I love to sing it! I love to sing it so much that I cannot listen to it while going to bed, otherwise I just lie awake and sing! God gets me through each day with music, and He speaks to me through music more than anywhere else. So what better than to combine what Scripture says with music. The perfect combination! As most of you know I have a heart for orphans and adoption. God calls us to look after orphans and widows, that He is the Father to the fatherless. We are suppose to take up this cause, I believe more than anything. These are children who need loving families, to share with them what you have, the simple every day things. Not necessarily extravagant things, these kiddo's normally have nothing, so what you offer them is their basic necessities met. More important you offer them love of a family, and if you are a believer the love of our Jesus! What could be easier! If God calls you to adopt, then believe me when I say this, He will move mountains to make sure it happens. Will it be easy? Absolutely not! Will it be worth it? I believe YES with every fiber of my being! Children deserve to be in a forever family, no matter the circumstances.

This song was written by Josh Wilson and it should be ALL of our hearts cries! I am refusing! Will you refuse with me??? (You can hear it on my playlist at the bottom of the blog)

Sometimes I

I just want to close my eyes

And act like everyone's alright

When I know they're not

This world needs God

But it's easier to stand and watch

I could say a prayer and just move on

Like nothing's wrong

But I refuse

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care

I don't want to say another empty prayer

Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else

To do what God has called me to do myself

Oh, I could choose

Not to move but I refuse

I can hear the least of these

Crying out so desperately

And I know we are the hands and feet

Of You, oh God

So, if You say move

It's time for me to follow through

And do what I was made to do

Show them who You are

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care

I don't want to say another empty prayer

Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else

To do what God has called me to do myself

Oh, I could choose

Not to move but I refuse

To stand and watch the weary and lost

Cry out for help

I refuse to turn my back

And try and act like all is well

I refuse to stay unchanged

To wait another day, to die to myself

I refuse to make one more excuse

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care

I don't want to say another empty prayer

Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else

To do what God has called me to do myself

Oh, I could choose

Not to move but I refuse

I refuse

I refuse

To learn more about how you can help an orphan find a forever family visit Show Hope an orphan ministry from Steven Curtis Chapman and his family after they adopted, or visit America World Adoption  or any other number of Adoption Agencies.

Won't you answer the call of the cry of the fatherless?

Looking forward to sharing our adoption journey as it unfolds.


Love and Ladybugs :)

Turning 40

I don't normally do a blog about me but in a little over a week I will turn 40! I have had some time to reflect on this a bit so I wanted to share what has been rolling around in my little head. I was the first born to my parents. you wouldn't know it now but weighing in at a whopping 7lbs 7.5 oz born with Strabismus but those eyes of blue seem to be for me my only source of beauty growing up.

Then not too long after I was born God blessed me with one of my greatest gifts of my life, my little brother Tony! We walked through lots of things together that I know I wouldn't have gotten through without him!

Then when I turned 16 another gift was given to me.

God decided then that I would meet the man whom I would marry and share my life with! Boy did He pick the right guy for me! 

We truly have "done" life together! We grew up together and learned about each other in the process. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good but we never gave up on each other!

He has been there with me when life was so dark and I didn't think I could go on, to every joy I can think of that God provided during the dark times.

God also blessed us when we were very young with the beginning of our family. Now there are times when people look at me and say, "No you can't be almost 40" and I cringe. You know why? Because we started our family young but I have loved and laughed and struggled and enjoyed every minute of it. I feel like I earned this 40. That I am not a young naive woman, because God has brought me through HARD stuff and I feel as if that has made me more mature and understanding for my age. It makes me feel as if I don't deserve to be the Mom of a 22 year old.

We truly have done life together as well. He has a wonderful heart and loves to help others and share Jesus like nobody's business! I am PROUD to be this man's Momma! I adore his hugs and the way he honors me with his respect and love!

Then there is my sweet girl who is like my best friend who is a proud 20 year old! Who is silly and funny and beautiful and has such a tender heart. She is ALL girl and you can see that in all she does. She is not afraid to get dirty though or work hard. She too loves Jesus and does not put up with anyone making fun of her Lord.

She loves to have fun and be silly

And she is my Women of Faith Buddy!!

You know when you have two kids and you think, this is about perfect. Thank you God! And then He laughs and says "Oh wait, you are not finished, I am about to bring you so much joy you can't stand it" That is exactly what He did when He blessed us with this guy!

He is my cuddle buddy! My laughter and my joy! He drives me crazy and brings me frustration, but oh how he loves to make "all things better mama". When I cry he wipes my tears in a way only he can and hugs me in his special way! I love this guy! God always knows what He is doing when He gives you kiddo's. My kids for the most part are nothing alike, however they do have some things that totally tie them together. They love Jesus, their parents and helping others! I could not be more proud to be their Mom!

God has also blessed me with some more people in my life that I know makes each day better!

Started with these guys! My sweet brother and "sis" and nephew! Oh but remember what I said when God picks your kiddo's for you? He wasn't done with them either! They added this guy!

Isn't he sweet!! I am so glad to be an aunt!! I adore my nephews and they bring such joy and happiness to my life!

God must love me an awful lot to bring them into my life!

I mean look at their Daddy!! (we were playing, posing for this pic like when we were little!) We laughed so hard when we were done!

So looking at 40 makes me think about half my life being over! Then I remember its only HALF over! God has so much more for us. He loves us so much and has walked through some of the darkest days and the brightest ones with us!

And you know what I have learned over the last year. He LOVES ME! With all my baggage and all my past and even my future!

No matter what mistakes I make or how much I mess up, He still loves ME! He made ME, He knit ME together!

He loves me just the way I am! I am His creation and He who began a good work in me will carry on to completion in Jesus!

And He sent me people to love me through this life, even when I couldn't do it alone! Or when I thought I WAS alone!

I know I am blessed!! I know I am loved not only by those God sent in my life as family, but my friends as well. To all of you who have stood beside me through all the years. Those who know my heart, my best and my worst, that know what I struggle with and how I love, those who have never left me because life got hard. I just want to say "Thank you! and I love you!"

So here is to the next 40 years and what God has in store for us! We cannot wait!! Join us as we watch His plans unfold for us!

And again I just want to say how blessed I am that God took that shy little girl who would not open up to anyone with all my fear and troubles, and blessed me with all these wonderful people. Blessing me also with something that He planted in my heart that will bring Him glory and honor and will help bring awareness to the Orphan crisis all over the world! Every child deserves a home!! Won't you help us in bringing awareness to the plight of the orphan? James 1:27 tells us to "Look after orphans and widows in their distress." That is what we will do, follow God's word and His plan for our life!! 

Here is to another 40 years! May these be better than the last and may He be glorified more in my life in the future, than He has been in the past!!

Blessings, and joy, and smiles, and laughter, and lots and lots of  Ladybugs!! :)