I am going to try and do better about updating my blog. I have tons on my heart to share, just need to let it flow through God first.
So time for the New Year's resolution stuff right? Nope! I have tried that in the past and to no avail, fail miserably. So last year I tried something new and it worked! Choose one word and focus on that word for the whole year. Allow it to change your life and penetrate the walls of whatever you may be holding back.
My word last year was TRUST! God was telling me to choose to Trust Him.
I thought OK this could be a little hard, but it's God who else better to trust. The first part of the year was going great! Life was moving right along and trust seemed easy.
Then April came and my world began to fall apart, not very quickly so I just continued to trust. As the worries and strains of life piled ever more tediously on top of me I felt I was going under. God gave me a little somewhat of a reprieve when I just flung it at His feet and said "I TRUST You Lord I cannot do this anymore." That was October, but slowly I began to sink again as the pile began to grow again. I kept reaching for Him but could not SEE Him for the storms whirling around me. He of course was still there, the hope was still there, but my joy was being squashed. Then Christmas came and try as I might all I could do was focus on Him solely. I couldn't see the season, nor the joy, nor even the things that go along with it. I felt spiritual, physically, and mentally sick. I just kept reaching for Him and pleading with Him to remind me He was there. There were little glimpses that would lift my spirits but nothing to pull me completely out of the muck. Christmas for me was just sad, I could barely function, just went through the motions. Then I read something about Mary being so young and frightened and feeling so alone during her pregnancy with Jesus. She had HIM growing inside of her and was feeling the same as I was. I mean WOW! He was right there with her.
It reminded me
He is STILL right here with me.
TRUST HIM to make it through these storms.
He has always been there before, why would He not be here still?! You know what I had forgotten? You know what I had done? Listened to the enemies lies. "He has left you, you aren't good enough, why would He rescue you again?, You're not worthy." Then I got mad! Satan had made the wrong person mad I had enough!
I am a child of the ONE TRUE King HE lives inside of me!
His love, His power, His trust, right there inside me!
I had forgotten to "get out of the way" and let HIM be, HIM!
I knew I could not do any of what I was facing on my own, but He could do it all!
Proverbs 3:5-6 kept coming to mind "Trust in the Lord, with ALL your heart, lean NOT on your own understanding. In all your ways ACKNOWLEDGE Him and HE will make your path straight."
See that had nothing to do with me, this was all about HIM! Trusting HIM, allowing HIM to unfold His plans for me. Stop trying to do it on my own. And as I let go completely this time, things have gotten a little bit better. I can breathe a little. It's not all solved but I am still trusting Him to work all things according to His glory, for those who love Him (Rom 8:28). I will carry this trust into the new year.
He gave me a new word just this morning for this new year. That is just how God is, He won't leave you where you are. He wants to make us better. So as I thought of what my word could be this year, He just kept whispering this word.
We are no longer going to live "back there" in the past. It is time to move Forward. Not going to dwell on all the mistakes and all the heartache. We are going to go FORWARD and see what new things He has in store for me. Hang on, not to tightly lest I boast, to all the great things that happened and love that was shared. But walk in freedom and move Forward! This scripture comes to mind actually its been hurled at me multiple times today! :-) Love when God does that!
Isaiah 43:18-19 "Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new. Now it will spring forth;Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the dessert."
There it is right from His heart. Let go of the past, move forward and watch what I will do in your hard times. Beauty from ashes! A new thing!! I cannot wait! I am on board and excited to SEE what this "new thing" is! Knowing God like I do, it will be fabulous and ALL for His glory! Hang on friends! Allow Him to change you like He has me. Pick your word for the year. No resolutions that you cannot stick to, just one word. Allow God to use that word to make you new! Forward here I come!
lyrics to a beautiful song we sing in church, guess what the name of it is....
Happy New Year! Lots of love and Ladybugs! :-)