Sunday, November 9, 2014

We have a daughter! Part 2

After getting our girls file in our email and waiting patiently for Bud to get home, we opened up what would change our lives!

We began looking over her file and talking and praying. Our girl was in jeopardy of her file being sent back to Ch*na so we needed to make a decision on all this information given whether God was telling us she was ours or not. The file could be sent back any day and without putting it on hold or locking it in there may be no way to find her again. So we took the weekend, seemed like a very long weekend to me, to decide. At first we discussed in full but then we just needed time on our own and then together and then again on our own to see what God was saying. By Sunday night I was sure she was ours. My beloved however needed more time. He left for work Sunday afternoon and my heart was heavy. I just pleaded with God to speak to his heart and make it clear what His Will was. I truly felt the spiritual battle going on in my heart. Bud promised to pray and just seek what it was the Lord was telling him. I gave him the time needed.


Monday morning rolled around and I needed to get some professionals to take a look at her file. I needed to know what we would be dealing with if/when she was ours. So I got on the phone to specialists and then close friends who had friends with medical knowledge. The weird thing was I didn't care to much about what they said in making this decision. I knew in my heart she was ours. I did care however for their opinion on how we would take care of her when we got home. People always told me that once you know the child is yours, the special need won't matter, and won't be what you see. They were right!!

I got a few answers from some medical personnel, but the info I needed from our local children's hospital was not forthcoming quickly. We knew we were in a time crunch to decide but we were trusting God in all this. Bud was still undecided, lots of things on his heart. By Tuesday morning I just said "Honey what is God telling you?" He asked what it took to lock her file in, I said we needed to decide first if she was ours! That was his way of saying, "Honey I think she is ours." So we called our agency and said please put her on hold while we gather (even more) paperwork for her LOI (Letter of Intent) to adopt her. The clock began to tick quickly we had 72 hours to be sure AND to gather all this paperwork.


Being that we are towards the end of our Home Study there was a few things left to do that we hadn't done yet because of timing. But now all of a sudden those things needed to be done within 72 hours. One place we needed copies of something, their computers were down. Then we called our dr's to see if we could get our medical's and found out (without a prior letter from them) that the practice had disbursed! Just as we thought "OK, maybe she isn't ours" our agency called and said that since we were healthy adults that we just needed a letter signed saying that and could get the medical later, as well as a letter to replace the one needed from the place that the computers were down. Just like that God made the impossible POSSIBLE! Oh how he loves us! I stayed up till late that night filling out these pages of paperwork in order NOT to loose our daughter. Sent them to our Case Worker and fell into bed tired but at peace. I would have to wait till the next morning to see if I had done it right!


Email in my inbox Wednesday morning said "We have sent off your LOI for this sweet little girl" now to wait for PA (pre-approval) from Ch*na saying it was OK to move forward with this adoption and that yes indeed she was our girl! Agency said 2 weeks, so we settled in! We weren't in a hurry but knew waiting was just part of this whole thing. You always seem to hurry and wait. We had another Home Study visit the following Wednesday and spoke with our Social Worker about the waiting. She had recently adopted and said it took the full two weeks to get her PA back, and not to be anxious. I thanked her for her knowledge and her help along the way! We truly are blessed with an amazing Agency and Social Worker for our Home Study! Many of you who have adopted in our area have had the same Social Worker so you know what I mean! She is simply heaven sent! Grateful for her!

The following day I was at a sweet friends house doing what I love to do every week, and Bud was at work driving his long drive home. He happened to call me and asked if I had gotten an email. I said "No, should I've?" He said "You better check your email then call me back." I said "OK? is everything alright?" He said "Just go check!" So I hung up but before I could get to the email I had a voice mail. I clicked on the voice mail and the sweetest voice on the other end of the line said words that would change my life forever and bring me to my knees in tears and praise! My caseworker said "Hi Tammy I just wanted to let you know we have received your PA from Ch*na!! Congratulations you have a daughter!!


I was in tears, I could NOT stop crying! I had prayed for this day for 10 years and just like that they said YES! We knew God had already said Yes but we had to get through her country's list of qualifications! I called Bud (still in tears) he couldn't read his email because he was driving. So of course when he answered he was concerned. He asked, "What happened? Is everything ok?" with anxiety in his voice I could tell he was concerned. I mustered the words through tears and sobs "We have PA!" and the reaction from my husband was priceless! His step of faith just one week prior allowing God to do whatever it was He asked of us, came back with a "THANK YOU JESUS" from my husbands lips as loud as he could! He was so happy and giddy and just kept repeating those words. See what happens when you follow His will! He was not able to be home that night but we celebrated with joy here and Chinese food!!

So without further anticipation and with much joy, may I introduce you to the newest member of our family! Waiting for us to finish all this paperwork and to bring her home!! Our second daughter and our fourth child......Our Ladybug Abigail Hannah.......

 Abby!!!!

The journey has only begun! Please join us in celebrating our good God and all He has planned for us! Praise Him with us for our littlest sweetheart!! We are smitten! We have found out she LOVES music and is very shy and quiet. Once she gets to know you they tell us she is a happy girl. She loves it when people smile and doesn't like it when people are serious! I can live with that! We are a pretty happy family! Sounds to me like she is going to fit right in!!! And Abby makes 6 Tatertots!!! We would love it if you would walk this journey with us! Oh what great things The Lord has planned! Don't miss it!! 

Totally blessed and feeling very thankful!
Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

Friday, November 7, 2014

We have a daughter! Part 1

Oh friends, what joy fills my heart!! We have a daughter and she is beautiful!! The Lord works in wonderful ways. We had not planned to really look at kiddo's until we were further along in this process of adoption but God had other plans!! There have been a few kiddo's files we looked at, and one we even asked more about but God just told us to wait. So here is the story.



One Friday afternoon I was looking at an advocacy website for kiddo's from Ch*na. This page took me to our agency's website not by surprise. I was there to check out this little one they were advocating for, not for my interest but so I could share her with others. She was not someone who we felt comfortable moving forward with. While I was there, I did my normal, scroll through the waiting kids, just to see, maybe if our daughter was there. So I kept scrolling, little eyes staring back at me, but God didn't give me any inclination that any of them were ours. I got to one little one who "fit" (for lack of a better word) into the broad spectrum we had given our agency that we would adopt. I clicked on her link that had a video and the hair on my arms stood up! I thought to myself, surely she has a family matched with her. I just non nonchalantly emailed our agency just to see. What you don't know is that we never just email the agency. When there is a child we think possibly might be ours, my hubby and I stop and talk and pray and seek God's will. So this was totally out of the norm. I didn't even mention her to Bud till later.

So the email was sent asking if she had a family that had her locked in or even on hold. I just knew with her background SOMEONE had to have said, "Yes" to her already. Not only had no one said yes, but no one was interested. I thought hmmmm.... our awesome Social worker replied with this info PLUS her file! A file contains pertinent information about a child such as health info, daily routine, what they like, how many times they've been to the Dr, their special need, where they were found, as well as what province and their birth date.

I was visiting a friend that day so I would've normally jumped all over this. I was patient and waited till I got home and called the hubby. One other thing we do is once we get a file we look at it together and pray over it. He was working that night so I had to wait for him to get home later in the evening. It was killing me to wait. I did call him and tell him what I had done. He was very calm and said OK we will look at it when I get home. I was so giddy. I could hardly wait. I mean there it was in my inbox just begging me to look at it. I however honored my hubby with great reluctance and waited!!

This is a long story so I will do it in two parts......

to be continued....

Lots of love and Ladybugs :)

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Our very first Adoption fundraiser!

OK friends here is the latest update on our adoption! We are knee deep in Home study paperwork. Lots of questions and tons more answers. But we are SO excited!! We are having our very first fundraiser and would love your support and prayers!!

God is so so good and loves us more than we can ever ask or imagine!! He is answering prayers we have been praying for 10 years and opening up doors that were closed! ALL in His plans and timing!Praying Jeremiah 29:11 over this whole adoption! 
Here is the link to our fundraiser! And Abby makes 6!

We are so excited to watch God unfold His plans for us! Ready for the ride of our lives!

Lots of love and Ladybugs! :)

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Journey Begins!!!!!!!

Boy have I been waiting to say that for a LONG time!

I can announce with such joy and happiness that our adoption journey has begun! I have been praying and asking God for a long time to open doors and show us His Will to lead us down His path! He never ceases to amaze me! Things didn't go as we thought they should in the beginning because...well God didn't want us to go that way. So after prayer and much investigation we have followed His path and are moving full steam ahead with this adoption!!


I love that after 10 years of waiting and praying and watching. God picks the perfect time to say "Go"! This journey will not be without turmoil or frustration. But I know that the end will far outweigh everything we will face in the journey! We literally will hold His promises in our arms! To say we are excited is an understatement! We are over the moon!!



Our application has been sent in, a few fee's have been paid. We have done some preliminary paperwork and it gives us great joy to share with you an adoption term we have learned over the years because now our Homestudy begins! We are.....



which simply means we will begin gathering all the paperwork necessary (and its a LOT) to bring our daughter home to her forever family! God has not revealed who she is to us yet but we will be sure to share that with you as soon as we are able to. There are rules and all! But we are so giddy rules aren't bothering us at all! So come along with us on our journey to bring home our Ladybug!! We are in love with her already and do not even know her yet!! So thankful again for God's timing! Pay attention you never know what He may be asking you to do! No matter what it is just "Do Something!"

Join us on our journey as "baby" makes 6!

Lots of Love and Ladybugs!! :)

The Tarter Family! 



Thursday, February 27, 2014

A Mom's Perspective.....Happy 21st Birthday Princess

Today 21 years ago our prayers were answered. After having a sweet baby boy just 2 years and one week prior we prayed that this gift God was giving us was a beautiful bundle of pink joy. God did not disappoint! While lying there on that OR table and Bud excitingly squeezing my hand and wiping my face, we waited expectantly to hear boy or girl? When the doctor said "Congratulations it's a girl!" We sobbed! I truly think our hearts were so full of joy it just spilled out of our eyes! Daddy had his little Princess and I, I had my prayers answered and this perfect pink sweetheart lying in my arms!

Now if you know our girl, that term "sweetheart" still fits her to this day! She really is a very sweet person! So full of love and kindness. She goes out of her way to help anyone. Her and Ernie when they were little were the best of friends! He used to climb up on her crib and just watch her. She would smile that big beautiful smile of hers right back at him, as if to say he would be her life long friend and he would gaze at her with that "I will always protect you" look. And that he still does! She hates it sometimes, but that is just part of being a big brother. She too was equally blessed when she got to become the big sister. She adores her little brother and they too truly are the best of friends!

I remember her being so tiny compared to our boys, both nearly 10 lbs respectively. She was this little tiny 8lb baby girl (yes I know that is an average baby size, but when you have two that are nearly 2 lbs more than she, she looked tiny). What a different dynamic she has brought to our family. At first it was pink ruffles and sweet girl smells, then it turned it to tons of baby dolls and stuffed animals and pink! Lots of pink! That was her favorite color growing up! She loved flowers and bows and ribbons in her hair. Bud used to do her hair in a pony tail (he left the pigtails to me :) ) and she would always ask for a barrette or a ribbon in her hair. Then when she got in school it was Barbie's and Girl Scouts. There she had her heart filled with love because there she met her life long friend Michelle! And her heart was broken when she had to witness the awful torment of cancer taking away a friend she adored. To this day she still thinks of Hayley and talks about her often. Our girl at a young age figured out how sacred life really is. Her heart and her actions still reflect that today.

As middle school came around there was the girl drama that she always hated. She never wanted to be a part of that but somehow got dragged in just a bit. She managed to right herself and pull away from that and I truly think the youth group at church helped with that immensely! Thanks to an awesome Pastor and some wonderful friends, and leaders, our girl fell crazy in love with Jesus even more than she already was! High School came and she tried something new, a little hesitant but she tried Color Guard. Boy did she ever come out of her shell! She loved it! AND she was really good at it! There was still the girl drama and after every long season of both Color/Winter Guard she would say she was done. We would just give her the down time she needed and when try-outs came back around (which was only a few weeks after each season) she would go at it again because she "missed it". Well of course she missed it, she was meant to do it! By her Senior year she had it down pat and I had by that time become a seasoned Marching Band Mom. I had 3 kids in that band at one point. I wore that name very proudly. Not only did she do band but she was also in the choir as well during High School. Music was just in her bones!

While in High School she also found another passion. One that would carry her way beyond the walls of school. She fell in love with making pastries. From the age of 16 she has taken classes upon classes and is still honing the process but it just comes naturally to her. It's as if God gave her those hands to bake and make people happy! She can also cook too. When you go to Culinary college they make sure you can not only bake if that is the field you are going in, but that you can make a meal as well. She already had that advantage, she just got better at it.

I am so very proud of the Woman she is becoming. That sweet little bundle of pink placed in her Daddy's and my arms 21 years ago has touched a lot of lives! So today on her birthday, as always she is trying to make a difference. She has a heart for the orphan and she wants to help end slavery in her generation. If you see her today she is sporting a giant red X on her hand to join others around the globe in the "End it movement" that slavery needs to stop now! God really has something going on in our sweet girls heart. We are just privileged to sit back and watch His plan unfold in our Princess' life! There is more in her heart as well. She is talking about mission trips and possibly joining us on our journey to China to adopt. God only knows what is in store for her! We are just thanking Him for the gift of our daughter!!

Happy 21st birthday Princess Vickie! Your Daddy and I will always be proud that you are ours! We will always "Love you more"!


Blessings and Ladybugs! :)

Thursday, February 20, 2014

The Makings of a Mother....Happy Birthday Ernie!

Today is a very special day in our family. 23 years ago today God made us a family. 23 years ago He laid this perfect 9 lb 15 oz baby boy in my arms after having an emergency C-Section. Our lives were forever changed. We were no longer just a married couple but we were parents, flesh and blood laid right there in our arms! To say I was scared and worried was an understatement. Being 17 had enough worries of its own, but for God to entrust me with this little miracle was beyond imagination. My life up to then (besides the time with my husband) was a mess. There was not a good role model in my life for raising a normal baby. I had been tormented most of my pregnancy about how young I was and what a mistake this was and on and on and on. Laying that baby in my arms I knew that none of that mattered. God had granted us a miracle! This not only was a gift from heaven but a part of each one of our hearts walking around outside my body. He was US together! It was tough the first few years. Had I known then what I know now I would have done a few things different. Not much, but a few! God knew what He was doing when He gave us this sweet boy to love! And love we did! Because we didn't know how to DO anything else. We adored each other so therefore of course we adored that sweet baby boy!

Looking back over the years to all the things he has done. Our son is such a blessing to us. From the 3 am feedings to the snuggles on the couch with Daddy after work. From bringing him home a baby sister (which he adored) and then a baby brother to that first day of Kindergarten. He was always on loan to us, only for a little while. He always belonged to God! We know that now, back then not so much!

As he has grown into a man now I think back of all the things I miss. Swinging on the swing set, hot wheel tracks and big truck races in the mud, snuggling to read books after bubble baths. Learning to read and write and count and sing. Learning to make friends and how to respond to them when they weren't so nice. Birthday balloons, and hot fudge sundaes. Cookies and milk! (The boy is still a cookie monster!) Middle school snuck in there and my little boy started changing. He became quiet and reserved and contemplated a lot! You could always see his mind working. The kid was smart as can be! There was always something going on in that head of his. Baseball came and went, we found out although he didn't like playing all that much, the boy could run! He had stamina! That worked right into playing a Tuba. The first time I saw my little guy holding that giant instrument I thought he would crash under the weight of it. He grew into it and was amazing with it! High School brought Marching Band, and Robotics and girls and confusion. Through all of that He kept his heart on Jesus! See Jesus was always a part of His life and I think the real reason he made it through High School pretty much unscathed.

Off to college he went, Southwest Baptist University! I was scared out of my mind. I must have blinked because all I could see was that little boy walking into Kindergarten but yet there stood  a man where that boy used to stand. Life has not always been easy on Ernie but one thing I know for sure. He has a heart of gold, loves his family, and more importantly loves His Savior!

So for that shy 17 year old girl standing by the man that she loved and God blessing her with a sweet baby boy. I can pretty much say that is where the calling on my life began. I may not have known it but God ALWAYS meant for me to be a Mom. I may not always be the best at it, because I make mistakes every.single.day! I do know that God called me to this for a reason. I know that God brought the two of us together and kept us together nearly 25 years because HE has a better plan for us than we can imagine! I am SO thankful to God for giving us our son Ernie! We love him more than our hearts could ever say! Yes God knew exactly what He was doing laying that sweet baby boy in our arms all those years ago!

Happy 23rd birthday Ernest Charles James! Your Mom and Dad have adored every single minute of our lives with you. We wouldn't trade one moment for anything in the world! We love you more!!!


Lots of love and ladybugs :)


Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Forward

Happy New Year everyone!
I am going to try and do better about updating my blog. I have tons on my heart to share, just need to let it flow through God first.

So time for the New Year's resolution stuff right? Nope! I have tried that in the past and to no avail, fail miserably. So last year I tried something new and it worked! Choose one word and focus on that word for the whole year. Allow it to change your life and penetrate the walls of whatever you may be holding back.

My word last year was TRUST! God was telling me to choose to Trust Him.

I thought OK this could be a little hard, but it's God who else better to trust. The first part of the year was going great! Life was moving right along and trust seemed easy.

Then April came and my world began to fall apart, not very quickly so I just continued to trust. As the worries and strains of life piled ever more tediously on top of me I felt I was going under. God gave me a little somewhat of a reprieve when I just flung it at His feet and said "I TRUST You Lord I cannot do this anymore." That was October, but slowly I began to sink again as the pile began to grow again. I kept reaching for Him but could not SEE Him for the storms whirling around me. He of course was still there, the hope was still there, but my joy was being squashed. Then Christmas came and try as I might all I could do was focus on Him solely. I couldn't see the season, nor the joy, nor even the things that go along with it. I felt spiritual, physically, and mentally sick. I just kept reaching for Him and pleading with Him to remind me He was there. There were little glimpses that would lift my spirits but nothing to pull me completely out of the muck. Christmas for me was just sad, I could barely function, just went through the motions. Then I read something about Mary being so young and frightened and feeling so alone during her pregnancy with Jesus. She had HIM growing inside of her and was feeling the same as I was. I mean WOW! He was right there with her.

It reminded me

He is STILL right here with me.

TRUST HIM to make it through these storms.

He has always been there before, why would He not be here still?! You know what I had forgotten? You know what I had done? Listened to the enemies lies. "He has left you, you aren't good enough, why would He rescue you again?, You're not worthy." Then I got mad! Satan had made the wrong person mad I had enough!

I am a child of the ONE TRUE King HE lives inside of me!

His love, His power, His trust, right there inside me!

I had forgotten to "get out of the way" and let HIM be, HIM!

I knew I could not do any of what I was facing on my own, but He could do it all!

Proverbs 3:5-6 kept coming to mind "Trust in the Lord, with ALL your heart, lean NOT on your own understanding. In all your ways ACKNOWLEDGE Him and HE will make your path straight."

See that had nothing to do with me, this was all about HIM! Trusting HIM, allowing HIM to unfold His plans for me. Stop trying to do it on my own. And as I let go completely this time, things have gotten a little bit better. I can breathe a little. It's not all solved but I am still trusting Him to work all things according to His glory, for those who love Him (Rom 8:28). I will carry this trust into the new year.

He gave me a new word just this morning for this new year. That is just how God is, He won't leave you where you are. He wants to make us better. So as I thought of what my word could be this year, He just kept whispering this word.


We are no longer going to live "back there" in the past. It is time to move Forward. Not going to dwell on all the mistakes and all the heartache. We are going to go FORWARD and see what new things He has in store for me. Hang on, not to tightly lest I boast, to all the great things that happened and love that was shared. But walk in freedom and move Forward! This scripture comes to mind actually its been hurled at me multiple times today! :-) Love when God does that!

Isaiah 43:18-19 "Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new. Now it will spring forth;Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the dessert."

There it is right from His heart. Let go of the past, move forward and watch what I will do in your hard times. Beauty from ashes! A new thing!! I cannot wait! I am on board and excited to SEE what this "new thing" is! Knowing God like I do, it will be fabulous and ALL for His glory! Hang on friends! Allow Him to change you like He has me. Pick your word for the year. No resolutions that you cannot stick to, just one word. Allow God to use that word to make you new! Forward here I come!

lyrics to a beautiful song we sing in church, guess what the name of it is....

Moving Forward

Oh, hey, what a moment You have brought me to?
Such a freedom I have found in You
You're the healer who makes all things new, yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to You my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward, oh

You have risen with all power in Your hands
You have given me a second chance
Hallelujah, hallelujah, yeah, yeah, yeah


I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to You my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
moving forward

Not going back, moving ahead
Here to declare to You, my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward


You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward, oh
You make all things new
You make all things new and I will follow You forward

You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward
You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward

I will follow You forward!

Happy New Year! Lots of love and Ladybugs! :-)