Thursday, February 20, 2014

The Makings of a Mother....Happy Birthday Ernie!

Today is a very special day in our family. 23 years ago today God made us a family. 23 years ago He laid this perfect 9 lb 15 oz baby boy in my arms after having an emergency C-Section. Our lives were forever changed. We were no longer just a married couple but we were parents, flesh and blood laid right there in our arms! To say I was scared and worried was an understatement. Being 17 had enough worries of its own, but for God to entrust me with this little miracle was beyond imagination. My life up to then (besides the time with my husband) was a mess. There was not a good role model in my life for raising a normal baby. I had been tormented most of my pregnancy about how young I was and what a mistake this was and on and on and on. Laying that baby in my arms I knew that none of that mattered. God had granted us a miracle! This not only was a gift from heaven but a part of each one of our hearts walking around outside my body. He was US together! It was tough the first few years. Had I known then what I know now I would have done a few things different. Not much, but a few! God knew what He was doing when He gave us this sweet boy to love! And love we did! Because we didn't know how to DO anything else. We adored each other so therefore of course we adored that sweet baby boy!

Looking back over the years to all the things he has done. Our son is such a blessing to us. From the 3 am feedings to the snuggles on the couch with Daddy after work. From bringing him home a baby sister (which he adored) and then a baby brother to that first day of Kindergarten. He was always on loan to us, only for a little while. He always belonged to God! We know that now, back then not so much!

As he has grown into a man now I think back of all the things I miss. Swinging on the swing set, hot wheel tracks and big truck races in the mud, snuggling to read books after bubble baths. Learning to read and write and count and sing. Learning to make friends and how to respond to them when they weren't so nice. Birthday balloons, and hot fudge sundaes. Cookies and milk! (The boy is still a cookie monster!) Middle school snuck in there and my little boy started changing. He became quiet and reserved and contemplated a lot! You could always see his mind working. The kid was smart as can be! There was always something going on in that head of his. Baseball came and went, we found out although he didn't like playing all that much, the boy could run! He had stamina! That worked right into playing a Tuba. The first time I saw my little guy holding that giant instrument I thought he would crash under the weight of it. He grew into it and was amazing with it! High School brought Marching Band, and Robotics and girls and confusion. Through all of that He kept his heart on Jesus! See Jesus was always a part of His life and I think the real reason he made it through High School pretty much unscathed.

Off to college he went, Southwest Baptist University! I was scared out of my mind. I must have blinked because all I could see was that little boy walking into Kindergarten but yet there stood  a man where that boy used to stand. Life has not always been easy on Ernie but one thing I know for sure. He has a heart of gold, loves his family, and more importantly loves His Savior!

So for that shy 17 year old girl standing by the man that she loved and God blessing her with a sweet baby boy. I can pretty much say that is where the calling on my life began. I may not have known it but God ALWAYS meant for me to be a Mom. I may not always be the best at it, because I make mistakes! I do know that God called me to this for a reason. I know that God brought the two of us together and kept us together nearly 25 years because HE has a better plan for us than we can imagine! I am SO thankful to God for giving us our son Ernie! We love him more than our hearts could ever say! Yes God knew exactly what He was doing laying that sweet baby boy in our arms all those years ago!

Happy 23rd birthday Ernest Charles James! Your Mom and Dad have adored every single minute of our lives with you. We wouldn't trade one moment for anything in the world! We love you more!!!

Lots of love and ladybugs :)