Thursday, August 13, 2009

In less than a week...

I have been running around all week trying to finish some important things up, and as I sit here I am suddenly reminded how my life will change in less than a week. You see in less than a week, we will know longer be a family of five under one roof, in less than a week, when trying to figure out where to sit when we all pile in the van, there will be no fighting over who gets the captains chairs, in less than a week, there will be no loud laughing and wrestling noises rising slowly and loudly up the basement stairs, in less than a week, my heart will be carried off to another town in another place to live. In less than a week, when we go to dinner it will be less wait because there is less people to share with, in less than a week, my baby will no longer be my baby, but a college man, not needing me in the same capacity. In less than a week, my whole life will change.

I have been preparing for this all summer long, but yet I sit here with tears streaming wondering, Did I teach him all he needs to know to survive with kindness and love in this cruel world? He is ready! With plans in his head and shoes in his feet, he will not travel down the wrong way street (Dr. Seuss) He will move mountains, with The Lord, He will bring people close to The Lord. I know he will share all he is and all God has taught him with others. See in less than a week, Ernie will be headed down to Southwest Baptist University to college because he is following what The Lord has called him to do, our son when finished with all his classes and all his learning and growing and loving and knowing will be serving. Serving The Lord as a Youth Pastor! How could I ask for more?! Will he still need me? Yes he will. Will he still want to share with me? I am sure he will. Will he miss me? I pray he will. Will he enjoy every minute of loving on The Lord? You bet he will!!

Still its hard, watching your baby grow into this tall handsome man. His feet are big and his dreams are too. His heart is full of the gospel and he wants to share it with everyone. I am scared, scared his heart will be broken, scared he will be lonely, and feel unloved, scared that he will wonder if he made the right choice. Then I am reassured by his own words, Mom, he says, I would not be doing this if I didn't think for one minute that God would leave me alone in this. Hasn't left me yet has he? I look up into those beautiful eyes of his and say, No, no son he hasn't. I still see the little fingers holding tight to my hand and the sweet jumps up into my lap to hug my neck tight and say mama I love ya! Those little toes that use to curl around my feet when he wanted to stand on them. The baby kisses, the sweet sweet baby kisses and giggles. But that is not who stands before me now. The person that stands before me now, is a confident, bright, intelligent, loving sweet sweet man. The man God has made him and saved him to be, simply breathtaking. My heart will yearn for him and will pray for him and will get excited for him. In less than a week, my baby will be a man! Will you pray for him? I will cry and be blessed just like I have every single day I have got to call him my son. In less than a week, my life will change forever.