Changes....changes are a normal part of life. I guess I have had SO many changes throughout my life that were life altering even the little ones seem to get at me sometimes. This change is expected, but still I am handling it in a different way than last time. Ernie is going back to college tomorrow. He is down packing right now, never seems to be in any type of hurry, thats Ernie. If you have known him at all, you would know that about him. He hasn't a care in the world, and never really worries..until the very last minute. I guess you would call that procrastination. He has always been laid back, never cared what others thought of him, nor did he ever care to "fit in" with a crowd. It use to worry me but now I know its just who he is, yet sometimes I wish I could motivate him just a wee bit. :) Nope not happening, that wouldn't be Ernie. He motivates himself in his own way. So tomorrow he heads off back down to college, to continue this journey God has put him on. I am praying that he has an awakening like you would not believe. He really needs a for lack of a better word "jolt". Maybe its his age, maybe its him getting use to this new life of his, or maybe again its just Ernie. I don't know but it worries me sometimes. I worry that he will fail, that he will lose his focus, that he will miss ALL the things God has for him. I just pray as he is learning book lessons, that God is also teaching him life lessons that will be SO valuable to him that he will never forget it. So again this child I still pray for...well I always will, but this semester ferverantly.
Another change is Vickie, where is the time going?? It scares me sometimes. She is maturing so much and ready to start life out there in this big world, yet she still holds back some. That I am grateful for. She just reminded me yesterday (as if I need reminding) that she graduates next May, just a bit over a year from now. Why does she have to do that? We were driving down the road and I burst into tears. I could barely see the road. Remember my earlier statemet? I don't do well with big changes. I have to prepare myself for them. Yes in reality I know all this. I know she is going off to Culinary college and she will do WONDERFUL! She has such a nack for it. Amazing! What a gift! Yet in my heart, I see my sweet girl all wrapped in pink as I rocked her to sleep. Oh how I prayed for a little girl when I was pregnant with her, and God answered my prayers. The joy she has brought us is amazing, she is an unbelieveably kind and generous and loving soul. I truly believe this whole family (especially her brothers) is as loving as we are because of her. She never goes a day without showing us her love. That is God right there let me tell ya! My heart screams, What am I going to do without her?, yet I know she is going to share that love with others wherever she may go. You can see Jesus in her, what a blessing. My sweet little baby girl has grown into more than I could ever expected, or wanted. Thank you Lord for your blessings of her. There is something about a mother/daughter relationship that is undescribable, especially when you're on the mother end. One more year with our sweet girl and then she is off to start her journey God has put her on. Just praying for her now that she does all the things that God has for her right here right now.
I still have my Tommy with me a few more years, I don't want to think about him leaving quite yet. He loves me so much, never forgets to tell me that everyday. He makes me laugh, he makes me crazy, he makes my life complete. We never planned on a third child when we were thinking this all out at the very beginning of our marriage. We said two would be good, a boy and a girl. To tell you the truth I ask myself this, What was I thinking?! If God wants to give me 10 kids then I will take them! Tommy is special though. So very special! Those of you who know his story know that. What a great kid he has always been, a little mischievous, but hey thats to be expected. Truly a gift from God saved just for us! He is such a handful at times and then there are times you never hear a peep, those times make me worry LOL!! He makes each day brighter and reminds us why we are parents. This family would NOT be complete with out our Tom Tom!! He is so helpful to other, to the underdog. You truly see his heart and his love of The Lord when he helps others. It takes me aback sometimes. Did I mention he is SO onary?! Constantly picking on his brother and dad and horsing around all the time, gets himself into trouble here and there, nothing big or noteworthy of, it does keep us on our toes though :) but to see him give his whole heart to another who truly needs it, amazes me! What a genunie heart, and what a great kid!!! Yes I am glad I have my Tommy a few more years! We love our kids so very much, what a blessing from The Lord each one of them is to this family!