Monday, April 19, 2010

Being Still

My house is crazy 90% of the time. We have two teens at home and one in college and let's just say our schedules are normally always packed with something. They are all busy kids and I find myself loving just being with them no matter what they are "in to" its nice when it is something I like though always a plus! The last few weeks have been relaxing, no place to run too other than church! This week however is gonna be busy 2 concerts in one week and then Tommy has Large group band festival this weekend in Springfield, and Ernie is bringing two friends home to stay the weekend with us! Busy again! I don't mind, remember I love a full house! :) Its just sometimes when I want to get alone with God, I have to squeeze it in. That is NOT fun and God does not like it when we "squeeze" Him in! So I have come up with a new plan!

You see as your children grow their schedules change, they get up earlier and stay up later, and if your teens are like mine, they love to talk into the wee hours of the night. Now I am a night owl but there is only so long I can stay up until my body reminds me that I do not have the body of the teens that live in my house! But I don't want to miss a minute of time with them. I mean if they need to talk its because its important or they just want to "be with me" I find that comforting! That even in the middle of the teen years, my kids still want to be with me!! They love hanging out with their friends don't get me wrong, and I tend to embarrass them in front of them now and again. (I promise not on purpose) So trust me they ARE normal! But we have this bond. It is hard to describe, but I think it is like the bond that we have with God. We go off and do the things we have to do in this world, like work and the things life requires and we too like hanging out with our friends. I find though that we are at most peace, and feel the most love, when we are in the presence of our Heavenly Father! Lately I have been just craving that time with My Father. I need it, it fuels me and fills me up. It reminds me I am loved beyond anything I can every imagine. I pray I relay that to my children like God does for me, course nothing in comparison could I offer them like He does me, but I want them to feel that kind of unconditional love.

So I have found my way to spend even more time with The Father, my special "sit in His lap time". I have to break it up but its kind of like saying "Good morning Lord, and then later in the day "Goodnight Lord thanks for getting me through this day." I have found myself to be praying more, and listening more and loving more! So I think it is working. You really have to "Be Still and know that He is God" to get this sometimes. Do you know what I mean when I say I crave that time with Him? Its like a breath of fresh air or a drink of cool water. He loves us so very much! So very much!

For instance, (of course I have to give you an example, you should know me by now :) ) I have began to read Max Lucado's "Fearless" its his new book that just came out. Its truly amazing I highly recommend it! Can change your life forever! So I am reading this chapter called "The Villagers of Stiltsville" its about fearing that you do not matter, seeming insignificant. Have you ever felt that way? Oh I have believe me. I feel insignificant in other peoples life's, like when they get around to me they will spend time with me, or if there was more time in the day they would drop a line or a call or text just to say they are thinking of me, or there are those whom you adore and you aren't always sure how to tell them, because you already feel insignificant so if you look vulnerable or "not perfect" it will just get worse. Yes I have felt that way. God showed me something in this chapter. That in the middle of me letting this fear seep in that our sweet daughter in China may feel this way as well. The reason I say this is because Max mentioned it to the letter about orphans in China! Don't believe me take a look at page 24! I was being all "me me me" and God reminded me this chapter is not really about me its about her! When I do not even have her on my mind which lately has been rare, but I was completely focusing on what God was telling me here and He just had to plug that in. It was not a little thing either it was a full page about these sweet orphans and it was hard to read through my tears. I stopped right there and praised Him for putting adoption in our lives and on our hearts. I have to confess it made me want her home RIGHT NOW though! Especially when the chapter said how the children weeped over getting books brought in by a friend of Max's one of his children's box had been translated into Chinese so they could read them. They cried because someone thought of them, thought they were "significant" It just broke my heart! Can you imagine?? No one ever really loving you or being there to hold you and read to you? Can you imagine that, feeling that insignificant? Oh how it makes me hurt for them! I would bring them all home to live with me if I could!

Again more tears but He brought me comfort too! Psalm 139:15 "You were fearfully and wonderfully made (I was thinking of her) Psalm 139:14, 18 He can't stop thinking about you! If you could count His thoughts, "they would be more in number than the sand" Read that again. Can you imagine that?? God thinks about us THAT much!!! Oh how that brings joy to my hurting heart! I want my baby girl home and He knows how much I hurt and how much I want that because He wants that too. I know that He is teaching me to just wait on Him and love on Him in the wait. It's tough but It is the only way this will work. I know I have tried before to push this forward. This time feels different, this time I truly feel He is leading every step. The last words of this chapter from Max is this, He is talking about when the Carpenter came to Stiltsville this is what it says,
since the Carpenter came
and refused to be stilted.
He chose low over high,
left the system tip-tilted.

"You matter already,"
he explained to the town.
"Trust me on this one,
Keep your feet on the ground."

So we are trusting Him as always. Proverbs 3:5-6 came to me today in a text. I thought it fitting. Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart, lean NOT on YOUR own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge Him for He will make your path straight. Fitting indeed! It is my youngest son's favorite Bible verse too. God is so sweet to love on us. Praise Him for all the wonderful things He does in your life, from the littlest things to the most beautiful thing you can think of, all from HIM!!!

I'm not going back,
I'm moving ahead,
I'm here to declare to you,
my past is over,
In You, All things are made new,
Surrender my life to Christ,
I'm moving, moving FORWARD!!

Please continue to pray for us and join us on this journey "Moving Forward" Its a great song we sing in church and I just love it very much!! Praising you Father for what Your doing and what Your going to do!

With Blessings and love :)